


strange love

by paladincoolcats



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Blood, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Humor, I'll tag more I'm sure, Kissing, Knives, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, mafia, there's also side Jian Yi Zhengxi but I didn't tag it since it isn't the main focus, you can also find this on wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:53:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8635993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladincoolcats/pseuds/paladincoolcats
Summary: He Tian had honestly only wanted home cooked meals, take-out food had begun to make his stomach churn. He definitely hadn't bargained for a certain red headed asshole to make his stomach churn with butterflies. It made him feel helplessly weak. Hong Fa hadn't expected to grow fond of his biggest tormenter. But as they begin to learn more about one another after a turn of events drives them together, both end up with way more feelings than they bargained for.





	1. control

**Author's Note:**

> hello new comers! I've mainly been writing this on wattpad because when I first started it there was literally 0 he tian/guanshan fics on here and we didn't even know he had a name that wasn't redhead. but here this is. each chapter is named after a halsey song because she's my mom.

_Goddamn righ_ _t_  
_Y_ _ou should be scared of me_  
_W_ _ho is in control?_  
_-Halsey_ _/_ _Control_

☼

"Where'd this scar come from, He Tian?" painted fingernails tapped over a raised pink line standing out again the muscled, lightly bronzed skin of He Tian's arm.

The raven haired boy flashed a toothy grin to the girls surrounding him, "Shattered my radius on the grille of a moving car."

At that, the flock of females all squealed, covering their mouths in faux horror. Yet, as the final bell rang, they giggled and said their goodbyes before coyly dashing off. A massive relief to He Tian, who had simply been trying to sneak outside to catch a quick cigarette break without being interrupted.

He made his way out of the quickly emptying halls and out into the courtyard, crisp fall air nipping at his skin pleasingly. It made him slow his pace considerably, breathing the air in to feel the sharpness of it in his throat, but a sudden glimpse of pale blond hair made him speed up once more.

"Hello, asshole!" he exclaimed as he finally caught up with his target, throwing an arm around the boy's neck and yanking him to his side.

With a flailing of lanky limbs, Jian Yi nearly smacked He Tian in the face, "What the fuck-"

"Have you missed me?" He Tian laughed, pushing aside Jian Yi's protesting hands and holding tighter as he tried to escape.

"Don't just grab someone by the throat, bastard, unless you want a bruised dick!" Jian Yi screeched. "Let go of me, I have clean up duty with Zhengxi."

"Since when do you willingly go to clean up duty? I have it as well, but I've got better plans."

Jian Yi finally managed to pull himself from He Tian's grip, scowling with his hair, jacket, and shirt all rumpled from rough housing, "I promised Zhengxi, so fuck off. You know I hate being grabbed like that."

"Would you prefer I grab you here?" He Tian reached for Jian Yi's ass.

"Jian Yi."

As always, Jian Yi's knight in shining armor came to ruin He Tian's fun. Zhan Zheng Xi, Jian Yi's best friend and obvious (to everyone but Zhan Zheng Xi) true love.

"I'll knee you in the balls next time!" Jian Yi declared, but Zhan Zheng Xi held him back by the sleeve of his jacket.

"Chill out, why are you all hyped up," Zhan Zheng Xi adjusted his hold on Jian Yi. "You weren't trying to get out of clean up duty again, were you?"

Jian Yi hid himself behind Zhan Zheng Xi despite being slightly taller, light blond meshing with dark blond, "No, I was coming to find you when this fucker tried mauling me."

Zhan Zheng Xi remained passive as always, "Are you joining us for clean up duty, He Tian?"

He Tian shook his head, wiggling his eyebrows at Jian Yi once more to make him fume further,  "Nah, I've got dinner plans."

"We'll see you around then."

Zhan Zheng Xi began tugging Jian Yi along, ignoring the taller blond as he gave He Tian the finger, "Or we won't because he's a dick-"

It always brightened He Tian's day to piss off Jian Yi, simply because Jian Yi wasn't terrified of him like most people were. He would actually engage in banter, would stand his ground and puff himself up despite being far shorter and far more lacking of body strength.

His all time favorite thing to do was to flirt with Jian Yi - platonically of course. He had no desire to actually date the boy. Jian Yi had eyes for Zhan Zhang Xi only, and He Tian respected that.

Things were far less entertaining when people crumbled under He Tian's teasing. Unfortunately, there was only one other person who at least _attempted_ banter. He was slightly more fearful than Jian Yi, but he would do. And he just so happened to be part of He Tian's dinner plans.

☼

Hong Fa scowled as he chopped green onions into a boiling pot on the stovetop. Standing inside a massive studio apartment overlooking the city below couldn't even soothe his irritation. He had homework, he needed to shower, and he was exhausted from cleaning.

But yet, he was stuck catering to the needs of a, for lack of better term, fuckboy. He Tian paid decently, which was perhaps the only reason he put up with his dark haired tormented, and he'd only been doing it for about two weeks, yet the routine was beginning to grow old. Or, so he tried to convince himself.

The sky outside the window darkened, lights beginning to flicker on in the streets below. Hong Fa's scowl deepened. If He Tian didn't show again he was leaving the stove on, going home, and burning the fucker's apartment building down.

Which, the more he thought about it, seemed like quite a good idea to do regardless. He hadn't actually ever witnessed anyone else living with He Tian despite him claiming he lived with an uncle and only being 17, anyway.

But before a decision could be reached, the bastard He Tian was unlocking the door, having given Hong Fa specific direction to always lock himself in and to open the door for no one, and entering the apartment.

"It actually smells decent," the dark haired boy announced, immediately stripping himself of his shirt.

Hong Fa attempted to ignore him. He Tian, however, held no regards to personal space, and made his way over to stand directly behind the cooking boy. Hong Fa held up his stirring spoon, prepared to swing if He Tian attempted to grope him like he was known to do.

"Why do you smell like sweat, get away from the food-"

"I jogged here because I'm starving," He Tian interrupted. "Is it ready?"

"No, because I was busy cleaning your fucking apartment. So go pick up the goddamn shirt you just threw on the floor."

He Tian laughed, reaching for Hong Fa's spoon, "I make the rules around here, Carrot Head. I want to stir."

"You're going to make it scald to the bottom," Hong Fa warned. "And don't call me Carrot Head."

He Tian smacked Hong Fa's hands away with a spoon, "I can stir soup-"

"It's gumbo."

"What the fuck ever," He Tian's eyebrows were knit together determinedly.

Hong Fa didn't dare leave him alone in the kitchen, he had learned before that He Tian had a short attention span for cooking. He'd get bored quickly, leave the food to boil over, and then be grumpy when he had to eat take-out food instead.

Luckily, He Tian eventually handed the spoon over once more to change clothes. Out of the kindness of his heart, Hong Fa set the bowls of gumbo on the coffee table so they could eat as soon as He Tian was clothed once more. Or rather, the sooner He Tian and he ate the quicker he could leave.

He Tian happily snatched his bowl up as he returned, and Hong Fa waited eagerly to hear the boy complain about how the bowl was burning him. He knew very well just how hot the porcelain was. Instead, He Tian simply began eating, idly flipping through tv channels with his foot on the remote.

"Good food, Carrot Head," He Tian noted. "I won't fire you yet, even if you are awful company and have unnaturally orange hair."

"Oh, fuck you," Hong Fa punched He Tian in the thigh, earning a slightly harder hit from He Tian - dangerously near his crotch. Granted, he found himself smirking about it.

He cleaned the kitchen while He Tian watched some sort of basketball tournament. Only when Hong Fa gathered his things and crept towards the door did He Tian acknowledge him. The dark haired boy was upon him before he could even reach for the doorknob.

"Running off so soon?" He Tian laughed, giving Hong Fa a rough pat to the back. "Are you sure you don't want to watch the rest of the game with me? There's beer in the fridge."

 _How the hell,_ Hong Fa thought to himself, but instead he shook his head, "Just have one of those punks you met up with the other day over."

He Tian's face darkened immediately, smile dropping, and Hong Fa regretted the statement. Weeks prior he had followed He Tian out of pure curiosity after being given the task of delivering a note. He had ended up stumbling upon what was perhaps something he hadn't been meant to see. Either way, He Tian had quite literally threatened to stitch his mouth closed if he brought it up, and yet...

"No," He Tian said quietly, pulling the redhead closer by the sleeve of his jacket. "Didn't I tell you not to mention them? Don't even think about them."

"Noted," Hong Fa held up a hand to try to pry himself free. "They seemed like a bunch of creeps anyway."

"You _should_ be creeped out by them. They should scare the shit out of you," He Tian finally released him, opening the door and giving him a light shove out of it. "You should be scared of me as well. Now go on, go home. I'll see you tomorrow either here or at school."

Hong Fa didn't need to be told twice. He made his way down the familiar hall, down the wooden steps, and out of the apartment.

Curiosity still stirred deep inside him, but he'd certainly wait to bring it up again, because something told him that He Tian wouldn't hesitate to follow through with his threat.

☼

He Tian watched Hong Fa leave, on edge. He'd seen them as he entered the building, and he knew that they'd seen the redhead most likely arriving and leaving. It made him debate following the boy out of the neighborhood just in case. But, as if to prove his point that he had been watched, a tall and stocky man in black jeans and a black t-shirt slipped up the steps shortly after Hong Fa had left.

He Tian promptly ignored him, planning to stride straight back into his apartment and ignore the bastard approaching him.

"Hold up there, little brother," He Jiefeng, the bane of his existence, was suddenly right behind him.

He Jiefeng may have been blood, and he had been taught all of his life to stay true to his blood and his "family", but the older boy was one of the people that He Tian couldn't stand.

"What, _brother?"_ He Tian spat out the word like it burnt him.

"Some of the guys have been telling me you've been having a visitor. I'm assuming it's the redheaded dude," Jiefeng smirked. "What's he to you?"

"A maid," He Tian said flatly. Eliciting any sort of reaction would only encourage hostility on Jiefeng's part. He decided to lie. "And he's a she."

"That didn't look like any girl to me."

"I never claimed that she was attractive, I just said she was a maid," He Tian pointed out, moving to close the door. Jiefeng blocked it.

"What's the hurry?"

"I'm tired and I have school. I'm actually trying to make something of myself, unlike-"

A fist connected with his cheek, and out of reflex He Tian swung back, punching his brother directly in the nose. Many claimed they had the same facial features, sharp and angular, but he'd punched Jiefeng so many times that his nose was far more misshapen.

"You fucker," Jiefeng hissed.

"Burn in hell, brother," He Tian said pleasantly, using all his strength to shove the taller boy back to slam the door closed and dead bolt it.

"You know our line of work doesn't leave time for "maids" He Tian," Jiefeng's voice was muffled by the solid of the door.

"Yeah, yeah," He Tian grumbled to himself.

He was well aware. There was a reason he never let anyone close to him.

 


	2. coming down

_I found a savior_   
_I don't think he remembers_   
_'Cause he's off to pay his crimes_   
_And he's got no time for mine_   
_-Halsey / Coming Down_

_☼_

It was a bit cold to be eating outside, but it meant that very few people were in the courtyard for lunch. Which, was how Hong Fa and his "friends", preferred it. They were feeling quite rowdy, apparently, as they were tossing around a sandwich that belonged to a dark haired boy Hong Fa hardly knew.

Hong Fa, on the other hand, was lost in   
thought. For the previous four days, He Tian had been finding him in the halls, telling him to take the night off. It was driving Hong Fa mad with suspicion. He Tian wasn't the person to just give someone time off. There was most certainly a catch, but Hong Fa couldn't place what it was.

He was running his fingers against his scalp, mussing up the orange strands there. Perhaps He Tian could have replaced him, but the bronze skinned boy seemed creepily set on Hong Fa working as both his "maid" and chef.

He Tian had yet to make an appearance that day, but Hong Fa knew it was inevitable. Just as the thought crossed his mind, he was suddenly shoved over on the bench as another warm body sat directly next to him.

Assuming it was one of the members from his posse, his hand flew to grab the back of their shirt in attempts to yank them backwards and onto the ground. Instead, long fingers wrapped around his wrist tightly.

"Hello," of course it was the asshole, He Tian.

The other guys at the table all froze, looking from Hong Fa to the newcomer. Tai Ya, a boy with shaved grey hair, lifted an eyebrow, "Do we need to take care of this bastard, Red?"

Granted, most of the boys at the table were heavily intimidated by He Tian. Weeks prior when Hong Fa had attempted to fight a lanky blond kid, He Tian had sent the group running with a simple fucking look.

"Take care of me?" He Tian asked pleasantly, reaching across the table and snatching the sandwich that had been being thrown about. "For starters, you can begin with feeding me. I'll take this, thanks."

Hong Fa looked at the boy in disbelief. He appeared laid back as usual, black t-shirt despite the bite of cold in the air, black joggers with a blue stripe. Hong Fa and any other sane person wore a jacket, or two, against the chilly weather. But not this bastard.

"Can we talk elsewhere?" Hong Fa hissed, shoving at He Tian so that he'd let go of his wrist.

"I'm pretty comfortable here and I just now got my sandwich," He Tian frowned, holding up the plastic bag with the destroyed sandwich inside.

A scowl was going to become permanently etched onto Hong Fa's face if he spent two more seconds with the sharp faced demon of a boy. In response to He Tian, he attempted to shove the boy off the table bench once more, but with a firm and alarmingly fast yank to Hong Fa's sleeve, he was crashing sideways off of the bench and onto the ground.

With nearly a mouthful of dead grass, Hong Fa lifted his head to see all of his companions leaping up and scattering away from He Tian. He gave the dark haired boy a shaky finger, "Fuck off."

"Stop playing in the dirt," He Tian tsked. "On the bright side, we have more privacy. That's what you wanted when you asked to somewhere else, right? Planning to make a move on me?"

Hong Fa pushed himself up from the ground, dusting himself off and shaking with rage. He Tian simply smirked up at him from where he still sat on the bench, unfazed by Hong Fa's trembling.

"I'd sooner chop my dick off," Hong Fa snarled.

He Tian laughed, "I was under the impression that you'd already done that."

"Tell me what you want before I punch your teeth out."

He Tian opened the sandwich bag, frowning at the wheat bread inside before plucking it out and tossing it away, "I just wanted to let you know that you'll be starting up cleaning my apartment again tonight along with cooking for us both."

"Like hell I will!"

"I'm practically your employer, are denying your boss' orders?" He Tian's tone took on a threatening note as he still worked on picking apart the damn sandwich.

"I don't work for you, I'm not actually employed. I can say no anytime I damn please," Hong Fa spat. Granted, he could also walk off if he wanted, and yet he still stood arguing with the fucker.

"I'll meet you after school, we have to go get groceries and I don't know what to buy because I don't know what you're making," He Tian said simply, finally standing up and tossing the sandwich bag to Hong Fa. "Don't bother trying to ditch met, Carrot Head. I can find you without a problem."

And with that, He Tian strolled off, crunching through leaves as Hong Fa remained fuming with a destroyed sandwich in his hand. Stupid fucking bastard.

☼

Four days of take-out, although seemingly a short time, was miserable for He Tian. That and he was growing increasingly pissed off at the pile of laundry he was building. Briefly he considered dragging his brother or another one of the members of Wenyi Siwang, the "family" He Tian had been dragged into at the age of 11, to do the laundry since they were the reason he was keeping Hong Fa away.

The dumb redhead considered himself a bad ass, and perhaps he was in a high school, but Wenyi Siwang would devour him alive. He Tian didn't feel like cleaning up the kid's blood stains.

Waiting four days perhaps wasn't long enough, He Tian had been on high alert watching for signs of _being_ watched. Part of the deal he'd made with his father was that while he completed school he'd live in his uncle's building, would be unbothered by the "family".

Showing up at the apartment and harassing him about having company wasn't exactly "unbothered". Yet, he couldn't wait any longer. He did have some traits of a normal human being, he sometimes wanted social interaction outside the mafia. Social interaction with someone only mildly afraid of him.

Jian Yi was off that list, as he would blow him off for ramen with Zhan Zheng Xi in a heartbeat. Hong Fa, on the other hand... he could cook and when he wasn't a grumpy fucker he could be entertaining company.

However, He Tian hadn't spotted anyone around for the two previous nights, so he finally had requested Hong Fa come back to cook and clean. He'd simply take extra precaution and never let the boy enter or leave the apartment alone.

He doubted the boy had much to do anyway, even though he knew nothing of the boy's home life. Or, upon further thought, he didn't know the boy well in general. Just that he hung about with a bunch of pathetic bastards who thought they were tough shit. He Tian didn't find them to be decent companions to Hong Fa in the slightest. They were far too rowdy and childish.

After telling Hong Fa to meet him after school, he waited outside a concealed side door of the building. Without a doubt the red haired boy was going to try to sneak off before He Tian could catch him. He leaned against the stone side of the building, a cigarette perched between his fingers as he blew clouds of smoke towards the blue fall sky.

He hadn't waited terribly long when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Not many had his number, despite the girls that gave him theirs, so when he was texted he had good reason to be on edge. It generally was something "family" related.

_-Come get this red haired fucker before I kick his ass. He's asking me where you are like I care- : Blond Bastard (Jian Yi)_

He Tian's eyebrows shot up. The boy had gone out the front. The boy was actually _waiting_ for him. With a speed that was far unexpected from himself, he hurried around the building towards the main courtyard.

Jian Yi's tall form was what he saw first, accompanied by of course Zhan Zheng Xi. And standing awkwardly nearby, hands shoved into his jacket pockets and his head low, was Hong Fa.

A smug smile was plastered on He Tian's face as he approached the three, "Carrot Head! I can't believe you actually listened! Well, I suppose I can because I would have found you and killed you had you ignored my request."

Hong Fa scowled, "Let's just go already."

Jian Yi flung a hand out to stop the red head, and out of some sort of uncontrollable instinct of defense he only ever really used on himself. As He Tian's hand grabbed Jian Yi's wrist, Zhan Zheng Xi immediately pulled the boy away, his brow furrowing at He Tian. He might be slightly more difficult to beat, but He Tian knew he could although he would never have to. Zhan Zheng Xi was practically a saint. Then again, he was certain there wasn't a thing the boy wouldn't do for Jian Yi.

The lighter blond was unfazed, "You two are going somewhere? Together?!"

"Jian Yi its not really our business," Zhan Zheng Xi was certainly watching He Tian at that point, keeping an arm in front of Jian Yi in what could come across as impatient, but what He Tian knew was protective.

"I'm being taken against my will," Hong Fa grumbled. "Chill the fuck out, it's not your business."

"Come on, Carrot Head," He Tian smirked as Zhan Zhang Xi gave Hong Fa a very disapproving look. He clearly was the only one allowed to tell Jian Yi what to do. "We've got groceries to get."

For most of the walk to the store, Hong Fa was quiet, and He Tian smoked. Upon arriving, Hong Fa was becoming increasingly sullen. He Tian hadn't expected it, the store they had gone to was newer and unnecessarily fancy, received the freshest produce, and required a rather pricey membership for entrance.

"What the hell do we need here?" Hong Fa grumbled, halting right in front of the entrance. "Let's make this as fast as possible."

"What's up your ass?" He Tian caught the boy's arm, pulling him out of the way of people trying to get in and out of the automatic doors.

"None of your business," the red haired boy snapped. "Maybe I just don't want to be around you."

It made He Tian strangely angry. Generally he didn't give a shit if someone wanted to be around him or not. Hong Fa tried pulling away, but He Tian tightened his grip, "Watch what you say around me, you shouldn't talk to me like that."

Hong Fa wouldn't meet his gaze, so he released the boy and pushed him lightly towards the store. He stumbled of course, shaking his head, "I don't want to fucking go in there."

"I swear, if you don't-"

"Remember how my family had a restaurant? How I told you it wasn't any of your business why we don't own it? Yeah, this is where the restaurant was. They just built onto it."

He Tian blinked in surprise. He had actually vaguely forgotten that Hong Fa's family had owned a restaurant. He envied him for it. Even if they no longer owned it, the life sounded far simpler than his own.

"And you don't want to go in there because...?" Hong Fa pressed. He was being a dick, he knew, but if Hong Fa didn't care to give him any more details, he wasn't going to let himself care either.

The red head's fists clenched, "Are you aware of how badly I want to punch you in the face?"

"I would love that."

He Tian entirely expected Hong Fa to storm off. But rather, the boy brushed past him and strode angrily into the store. He clearly knew what was best for his safety.

☼

Things had gone down hill quickly after they had lost the restaurant. Both his parents worked two jobs, his older sister completely left - told them she was leaving and then never spoke to them again.

And then his father started bringing home more money. Money that Hong Fa and his mother knew his father shouldn't have had, but no one questioned it because they could suddenly eat more than old chicken broth and they didn't have to worry about their electricity being shut off.

It was almost as if things could become better again. Or so Hong Fa thought, until the police were at their door and taking his father away in handcuffs. Not only had his father been sneaking money from work, but he'd been stealing supplies and information and selling them to the underground area of the city.

He wouldn't see his father for another 30 plus years. His mother and himself were left to their own devices, struggling to keep their head above water. They moved into a small one bedroom apartment that leaked rain and had roaches that ate better than they did.

His mother was the strongest woman he knew, working three jobs so he could get through high school and simply focus on it. Even then he didn't care for school anymore; about anyone at the school nor about the grades he received.

Working for He Tian wasn't terrible. He Tian was an asshole, and he scared the shit out of Hong Fa a lot of the time, but Hong Fa wouldn't quit. It paid far too well and it didn't make him feel like some sort of charity case. Even if He Tian knew, Hong Fa had the feeling that the boy wouldn't pity him - which was exactly what he wanted.

Walking around in the ridiculous store that had bought his old restaurant was slightly nauseating. What was even more nauseating was how highly priced the produce was.

He Tian seemed smug and unfazed, scrolling through his phone the majority of the time that Hong Fa gathered staple foods and ingredients for possible dishes to make over the next few days.

"I need your input on some of this shit, you know," Hong Fa told him impatiently as they examined, or rather he examined, fresh vegetables.

He Tian glanced up from his phone, and gazed at the vegetables for a few moments, "Can I stick your head under the sprinkler mist?"

He had to pause and massage his temples at that, "I don't even know what your price limit is."

"There isn't one," He Tian shrugged. "Just get whatever you want."

"I'm not getting what I want for _your_ apartment," Hong Fa said exasperatedly. "Stop being a dick and choose some shit."

He Tian childishly began grabbing vegetables, tossing them roughly into the cart without putting them into produce bags first.

"There."

"You literally act like you've never been grocery shopping in your life."

He Tian flipped up his middle finger, "I've bought cereal before."

It surprised Hong Fa a bit. The dark haired boy sounded incredibly serious, "Wait... Have you really never gone shopping for groceries."

"No. I've never gone shopping for groceries. Why do you think I brought you along?"

"Well why didn't you just send me by myself instead of coming along and annoying the shit out of me?" Hong Fa moved to get produce bags for their most likely bruised veggies.

"Because where's the fun in that?" He Tian grinned, smacking Hong Fa's ass. Hong Fa punched him in the arm.

"Cut the shit, pervert."

Thankfully, He Tian finally started paying a bit more attention after that. He supplied Hong Fa with the information that he enjoyed rice balls, chicken dumplings, and egg custard.

The amount they spent on groceries was equivalent to what Hong Fa's mother made in a week. And He Tian was completely unfazed by it.

On the way back to the apartment, carrying the majority of the groceries of course, curiosity got the best of him, "What does your family do for you to have that much money?"

"Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong," He Tian actually sounded irritated, but then he turned it around completely. "I've got several other places for your face."

He grabbed Hong Fa by the back of the neck, yanking him to bend forward, and nearly shoving the boy's face into He Tian's crotch.

"Let go, fucker!" Hong Fa dropped quite a bit of the grocery bags as He Tian laughed at his wildly reddening cheeks. "Don't be so gross!"

"Like you don't want some of this," He Tian gestured to his crotch.

"I don't."

He gathered the groceries back up, stalking forward once more. He Tian's apartment was in view, and the sooner they got there the sooner He Tian would have other things to entertain himself with instead of torturing him.

As soon as they were within 100 yards of the building, He Tian suddenly grabbed Hong Fa's elbow, not stopping him, but guiding him rather. A glance at the boy's stony face told Hong Fa that he wasn't messing around.

"Keep quiet and close to me until we're inside," He Tian said lowly.

Up ahead, two larger men stood in front of the apartment building. How had he not seen them before?

"He Tian," one of the men called out. The man was tall with a broad chest, muscled arms, and dark hair cut close to his head, but what stood out to Hong Fa the most was the sharpness of the cheek bones that appeared wildly similar to those of the boy gripping tighter onto his elbow.

The other man had half greasy blond hair that fell to his chin, and the other half of his head was shaved. Both men, much like He Tian, wore mere t-shirts, but rather than joggers they wore jeans.

"Don't you have somewhere to be, Jiefeng?" He Tian asked flatly, stopping several feet away from the two still and positioning his shoulder in front of Hong Fa.

"We came to check up on you, little brother," the blond smiled, but it wasn't one of kindness. Hearing the term brother surprised Hong Fa. If anyone was related to He Tian, he had expected it to be the man He Tian had called Jiefeng. "Who's your pal?"

"He's letting me copy his homework and he's cooking dinner. Not a friend," He Tian's tone was still more venomous than Hong Fa had heard. It was strangely disheartening to be referred to as something so minimal, however.

"Can the ginger not speak?" Jiefeng asked. "Isn't he the 'maid' you told me about? Doesn't look much like a she to me."

Upon examining Jiefeng closer, Hong Fa noticed that the man had a faint puffy bruising around his nose. Without warning, Jiefeng strode forward and grabbed at He Tian while the blond made a lunge for Hong Fa.

It all happened so fast that Hong Fa could only swing his grocery bags out in alarm before He Tian was slamming his head against Jiefeng's, efficiently bloodying his own nose but sending Jiefeng tumbling backward onto the pavement.

The blond man had grabbed Hong Fa by the collar, but with two hands around his neck, He Tian's knee lifted to dig itself into the soft area just below the man's rib cage.

It doubled him over, and just as Jiefeng started to climb back to his feet, He Tian snatched up the groceries that Hong Fa had dropped, in one hand, grabbed Hong Fa by his shirt in the other, and yanked him in front of himself as he spat out blood dripping down his face, "Sprint to my apartment door."

Hong Fa had never run so fast in his life, taking steps three at a time with He Tian hot on his heels.

"He Tian!" a voice boomed up the steps, and it drove Hong Fa to run faster.

But as he reached He Tian's door, he was immediately shoved out of the way as He Tian shoved a key into the lock with surprisingly steady hands, and then Hong Fa was yanked inside so roughly he spilled onto the hardwood floor.

Heavy footsteps had reached the top of the steps just as He Tian slammed the door closed, locking it, dead bolting it, and sliding a heavy chain across it.

He Tian wiped his nose with his palm, smearing blood all over as he huffed out, "Are you hurt?"

"Who the fuck-"

" _Are you hurt?"_

"No-"

"You're staying here tonight."

 


	3. is there somewhere

_I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight._   
_I didn't mean to fall in love tonight._   
_You're looking like you fell in love tonight._   
_Could we pretend that we're in love?_   
_-Halsey / Is There Somewhere_

_☼_

He Tian was quite literally getting blood everywhere. He dropped the groceries next to Hong Fa, who still was sprawled on the ground, and dripped his way to the sink.

"Fucking bastards," he hissed.

The red haired boy could be heard rustling behind him as he dragged the groceries into the kitchen and started digging around in the freezer. The freezer door then closed with a snick and a bag of frozen peas was deposited onto the counter next to He Tian.

"I'm not staying the night."

"Don't act like you have a choice," He Tian grumbled, staring into the sink and watching his blood drip down, spattering against the silver.

Hong Fa pulled a dishrag from a drawer, wrapping it around the bag of peas and pushing it at He Tian more forcefully, "Stop just letting it bleed everywhere, you idiot. Put this on it."

Despite the glower he gave the red head, He Tian gradually took the frozen bag of peas and rag, lifting it to his bloody face. He hissed as the cold made his nose throb, but upon tilting his head back it already felt like the bleeding was slowing.

"I suppose the nose bleed is my own fault, but I don't regret head butting that bastard. I'd actually like to do it continuously until he passes out."

Hong Fa shot a nervous glance to the door. And to think that the idiot wanted to leave, a glance down at the boy's shaking hands told He Tian that he was scared shitless. There was no way he'd even dare to go back out without He Tian.

"Who were they?"

"Unimportant."

"I'll guess I'll just go back out and ask them then."

Anger bubbled up in He Tian's throat, and he slammed the peas into the sink noisily, "By all means, please do it."

It made the red haired boy flinch, and he sighed, "Okay, so I'm not actually going out. But I deserve to know. They knew that I worked for you, they called me a maid. And you're still bleeding, put the rag back on."

"I'm aware that my nose is still bleeding."

Instead of listening to Hong Fa, he crossed his arms sullenly over his blood stained shirt, letting his nose drip freely. And then with a bold lunge that He Tian wasn't expecting, Hong Fa grabbed the rag and frozen pea bag from the sink, gripped He Tian by the back of the neck, and forcefully placed the rag back onto He Tian's nose.

Out of reflex from having his neck grabbed, He Tian grabbed Hong Fa by his red hair, yanking away and drawing his fist back to hit the boy. Hitting him out of something other than playfulness would have made He Tian feel guilty, so he thankfully caught himself, "You cannot just grab me like that unless you want a limb broken."

Hong Fa tossed the bloody rag and peas roughly at He Tian, "I was only trying to help- you know what, fuck you, I'd rather get jumped by the two bastards outside. I'm leaving. Make your own food, let your nose gush blood all over, I don't care."

Slight concern inched it's way into He Tian as Hong Fa genuinely looked like he was preparing to leave the apartment. He shouldn't have even cared if the boy wanted to walk right into the hands of the fucking mafia, wanted to get himself killed, but he did care. He cared enough to drip blood on his shag carpet as he rushed to catch the red head's arm just as the boy was moving to grab his backpack.

The boy was still skittish, cringing away as if in fear, but He Tian handed the peas and rag back and guided Hong Fa to hold it to his face, leading Hong Fa's other hand to the back of his head.

"I don't mind if you touch me. By all means, touch me..." he paused to wink, making Hong Fa flush. "I just meant don't grab me when I'm not expecting it because my first instinct is to attack you in self defense."

He Tian's words were slightly muffled by the rag he helped Hong Fa hold. He seemed hesitant, and he refused to meet He Tian's gaze

"Don't be weird..."

"You don't have to make something big tonight. I'd be fine with a sandwich. I'll even help you clean up my blood because I'm sure you don't know how to get blood stains out of the carpet."

"And you do?" Hong Fa scoffed. When He Tian simply shrugged in response, he sighed. "Fine. But you're telling me how you know those guys."

"Feed me first."

"You're unbelievable."

☼

He couldn't exactly place why seeing He Tian bleeding made him so uncomfortable. He Tian didn't necessarily seem like he was in pain, didn't seem bothered at all by the blood gushing out his nose, dripping down his chin and onto his clothes and the floor.

But it made Hong Fa wildly uneasy, so it was a massive relief when He Tian finally remained still and kept the homemade cold compress on long enough for the bleeding to stop.

With cold water, he mopped the floor up of He Tian's blood, trying his best to ignore the low thuds coming from out in the hallway. The damned men who had trapped them like rats were still waiting. The damned men that He Tian still had yet to fucking tell him about.

He Tian had disappeared off to his room to wash his face and change his clothes, of course leaving Hong Fa to stare helplessly on the blood that had dripped on the shag carpet despite having promised that he'd help.

"Fuck it," Hong Fa grumbled to himself, simply dragging the mop back to the sink and deciding to start on food.

He Tian eventually came back out, wearing navy blue and grey sweatpants. It always seemed as if he were trying to show off his well toned arms. His nose was certainly bruised, as was his forehead, and Hong Fa looked away as he felt a strange rush of sympathy.

"Hopefully my blood hasn't dried on the carpet yet, that'll make it harder to get off," he announced as he grabbed a large bowl, filling it with cold water and placing a single drop of dish soap inside. "Is there a clean sponge somewhere?"

"This is your house," Hong Fa replied curtly, slapping a few pieces of meat onto the slightly squished bread they had bought. "You tell me."

"Under the sink, perhaps," He Tian continued.

It required quite a bit of effort, but Hong Fa ignored the other boy as he fixed their sandwiches, deciding to at least toast them lightly to make up for the smushed bread. He Tian had evidentially found a clean sponge, as he had disappeared over to the shag carpet. Just as Hong Fa finished browning the bread in a pan on the stove, He Tian returned with bloody water and a smug look on his face.

"Your sandwich is on the counter," Hong Fa curled his nose up at the bowl in the taller boy's hands.

"Thanks, Carrot Head," He Tian winked.

Hong Fa hurried to the couch after that. If He Tian's winking didn't piss him off, it generally made an unwanted heat rise into his cheeks.

Like usual, He Tian came and sat himself directly near Hong Fa, but as he reached for the remote to the television, Hong Fa snatched it away.

"No, you said you'd tell me who the men outside are."

He Tian's eyebrows knitted together, and he placed his sandwich plate on his lap to grab at Hong Fa's wrists. With a quick motion the red haired boy hit the remote on his knee hard enough to make the batteries pop out, and shoved them under his leg.

"Can't I eat my sandwich first?" He Tian huffed, attempting to shove his hand under Hong Fa's thigh to retrieve the batteries. Hong Fa nearly threw his plate onto the floor trying to jerk away from He Tian's hands.

"What the fuck, just tell me and stop groping me," he said shrilly.

"You like it, don't pretend you don't,"  
He Tian laughed.

"Don't change the subject."

He Tian ignored the red head, however, giving up on the batteries and prodding lightly at the puffy skin around his nose. Hong Fa watched the boy's long fingers pick at the crust on his bread before he finally picked up the sandwich and bit into it.

"I figured you could make this decent," he said approvingly, his cheek stuffed full of food.

"He Tian."

"Carrot Head."

Hong Fa grabbed his full plate and stood, tired of sitting next to the bastard. Eating in the kitchen would be better than getting pissed off and attempting to make He Tian's nose bleed again.

He Tian surprisingly didn't object, nor did he turn on the the television. The two ate in silence, which didn't help Hong Fa's uneasiness. Any slight cream or thud made him think that the men outside were planning to break in.

If it were to happen, he would do his best to fight them alongside He Tian. He'd fought enough in his lifetime that he wasn't helpless. But he was also easily flustered, and if someone stronger than him began winning, his panicked mind no longer would think logically. He had the attitude to fight, but not necessarily the brawn or the brain to fight.

A clatter in the sink behind him nearly made him piss himself as he crushed his sandwich in his hand out of alarm.

He Tian had simply dropped his dish down into the basin, leaning against the counter as he gazed at Hong Fa.

"Could you have been any louder doing that?" he snapped.

"Probably," He Tian pursed his lips, which made the bruising on his nose stand out heavier.

Hong Fa dropped his smashed sandwich onto his plate, covering his face with his hands and sinking to the floor, "Holy shit, death might be easier than this."

Oddly enough, a body plopped down next to his. He didn't bother glancing up to see why He Tian was sitting on the kitchen floor with him, but he heard the flick of a lighter igniting and the smell of smoke filled his nostrils. 

He pulled his hands away to glance over, watching He Tian exhale smoke, a cigarette perched between his fingers. Hong Fa sucked in a deep breath before reaching over and attempting to snatch the cigarette away from him.

"What the hell-" He Tian began.

"I'm stressed the fuck out, let me have a hit."

"Smoking is bad for you."

"These are _your_ fucking cigarettes."

He Tian laughed, "Okay, fair."

He handed the cigarette over, and Hong Fa took a long drag. It burned his lungs, he had only smoked once or twice in his life, but it was satisfying, "Tell me about the assholes outside."

"I can tell you that I know them, but they're not someone I want you knowing," He Tian murmured, pressing at his puffy nose. "And I don't really want them knowing you, either."

Hong Fa passed the cigarette back, "How do you know them?"

"One is my brother. The other is an... acquaintance."

Hong Fa could have been satisfied with that information, but the men had acted far too violent for it to be simple sibling rivalry, "Do you always headbutt your brother and knee acquaintances in the stomach?"

And then in a stunning, slow movement He Tian's head dropped onto Hong Fa's shoulder, "I don't want to discuss this further. It's not safe for you."

Hong Fa didn't pull away, but rather stared at the top of He Tian's head, looked at his muscled arms. His heart was pounding erratically in his chest, "Okay..."

He Tian's head lifted, back up and his eyes locked with Hong Fa's, "I won't let them hurt you though."

The red haired boy was trying to take back control over the rolling feeling in his stomach. He couldn't allow himself to feel these things for He Tian, to feel drawn to him, to want to _touch_ him, but all of these feelings were piling upon him all at once. Only He Tian could make Hong Fa hate him one moment and feel drawn to him the next.

He could _not_ fall in love with He Tian. It wasn't logical. But it's what it felt like as He Tian's gaze lowered to Hong Fa's lips, and he carelessly tossed his cigarette into the sink.

"That's probably a fire hazard..." Hong Fa said hoarsely, trying to break his gaze away from He Tian.

Their close proximity reminded him of weeks prior, of He Tian's thumb running over his lips in a gentleness that didn't match the threat of stitching Hong Fa's mouth closed.

He Tian's hand curled around Hong Fa's wrist, "It'll be fine..."

He Tian leaned in, and Hong Fa jerked backwards, his breath catching in his throat, "What are you-"

"I want to kiss you," He Tian said lowly, scooting forward towards Hong Fa, practically leaning over him as Hong Fa leaned back. "Will you let me?"

 _Say no_ , Hong Fa screamed at himself in his mind. This bastard was always forcing him to do all the dirty work, was constantly pushing all of his buttons, and was practically holding him hostage because there were even bigger assholes outside. But He Tian also kept him heavily amused, was giving him a fairly well paying job, and had actually protected him instead of ditching him. He Tian was _currently_ protecting him.

He Tian's hand settled onto Hong Fa's cheek questioningly, smelling of peppermint and smoke, and Hong Fa's eyes fluttered closed, "Yes..."

And then warm lips were pressing against his own. They were gentle, questioning, as if despite being given permission to kiss Hong Fa, they still waited for further acceptance. It was so easy to kiss back.

Hong Fa had kissed girls once or twice, but this was far different. He Tian's lips were a little rougher, not as soft and sweet, but he felt instantly addicted to the taste and feeling anyway.

Long fingers cradled the back of his head, leaning over him further. Hong Fa had to place a hand behind to keep from being pushed to the floor, and his other hand rested on He Tian's shoulder.

Teeth nibbled on his bottom lip, and Hong Fa gasped out. It made He Tian pull back hesitantly, "Too much?"

"Uh," Hong Fa croaked. "I..."

"It's alright, I know I'm a good kisser," He Tian winked. Instead of pissing Hong Fa's scrambled brain off, it made heat flush his cheeks. "Besides, it's late and we need to make you a bed on the couch."

☼

He had never wanted to kiss someone more than he wanted to kiss the red headed boy. So when he did get to kiss him, it was everything he imagined and more. For a boy, Hong Fa had such a smooth face, such soft lips, and he tasted idly like the cigarette they had hit off of but He Tian couldn't even be bothered.

But kissing the boy wasn't something He Tian was going to let happen often. He wasn't going to get attached.

As he made a pallet for Hong Fa on the couch, playfully bickering that if Hong Fa kept saying he had to go home that he'd wake up with a shaved head, he plotted out how to distance himself from the boy. His brother loved to fuck with his life, despite the deal he'd made with his father and uncle. They'd never stay out of his life. Wenyi Siwang was his life. And he didn't want Hong Fa to be sucked into that disaster.

 


	4. i walk the line

_I find it very, very easy to be true_   
_I find myself alone when each day is through_   
_Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you_   
_Because you're mine, I walk the line_   
_-Halsey / I Walk The Line (cover)_

_☼_

Hong Fa eventually settled onto the couch bed after He Tian nearly had to use physical force.

"I have to call my mom!" he had protested.

But once he had done that He Tian refused to acknowledge all other excuses. His nerves felt fried, his fingers trembling where he had shoved them under his thighs. The dark haired boy didn't seem bothered by the fact that they had literally just kissed on his kitchen floor.

Rather, he was in the kitchen eating leftover gumbo that Hong Fa had stored in Tupperware in the fridge.

"So what time do you usually go to bed?" He Tian asked randomly, walking from the kitchen with his bowl and moving the pillow he'd loaned Hong Fa so he could sit.

"Uh... late?" Hong Fa shrugged, but a thought struck him. "What do you expect, I'm always here late cleaning up after you, fucker."

He Tian barked out a laugh, "How will you service me now that I'm keeping you even later?"

"I won't kill you in your sleep?"

He Tian chuckled, leaning so close his lips nearly touched Hong Fa's reddening cheek, "Thanks."

To make things worse, Hong Fa _wanted_ to kiss him again, wanted to taste the smoke on the boy's breath. He knew that he occasionally found boys attractive, that wasn't rare, but what was rare was wanting to act on that attraction.

"I think I want to sleep now," Hong Fa croaked.  "I'm tired."

He Tian didn't seem to notice his inner turmoil, "Generally I'd call bullshit, it's not even 11pm. But, I suppose I've made today a little stressful for you, so I'll let it slide."

Hong Fa nodded, watching He Tian get up and retreat to the bedroom with his bowl of food, "Right."

"Night, Carrot Head," He Tian called pleasantly, and then he flipped off the light, shrouding Hong Fa in darkness.

The room was silent, leaving Hong Fa's ears straining for any noise that could come from the front door across the room. Down the hall he could hear He Tian rustling around in the bathroom drawers, could hear him brushing his teeth. Something told him it would feel so nice to kiss He Tian while he tasted minty.

Yet, Hong Fa fell over on his side, pulling blankets towards his stomach at the thought. He couldn't actually be falling for an asshole like He Tian. He Tian _surely_ couldn't like him back. The boy was a flirt, it wasn't rare for him to try to seduce others, but surely he didn't just _kiss_ other people...

It was sending his brain into overdrive just thinking about it, the feeling of He Tian's lips nearly permanently etched against his. He was going to go insane. He'd lied saying he was tired, he was the furthest thing from tired.

The couch was comfortable, but the apartment was cold and Hong Fa couldn't stop tossing and turning. Around 2am, still without the slightest bit of sleep, Hong Fa got up to use the washroom and perhaps splash a bit of water on his face in attempts to calm his jittery limbs. He felt even more worked up than he had running from the two assholes who had tried grabbing him.

It had been a long while since He Tian had gone to sleep, sounds of him moving about had stopped around midnight. For whatever reason, Hong Fa was under the impression that the boy would be asleep with his door closed. Padding down the hall to the bathroom slowly, it was completely accidental when Hong Fa glanced into the open door to He Tian's room.

The boy was shirtless and in sweatpants, sprawled diagonal across a queen sized mattress. A muted tv flickered in the corner of the room, illuminating tanned skin and making dark hair and a sharp jawline seem so stunning.

Hong Fa's heart was going to beat straight out of his chest. He Tian looked far less like he could murder someone and much more gentle with his hair falling over his forehead and his long eyelashes on his high cheekbones. His bruised nose almost gave him an innocent appearance in a way. He seemed completely at peace. Or, at least until he shivered.

It was then that Hong Fa realized he could see so much of the boy because the comforter was sliding off the side of the bed, leaving He Tian exposed. Without further thought, Hong Fa crept into the room, stepping over clothes and bottles as he went. He made a mental note to clean the filthy bastard's room after school the next day as he grabbed the comforter and gently pulled it up to He Tian's shoulders.

And then hands grabbed his wrists. He let out a startled shriek as he was yanked forward, a hand covering his mouth as He Tian calmly murmured, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I was going to the bathroom," Hong Fa mumbled around the hand on his mouth.

"Hopefully not on my floor? The washroom is at the end of the hall."

"Right, I'm just really tired-" Hong Fa began instantly as He Tian's hands moved.

However fingers found their way into Hong Fa's hair, and his voice cut off as he temporarily forgot how to breathe. He Tian's voice was soft as he spoke, "You can stay here in bed with me..."

How someone could go from scaring the shit out of him to making him feel like he was melting had Hong Fa at a loss. He scrambled up and away, flushing like mad, "No I'm- sorry, go back to sleep, sorry."

He bolted from the room, tripping on bottles and clothes as he went, and He Tian called after him, "Thanks for covering me up, Carrot Head."

Hong Fa quickly peed, washed his hands, and nearly ran past He Tian's room to get back to the couch. Sharing a bed with He Tian simultaneously sounded like the most pleasant yet the most terrifying thing he could experience. And he was so fucked, because he was so tempted to go back and accept the offer. He now was most definitely not going to get any sleep.

☼

He Tian awoke to the smell of food. Vaguely he knew it was a school day, he never ate breakfast on school days, but he made his way to the kitchen anyway.

His head was pounding and his nose throbbing, but the redhead at his stove brought a smile to his face.

"Breakfast?"

Hong Fa jumped slightly, "Holy shit- uh, yeah. Baozi."

"Sounds good," He Tian hummed.

"We'll have to eat on the go," the red head said, finally turning to face He Tian.

Large bags were under the boy's eyes, and He Tian blanched, "Damn, did you sleep at all?"

"Nah," Hong Fa gave a laugh that sounded all too forced.

But, the boy would be getting much more sleep, He Tian realized with a sinking feeling, because Hong Fa didn't need to be put at risk just for He Tian. And just like that his mood was soured. Nights alone again after having the dumb red head's company were going to hurt like a bitch. Especially because all he wanted to do was kiss Hong Fa and make him blush. Maybe make him smile, but He Tian felt like too much of a sap to admit it.

It didn't necessarily matter. He'd avoid Hong Fa, Hong Fa would happily move on with his life. He was used to ending up alone.

He left Hong Fa to cook, sliding on a blue t-shirt and grey track pants. Hong Fa had cleaned up quickly, wrapping their breakfasts up in paper bags, and had his backpack already on his shoulder when He Tian came back out.

Hong Fa offered him out his food, to which He Tian took with a quiet thanks, and then he led the way out the door. Hong Fa, who usually tried to act fearless, was practically glued to He Tian's side the entire way out of the building.

"They're most likely gone," He Tian murmured to him quietly. "They have other shit to fuck with."

"Right, right," the boy's eyes were still darting around rapidly.

Once they were a good distance away from the apartment, He Tian caught Hong Fa's elbow, "Hey, listen. You don't have to come cook or clean for awhile. I'll... I'll let you know when to come back. But right now I have a few errands to run. I never go to my first class, but you better head to school."

"You're sure they aren't around?" Hong Fa genuinely looked frightened, his hands were trembling. It made He Tian's chest hurt in a strange way that Hong Fa's fear over this wasn't something he could control. Only _he_ should be able to scare the shit out of the boy.

He grabbed the boy's hand in his own free one, the one not holding his food, "Absolutely. Thanks for breakfast, Carrot Head. I'm the only one you need to worry about, get out of here before I give you a nose to match mine."

There wasn't a hint of hostility behind the threat, and it even brought a smile to Hong Fa's face.

"You wish, fucker," the boy laughed, leaning forward as if he wanted to... perhaps kiss again. "See you at school later?"

"Yeah." He Tian attempted to keep his voice light, but as he watched the red haired boy walk away, practically walk out of his life, his happy exterior dissolved as he whispered to himself. "Except you won't."

☼

He Tian was nowhere to be seen or heard all day. He'd kissed Hong Fa, flirted with him, made Hong Fa feel all sorts of stupid fucking feelings. And then he was gone. Completely avoiding him.

He had gotten He Tian's number finally the day prior, but He Tian wasn't answering his calls or texts. However, he answered Jian Yi's texts Hong Fa had discovered after momentarily worrying that something had happened to He Tian - driving him to converse with the blond asshole and his strange boyfriend that had beaten the shit out of Hong Fa before.

All of it made him furious. And to think he considered _liking_ the fucker, had made that bastard breakfast and stayed up all night thinking about him.

So, despite having been told that he had time off, as soon as the bell rang after last period Hong Fa was storming determinedly for He Tian's apartment. He was going to give the fucker a bloody lip to match his bruised nose.

Rage bubbled in him as He Tian's apartment came into view, blinding him as he marched forward. The door to the building shuddered with the force Hong Fa used to pull it open, but as he walked inside, he was far too angry to notice the two men standing in the shadows until large hands yanked him backwards before he even reached the stairs.

"Let go of me He Tian-" he snarled, the chest he was yanked into seeming familiar in shape. But the voice he heard was not.

"Try again."

And it was then that he realized he was in deep, deep shit. He bellowed out in a mix of terror and frustration, thrashing and trying to yank himself free. He swung his head back in attempts to headbutt his attacker and escape, but the man accompanying the one holding him grabbed his hair.

"Now, now," a different voice sneered, stepping into Hong Fa's view. It was the man from the day before, the one with the half shaved head. Something told him the man holding him was He Tian's brother. "If you fight we'll kill you quicker."

"What do you want?" Hong Fa croaked. "I don't have any money really but I'll give you-"

"Shut up," the flat edge of a knife blade was against his throat.

"Tell me who you are then," Hong Fa's voice had lost all strength, and his brain was screaming at him to obey the men behind him. He was completely overpowered. "Wait-  where's He Tian, what did you do to-?!"

A blow to his stomach had him hunching forward and coughing, the knife pressing harder against him. It stung a bit, but he couldn't feel blood dripping so he took it as a good sign.

"Shut _up."_ He Tian's brother snarled. Hong Fa couldn't even remember his name. "If you alert my brother I'll snap your neck."

 _"_ I highly doubt that," a third voice, _finally_ recognizable, snarled from the top of the stairway. A clicking sound followed, and the grip on him tightened towards it being almost painful.

Hong Fa's gaze snapped to see He Tian approaching slowly, a handgun clutched sturdily in his grip. A wave of relief washed over him, and not because he figured he was safe, but because He Tian was safe.

 _"_ What are you trying to do, little brother?" the man holding him laughed.

"Drop the knife and let go of him, I'm not going to hesitate to put a bullet between both of you two's eyes if you hurt him," He Tian wore the coldest look Hong Fa had ever seen on his handsome face.

"Do you think he's serious, Jiefeng?" the one with the partially shaved head asked. Jiefeng. Hong Fa would forever remember the name now.

"No," Jiefeng huffed. "He's bluffing."

A deafening bang sounded, the knife nicking Hong Fa's neck as it was yanked away in alarm, and the two men were bolting from the building as Hong Fa crumpled to the floor in fear.

His ears were ringing, but he was suddenly being yanked upwards to his knees as hands seized his face, "Are you alright?"

He could certainly hear He Tian over the ringing, as the dark haired boy was shouting, his face clouded with what looked like... Worry?

"Did you shoot me?" Hong Fa asked dumbly.

"Fuck, Carrot Head," He Tian breathed. "I shot the wall. But they cut your throat a little bit. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"No... You missed them?" his voice was hoarse.

"I never miss. What I fired was a warning shot that sent them running like the bastards they are."

"You'll have to speak a little louder," Hong Fa croaked. "I think I'm deaf now."

The other boy actually cracked a small smile at that, but frowned again as his thumb gingerly touched the skin above the cut on Hong Fa's throat, "Damn, you're so fucking stupid for coming here. I can't believe they did this to you. Well, I can but... you aren't theirs to fuck with."

"What," Hong Fa scoffed, letting He Tian's hands move from his neck, to his face, to his hair. He couldn't even be mad anymore. "I'm yours to fuck with then?"

"Yes."

The least bit of hesitation in He Tian's voice had Hong Fa speechless for a few moments, "They'll probably just find me again anyway."

"Over their dead bodies."

"I believe it's 'over _my_ dead body'."

"I know what I said."

Hong Fa smiled, but the movement of his jaw made his neck sting, "So am I going to die from this, or..."

"No," He Tian said softly, and then he was helping Hong Fa to his feet and guiding him gently with an arm around his waist. "Come on, Carrot Head. Let's get you cleaned up."

 


	5. closer

_Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you_   
_I drank too much and that's an issue_   
_But I'm okay_   
_Hey, tell your friends it was nice to meet them_   
_But I hope I never see them again_   
_-Chainsmokers ft. Halsey / Closer_

_☼_

Hong Fa sat gingerly on the arm of He Tian's couch, his head craned back as He Tian's fingers gently cleaned and examined the knife wound. He Tian had gone from relieved to seemingly angry, but the softness of his touch didn't match the hard set of his jaw. Hong Fa was quiet, as the position already didn't feel great on his cut, and he didn't figure speaking would make it better.

After his neck had been cleaned with a stinging alcohol wipe and bandaged, although Hong Fa was surprised He Tian had first aid supplies if he hardly had food, gentle fingers found their way to the back of his head and tilted his neck back to a normal position.

"I don't think you need stitches, luckily," He Tian murmured. "But you were still an idiot for coming here, you know. I told you not to."

"You ignored me all day," Hong Fa crossed his arms.

"Is that out of the ordinary?" He Tian's tone was still far more harsh than necessary.

However, it indeed was not out of the ordinary for He Tian and Hong Fa to avoid each other during the school day. In fact, Hong Fa generally _tried_ to avoid the bastard, but he had thought things had changed a bit.

"I just thought that-"

"We aren't friends, Hong Fa." It was the first time He Tian hadn't called him Carrot Head, but it didn't feel better. It wasn't even his real name, still.

"Of course, how silly of me. I'm just someone you can kiss and toss aside, right? You're such an ass," Hong Fa's fists clenched at his sides, and he fought the urge to shove He Tian back. The fucker's hand was resting on his leg.

"Is that what this is about?" He Tian sighed.

"You tell me," Hong Fa was suddenly shouting, and then he _did_ push He Tian backwards as he scrambled off the arm of the couch.

"It seems like you're confused," He Tian let the red head push him without a fight. "That kiss was just me trying to entertain myself. It didn't mean anything."

Which, okay, definitely stung Hong Fa. He recoiled as if he'd been hit. It wasn't that he had expected the kiss to be anything, it had rather confused the shit out of him, made _him_ feel something he wasn't used to feeling.

"If I don't mean anything to you then why didn't you let your brother and that other bastard slit my throat?" Hong Fa spat.

He Tian stiffened, "I never said that _you_ didn't mean anything to me."

Hong Fa blinked rapidly, momentarily dazed, "You aren't... making any sense. Am I just someone who doesn't call you out on all the ridiculous bullshit you have me do for money?"

"No."

"If you don't give me more to go off of than that then I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back in the next week when you decide you need a maid again. I won't be coming back ever again, actually. Do you want to know what I thought when those men grabbed me downstairs? I thought they hurt you. I was so ready to kill them both, it reminded me that I'm not a heartless bastard even if I want to be. Because being heartless would be a fuck ton easier if you're just going to be like the rest of the people in my life."

He Tian was giving him a blank look, and Hong Fa was prepared to punch him and make his already bruised nose bleed more.

"Let me walk you home."

"Go to hell."

Hong Fa whirled to stalk towards the door, but a hand caught his wrist and tugged him back, just roughly enough that his shoulder popped and he was spun nose to nose with He Tian, "I think I'm already there."

It left Hong Fa momentarily frozen. He could feel He Tian's warmth, smell the smell of He Tian's detergent mixed with smoke. His breath also vaguely smelled of alcohol, although Hong Fa wasn't sure how he had missed it before.

"Let me go."

He Tian obeyed, "Listen, I'm sorry. I don't know what the fuck else to do."

"You don't know how to stop being a jack ass? Clearly."

Hong Fa averted his gaze from He Tian's, and He Tian sighed, "Well there's that, too, I suppose. I meant more towards the fact that I wish I could be around you without you getting hurt."

They still remained so close together, so close that if Hong Fa so much as twitched, he would brush against He Tian, "Is that like some sort of threat?"

His voice had become so weak, his heart thudding in his chest. He hated what He Tian did to him. No, he hated that he _liked_ what He Tian did to him.

"No, Carrot Head. I'm not going to hurt you. But the people in my life would, which is why I say we aren't friends. I _want_ to be your friend. I just can't be. We can't be friends."

"Then why the fuck did you kiss me?" Hong Fa deadpanned.

"If I can walk you home I'll explain," He Tian slipped his hands into his pockets, a smug look on his face as Hong Fa scowled.

"Fine, but if you give me a bullshit I'll probably push you into traffic."

He Tian cracked a grin, one that Hong Fa had to fight back so he could stay mad at the stupid bastard, "I suppose that's only fair. I just can't promise that I won't pull you with me."

Hong Fa walked away to keep He Tian from seeing the corners of his mouth twitch up. He was no longer in control of his goddamn heart.

☼

Not many things scare He Tian. He'd been held at gun point, stabbed in the arm with a letter opener, and hit by a car. He hadn't been scared once. He could break someone's arm without a second thought, assist in busting another mafia's hideout, and although it had yet to happen, willingly kill someone.

Yet, he was completely caught off guard when he came down his apartment steps, prepared to tell his brother to fuck off to somewhere else, and found the red head with a knife to his throat. Only once before had he thought his heart was going to burst from his chest, and it just so happened to be from kissing Hong Fa.

The terror only heightened when Jiefeng and Quiang, the blond bastard from their "family", had sprinted out the door just as Hong Fa crumpled to the floor. It completely took his mind off of his ringing ears. He had yanked Hong Fa upwards, fearing the worst, thankfully finding that the skin of the boy's throat was only cut slightly.

Patching the boy  up, he was furious. Not so much at Hong Fa, although he was frustrated that the red head and came back to the apartment even after being told not to. He was more furious with himself, with his brother for hurting Hong Fa. Something far worse could have happened. Something He Tian didn't even want to think about.

To top it all off, He Tian was struggling to convince himself that he could go back to being alone again. That things were perfectly okay before Hong Fa came along and made things far more entertaining and far less lonely.

That morning when he had told Hong Fa he had errands to run, he had actually just gone back home and thrown back a few beers before sending his father a long ranting text about their fucking deal and how he wasn't supposed to be bothered while in school. He never received a response. He did, however, receive multiple texts from Hong Fa and one from Jian Yi calling him a "rat bastard".

He didn't have the heart to respond to Hong Fa. Granted, he should have, because surely the boy wouldn't have ended up trying to come after him, wouldn't have gotten hurt, and wouldn't have made himself a giant target.

There was no way in hell he'd let Hong Fa go home alone. Definitely not after Hong Fa had a knife to his throat thirty minutes before. So the two made their way from the apartment after a bit of convincing - and the awkward agreement to tell Hong Fa why he had kissed him.

The honest truth was that He Tian had kissed the red haired boy because he looked stunning with flushed cheeks, looked so good with a cigarette, _He Tian's_ cigarette, between his lips. He Tian had to taste him, feel him, be close to him. It was certainly a moment of weakness on his part, but one that he didn't at all regret. He simply regretted that it was too risky to kiss Hong Fa again.

"Alright, so tell me why you kissed me," Hong Fa demanded as they walked down the sidewalk. He was pressed rather close to He Tian, and his eyes were darting wildly around. It made He Tian glad he'd forced Hong Fa into letting him accompany him. He wouldn't let harm come to the terrified boy.

"I kissed you because I wanted to," He Tian replied simply. It wasn't a lie.

Hong Fa snorted, "I knew that much. I want to know what drove you to follow through with it."

Hong Fa picked at the bandage on his neck a bit, and in that moment He Tian decided he wouldn't fuck about. It was either spill the truth or have his stomach continue churning at the thought of Hong Fa not being _able_ to walk beside him, at the thought of the entrance to his apartment being far more bloody.

"You looked way too enticing with my cigarette between your lips," He Tian caught Hong Fa by his backpack strap, tugging him so they were chest to chest. It was something he was finding increasingly enjoyable, gazing down into brown eyes and a furrowed brow, feeling Hong Fa's warmth. "I wanted to see what you tasted like."

Hong Fa's eyes were wide, and his voice came out as a squeak, "It probably wasn't worth it..."

"It was."

"Then kiss me again."

He Tian was completely caught off guard, and he faltered for a moment. But then be ducked down a bit, just enough for his lips to reach where he wanted, and pressed a soft kiss to the bandage on Hong Fa's neck.

The boy's face was almost as red as his hair as He Tian pulled away and grabbed Hong Fa's hand to get him walking again, "So was my answer satisfying enough? Or are you going to push me into the street?"

"It'll do but I think I'll always want to push you into the street," Hong Fa responded, but he clutched back at He Tian's hand. "And... one last thing and then I'll stop bugging you about your life. Why am I in danger being your friend? If you give me some sort of Twilight vampire shit I'm out of here."

A startled laugh escaped He Tian, and he shook his head fondly, "No, Carrot Head. I'm not a fucking vampire. That's actually probably a mild situation compared to mine. I can't tell you my exact situation, but I will tell you that it's my family that's dangerous. You will never, _ever,_ meet anyone in my family. Including my brother. You'll never have to see him again."

"He seemed like _such_ a pleasant person," Hong Fa drawled, seemingly recovered from their brief moment. They were still holding hands, and He Tian wasn't complaining. It was 100% a bad idea, but he wasn't complaining.

"But since you got to grill me with questions, it's my turn," He Tian told him with a smirk.

"Fuck," Hong Fa's bottom lip pouted out. "What the hell do you want to know?"

"What did _you_ think of our kiss?"

Hong Fa blushed again, "It was alright..."

He Tian laughed, "Just alright, huh? Okay then. Next question: if I were to actually kiss you again, would you let me?"

After a long pause with only the sound of their feet scuffing the payment, "...Yes."

A quick glance at the boy's generally angry face revealed a small smile curling the corners of Hong Fa's mouth. He Tian let go of the boy's hand, instead flinging an arm around his shoulders, "Ah, Carrot Head. Remember when my presence pissed you off?"

"It still does piss me off," He Tian grumbled, but he didn't lose the small smile. "I'm just using you as a human shield in case I get jumped."

The statement triggered a small realization. Technically, as long as Hong Fa was with He Tian, He Tian could look out for him. They weren't together when Jiefeng got to Hong Fa. So He Tian reached an ultimatum with himself.

As he was running it over in his head, Hong Fa stopped them just as they reached a bus stop. He Tian frowned, "You want to take a gross bus?"

"No, my house is just down the street. You can turn back now. Thanks for walking me."

He Tian raised his eyebrows, "Am I not allowed to see where you live then?"

"I'd rather you not."

"I never got to finish asking all the questions I wanted," He Tian pressed. "If you want to continue being employed by me I'm going to need to know more about you, Hong Fa."

"For starters, I guess I can tell you that Hong Fa isn't my real name," the boy shrugged. "It's Mo Guanshan."

"Bullshit."

"No, I'm serious. I just have everyone including my mother call me Hong Fa because people used to make fun of Guanshan."

He Tian frowned. He had definitely considered making fun of it, but the thought of other people making fun of the boy angered him a bit, "Well... What would you prefer I call you?"

"Don't think you're special, you have to call me Hong Fa like everyone else," the boy smirked, and He Tian stepped close.

"How about Carrot Head?" he breathed. "I'll just call you Carrot Head."

"Fuck you."

He Tian watched as the boy swallowed hard. He smoothed Hong Fa's bandage back down gently, giving him a light shove backwards, "You wish, Carrot Head. Now get home. I'm not leaving this spot until I see you walk into your house."

"Don't try to follow me, I'll chop your balls off," Hong Fa warned. It certainly wasn't a denial of He Tian's prior statement, and it amused the dark haired boy.

"Wait, I want you to meet me here tomorrow and I'll walk you to school," He Tian replied.

"So you plan on coming tomorrow?" Hong Fa lifted an eyebrow. "Or am I going to have to literally risk my neck to come find you?"

"I'll be here," He Tian assured. "If you want, that is. You can choose; I can leave you alone and you'll never hear from me again, or we can be friends and you're stuck with me because I'm not going to let anyone in my... family... fuck with you."

Hong Fa was quiet, picking at a string on his backpack strap, "I... I would like to be friends. But don't think that means I won't beat the shit out of you if you piss me off."

He Tian grinned wildly, his heart thudding strangely in his chest. The boy in front of him was without a doubt his favorite person to be around, "Same to you then, bastard."

"See you here tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, Carrot Head."

 


	6. gasoline

_You can't wake up this is not a dream_   
_You're part of a machine_   
_You are not a human being_   
_With your face all made up living on a screen_   
_Low on self esteem so you run on gasoline_   
_-Halsey / Gasoline_

_☼_

He Tian was at the bus stop nearly two hours before school was to start. It was the earliest he'd been up in quite a long time, and the stupid red head wasn't answering his goddamn phone. Granted, they had gone to bed rather late texting, as He Tian had asked Hong Fa how to make rice pudding and had been heavily ridiculed for it. He didn't, however, scald the rice to the bottom of the pot like Hong Fa had said he would.

The fall morning was bitter, hinting quite obviously that winter was closer than summer had once been. He Tian's breath was clouding with each exhale, and goose-pimples had long since formed on his arms. His black track pants and black tee did little to protect from cold.

It was eerily quiet down the street, and not a single bus had even driven past the stop. Hong Fa lived in what was known as a less wealthy part of time. Not quite poverty level, but rather close. Normally He Tian wasn't one to judge, but being up before the sun put him on edge, but he wasn't aware of a part of town that bus avoided and it was pissing him off.

Finally, however, a bang sounded from down the street and the red head was shuffling his way into view. As he came closer, He Tian could see him fumbling to zip his white jacket up, fixing his backpack strap and shivering. His neck, however, was missing the bandage.

He Tian stuffed his own hands in his pockets, lifting his eyebrows as Hong Fa finally reached him, "It took you long enough to get out here."

"Fuck off. I'd still be sleeping if you hadn't called me like six times."

The boy's brows were furrowed, and He Tian was excited to pester him the entire walk to school, "It was either you lose sleep or I lose my balls. It's fucking cold."

He moved to pull out a cigarette, slung an arm around Hong Fa's shoulder, and practically dragged the boy forward so he could look at him better. Hong Fa snorted, "Maybe if you wore a jacket, shit for brains, you wouldn't be cold."

"Only pussies wear jackets in the fall," He Tian remarked pleasantly, pinching Hong Fa's sleeve fabric. "Now, why the hell did you take your bandage off?"

"I had to shower last night," Hong Fa pushed He Tian back a few steps. "Now stop bugging me so early in the morning or I'll worsen that bruise on your nose."

He Tian only laughed as Hong Fa stalked past him, starting down the sidewalk to head to school. Once again, he stepped up alongside the red head, finally perching his cigarette between his lips, shielding it from the wind, and lighting it.

"I think I might have given you competition when it comes to cooking rice pudding," he hummed, blowing smoke against the gray sky.

"Hmm."

"Just call me the stovetop master," He Tian continued, throwing his arm around Hong Fa. "I put stuff on the stovetop and then forget about it. It takes real talent, you know."

Hong Fa scoffed, "You scalded it, didn't you?"

"No, fucker, I didn't," He Tian gave Hong Fa's hair a playful tug, immediately getting his arm shoved off Hong Fa's shoulders in the process.

"My threat of pushing you into the street still stands."

When they finally arrived at school, He Tian spotted Jian Yi sleepily eating a hashbrown in the main courtyard. Zhan Zheng Xi was beside him, scrolling through his phone. Both were perfectly distracted for He Tian to strike. In a sudden sprint forward he abandoned Hong Fa to dart behind the two on the bench. The red head called out in confusion, but it was too late.

He Tian leaped onto the back of the bench, landing with his feet near both of Jian Yi's shoulders, "Did you miss me yesterday?"

"Fuck!" Jian Yi yelped, his hashbrown smacking Zhan Zheng Xi in the cheek as the lighter blond propelled himself upward and away from He Tian.

"Jesus, He Tian," Zhan Zheng Xi sighed, wiping grease from the hashbrown off his cheek. He stuck his leg out, however, to keep Jian Yi from charging at the dark haired boy.

"I'll take that as a yes," He Tian laughed. "I got a little caught up yesterday, so I decided to skip."

Jian Yi scowled, "I didn't even notice your absence until Red asked me about you. Why don't you go pester him."

"He's right over-" He Tian moved to point to where he had left Hong Fa on the sidewalk, but the boy was gone. He frowned. How extremely rude of the red haired fucker not to wait. "I pestered him the whole way to school, I needed a fresh and unsuspecting target."

Zhan Zheng Xi stood, gathering both his and Jian Yi's things, and his eyes flickered to He Tian in what almost seemed like a silent statement to back off. Never before had Zhengxi showed signs of jealousy before - it mildly amused He Tian, but at the same time he knew just how gone Jian Yi _was_ for Zhengxi. And since he considered Jian Yi to be an acquaintance, it only made sense if he helped him earn the man he wanted.

"We should get to class, Jian Yi," Zhan Zheng Xi said gently, guiding the glaring blond away by the elbow. He did nod at He Tian as they walked away, but it was clear he was trying to get Jian Yi away from He Tian's flirtatious behavior.  Jealousy was a foreign concept to He Tian. He never  got jealous.

But he sighed, stretching his arms above his head, his nose aching as the cold made it burn and itch. It was unlike him to attend his first class, but it was far too cold to hang outside and smoke, so he set off for the school in search of the red head that had been accompanying him.

 _☼_   

Hong Fa didn't want to be as mad as he was. He didn't want to be fuming over the fact that He Tian, that fucker, had darted away from him to see _Jian Yi_. Of all people he had gone to see the over hyper bastard that probably still wanted to fight Hong Fa. He actively avoided He Tian because of how pissed off he was. It was only at lunch time that He Tian cornered him in the courtyard.

"Carrot Head," He Tian sighed. "Are you... thinking about taking back what you said and staying away from me after all?"

"No," Hong Fa spat. "Although I should because you're an ass, now get the fuck out of my face."

He Tian didn't listen, he simply walked the boy forward, pressing him against the wall Hong Fa had been sulking against.

"Hmm," He Tian murmured. "Why don't I get _closer_ to your face instead?"

Hong Fa's face reddened, and he turned his face away, "Just go try to fuck Jian Yi or something."

"Tempting," He Tian laughed. "But he likes Zhan Zheng Xi, and believe it or not, I don't force people to have sex with me even if I am fucked up."

"Who said you were fucked up?" Hong Fa sullenly met He Tian's gaze, his eyes narrowing.

"I did."

He finally pushed He Tian backwards, "You just completely forgot that I existed this morning so why are you remembering now?"

He Tian lifted his eyebrows, seizing Hong Fa's chin and tilting his head back so that they were forced to hold each other's gaze, "What are you talking about? Did you see me walking Jian Yi to school this morning? I don't think so. So just chill the fuck out. We're friends. We aren't dating. We don't own each other."

Hong Fa yanked away, sulking off away from the bastard. He Tian drove him insane. How had the bastard known that it was jealousy that was making Hong Fa so mad? He didn't give a shit. He didn't care. And he didn't definitely know why his skin burned where He Tian had touched him, or why he was semi-hard in his pants.

_☼_

Jealousy, especially jealousy coming from Hong Fa, had him bewildered. Who in their right mind would willingly be jealous that his attention was not on them? He had dealt with girls being slightly jealous, but he was never _close_ to girls. Granted, he couldn't exactly be considered close with Hong Fa either. He didn't consider a single thing about himself vaguely likable. There was a reason he was alone all the time. And so learning that the red haired boy had been jealous made He Tian panic. It triggered strange emotions inside. Almost... guilt. He rarely felt guilt. So he had lashed out. 

It didn't exactly help his case. The stupid feeling of guilt only intensified as Hong Fa walked away from him. He let him go, however, as his phone began buzzing in his pocket. His fingers struggled to pull his phone out, and as he glance at the screen, he was half tempted to shove the phone away again. And yet he answered it.

_"Father."_

_"He Tian. Your uncle spoke to me about your message."_

His grip tightened on the phone, _"If my brothers show up and bother me again, I won't hesitate to put a bullet through their skulls."_

_"Don't play innocent. They've informed me what you're doing. You're meant to be going to school, He Tian. That's the deal. No relationships outside of  Wenyi Siwang."_

_"He cleans my house,"_ He Tian spat over the line. If he gripped the phone any harder he risked shattering it. _"The deal was that you completely leave me out of everything related to Wenyi Siwang until I finish school. If I can get a job after-"_

_"Laughable. You're going to be part of our family whether you like it or not, He Tian. You were born into it and you'll be in it until you die. There won't be a job after school. You're just like the rest of us, so lose this ridiculous dream of yours."_

He Tian lost his voice, but it didn't matter. The line went dead anyway as his father hung up the phone. The dark haired boy promptly slammed his fist into the brick wall.

 


	7. hurricane

_Oh, baby, beggin' you to save me_  
_Well lately, I like 'em crazy_  
_Oh, and baby, you could devastate me_  
_-Halsey / Hurricane_

_☼_

Hong Fa didn't see He Tian until after school. He was stupidly furious still, standing in the courtyard with his "friends" as they talked about random models. He had no mind for it at all, zero interest in the random women they discussed. Rather, his mind kept flickering to He Tian's smug smile. Or the way He Tian's hands had felt as they gently patched up Hong Fa's throat.

He had certainly been asked about the decent sized cut on his throat. Several of his posse had tried to prod at it, and he promptly had punched them. It wasn't anyone's fucking business.

"Why is _he_ coming over here," a shaved head boy named Ren, one of the most obnoxious of the group Hong Fa stayed around, suddenly sneered. It pulled Hong Fa from his thoughts, and he turned to see He Tian making his way over.

"How's it going, fellas?" He Tian's hands were shoved in his pockets, and he wasn't looking at the others despite speaking to them. His gaze was set firmly on Hong Fa.

"Get lost," Ren scoffed. If Hong Fa remembered correctly, he'd been at the lunch table when He Tian had sent everyone scattering.

With a simple large hand over Ren's face, He Tian pushed the boy aside, "I'm just here for Carrot Head."

The other's backed off instantly, but Ren had turned a bright shade of red. He Tian wasn't paying any attention to the fact that Ren was reeling his fist back behind He Tian. He Tian was far too busy stepping towards Hong Fa, but Hong Fa saw.

He strode forward, his own fist forming tightly. He Tian looked mildly surprised, lifting up a hand in confusion. Hong Fa ducked around He Tian, however, driving his fist into Ren's stomach at the same time Ren's fist nearly connected with He Tian's head.

He Tian turned in surprise, "Oh. That's interesting. Are you ready to go, Carrot Head, or are you staying to play longer?"

Hong Fa angrily fixed his backpack onto his shoulders, grabbing He Tian's arm and marching away. The group of boy's behind him were left staring in shock as He Tian allowed himself to be pulled along, pleasantly waving goodbye to them.

As they exited the school gates, Hong Fa released He Tian, "I just saved your skull, you know."

"Thanks," He Tian said absentmindedly. "I'm a bit distracted at the moment."

He Tian moved to run a hand through his hair, and that's when Hong Fa noticed. Blood. Blood covered the back of He Tian's hand, coated his knuckles. Hong Fa seized He Tian's wrist without a second thought, yanking it closer to himself.

"What the _fuck_?" Hong Fa hissed. "What did you do?"

He Tian not so gently pulled his hand back, "Its my own blood, chill out."

"That doesn't make it better!"

"Just letting you know I didn't kill anyone," He Tian mumbled. Hong Fa realized the boy was looking around anxiously as they walked. He was _more_ than distracted. Something was wrong.

Hong Fa stopped He Tian with a hand on the boy's firm chest. Beneath his hand, He Tian was trembling. Something was _more_ than wrong.

"You're shaking," Hong Fa croaked. He didn't remove his hand from He Tian's chest.

"Well what'd'ya know?" He Tian said quietly. "I am."

All fake smiles were gone. He Tian's eyes looked dull, lifeless. And Hong Fa _hated_ it.

"We're taking a bus back to my house," Hong Fa seized He Tian's wrist. "And I'm going to clean your hands."

"I can clean my own-"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Well."

They didn't have to wait long for a bus, and He Tian annoyed the shit out of Hong Fa by paying for the bus fare before Hong Fa could dig out his wallet. Hong Fa took the window seat, his view of the aisle being blocked as He Tian lowered himself down next to him.  All Hong Fa could focus on was He Tian's bruised and bloody hand.

"What did you do to make your hand match your nose?" Hong Fa eventually croaked.

"Hands," He Tian lifted his other hand up from his side to show it looked similar. "Plural."

"Jesus Christ."

"I punched a wall a few times," He Tian said quietly.

"Why?" Hong Fa demanded.

"Because."

They didn't talk for the rest of the bus ride. When they got off at the stop near Hong Fa's house, He Tian seemed prepared to leave until Hong Fa gripped his arm tight, "No. My mother works late tonight so she won't grill us with questions. Come get your knuckles cleaned."

"You'd be home alone otherwise?" He Tian signed.

"You're unbelievable."

Hong Fa pulled He Tian most of the way before He Tian obviously grew curious. Hong Fa was vastly embarrassed for He Tian to see his house. It was tiny, wedged between to houses that were burnt orange, and it itself was brick with green window shutters. Not exactly flattering. The front porch desperately needed swept, but He Tian hummed as Hong Fa led him up the steps and fumbled with the key to unlock the door.

"Quaint."

"You don't have to lie," Hong Fa scoffed. "It's not a studio apartment, that's for sure."

Hong Fa led the way in onto dusty wood floors. It was tidy, of course, his mother made sure of that. The television had been left on, and Hong Fa switched it off before motioning He Tian to the doorway immediately to his right upon entering the house - the kitchen.

"You should give me a tour," He Tian hummed. Hong Fa practically shoved him the rest of the way into the kitchen and sat him in a chair.

He had to retrieve a first aid kit from under the stairs, but then he set to work cleaning up He Tian's knuckles. The boy didn't even wince when Hong Fa gently dabbed at the broken open skin and scabs with an alcohol wipe. Hong Fa glanced up at He Tian to find eyes gazing back at him behind long lashes. It made his heart beat faster.

☼

It was beyond him, why he allowed himself to be around Hong Fa after the phone call from his father. Granted, they wouldn't know where Hong Fa lived. Yet.

If anything were to happen to the red haired boy crouched near his feet, cleaning his hands... if anything happened to him at _all_. Because of He Tian.

He swallowed hard, his fingers twitching slightly as he felt the trembles in his shoulders fighting to return. He thought he had lost those on the bus, comforting himself with the warmth of Hong Fa close to him.

Just this morning the stupid boy had been jealous that He Tian had abandoned him to see Jian Yi. It was so... _simple._ He Tian wanted that for Hong Fa. He wanted Hong Fa _safe._ He'd never felt anything like it before, had never felt such an insane desire to _protect_ someone, to make them smile.

With a trembling, but clean thanks to Hong Fa, He Tian reached out and placed his hand on the side of Hong Fa's face. The boy froze, his head snapping up from where he was cleaning He Tian's other hand.

Their eyes met, and Hong Fa's face flushed from his forehead down to his cut neck, nearly as red as his hair, "You're... you're shaking again."

"I want you safe," He Tian blurted. Never _ever_ was he flustered, but in that moment...

Hong Fa was silent for a moment, his lips parting slightly in a sharp exhale, "Something tells me you're in more danger than I am."

"If only you could save me," _what am I saying??_ He Tian was losing his mind.

And then suddenly, Hong Fa was straddling him in the kitchen chair, hands gripping his hair as lips shoved against his own. He Tian's groaned, which seemed to make Hong Fa kiss him harder, the boy's hands beginning to wander down his face, to his shoulders and back as Hong Fa sucked He Tian's bottom lip into his mouth.

He Tian let his body take over, surging up as well to kiss back just as fervently. Hong Fa tasted so _good,_ like cinnamon and peaches, and He Tian had to slip his tongue into Hong Fa's mouth to taste him better. Hong Fa allowed it, his own tongue slipping between He Tian's lips as he gave a small whimper that shot straight to He Tian's dick. _Fuck_ he was hard in his pants, the red haired boy would most certainly feel it with how he was perched on his lap.

But then Hong Fa was pulling back, and He Tian moved his hands from Hong Fa's tousled hair to swipe a bit of saliva from Hong Fa's lip.

"I could save you," Hong Fa whispered. "We could save each other..."

"We could," He Tian's throat was tight. He'd never noticed just how _beautiful_ Hong Fa was, even in the shirty fluorescent lighting of the red head's kitchen. "We could."

 _We couldn't._ And although He Tian was incredibly tolerable to all forms of pain, the thought of losing the boy on his lap hurt _so, so bad._


	8. haunting

_'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak_   
_And I've tried to wash you away_   
_But you just won't leave_   
_So won't you take a breath and dive in deep_   
_'Cause I came here so you'd come for me_   
_I'm begging you to keep on haunting_   
_-Halsey / Haunting_

_☼_  
  
Hong Fa opened cabinet after bare cabinet, his brow furrowed. He Tian had remained close by after Hong Fa had slid off of his lap. It had been quite obvious that He Tian had been turned on by their kissing. Hell, Hong Fa had been turned on, he just had no clue how to move further. That and they still had several things to discuss.

"Watch your head," Hong Fa instructed as he closed the cabinets. "This would probably be simpler if you sat down and got out of my way."

He Tian gave Hong Fa's hair a playful tug, but used the close proximity to kiss Hong Fa's temples. Hong Fa's cheeks reddened considerably.

"Just curious, Carrot Head. What can you make from a bag of outdated rice and a can of tomato purée?" He Tian pursed his lips, reopening a cabinet and running a finger over the dusty inside.

Hong Fa sheepishly scratched at his head, "Uh, what if I buy take away? My last paycheck from you paid our bills and my mother paid for groceries, but... it's the end of the month again so we're, uh, really tight on funds and-"

Hong Fa moved to check the nearly empty refrigerator again. He Tian of course might be used to having empty cupboards just because he didn't know what to fill them with. But He Tian always had the funds, always had money for food.

An arm curled around Hong Fa's waist, pulling him away from the fridge and against He Tian. The taller boy was looking at Hong Fa with a look that could only be one of concern. It was a rare look on a the generally smug face.

"What do you do if you aren't eating with me and you don't have groceries?"

"I don't eat or I eat what I can," Hong Fa mumbled, refusing to meet He Tian's gaze. It was wildly embarrassing to him. "It's been that way for years now, so-"

"What if," He Tian interjected. "I take you to buy groceries?"

"I don't think I have enough for groceries."

"That's why _I'll_ be buying them, idiot. Use your carrot brain."

Hong Fa abruptly pulled away, "He Tian, no. I won't let you do that, you can't treat me like a some sort of charity case. We don't take handouts."

"Not for you then, but for me," He Tian pressed, reaching again for Hong Fa. Hong Fa struggled to think clearly when He Tian was touching him. "You wouldn't want to starve _me_ would you?"

"There's plenty of food at your apartment."

He Tian slipped closer and closer, pressing their foreheads together, and Hong Fa was already searching out He Tian's lips with his own, but He Tian simply chuckled, "What about when I visit here? Can I keep food here for when I visit?"

"No," Hong Fa managed to breathe, and He Tian laughed.

"Stubborn bastard. Not many people get away with telling me no."

He Tian brushed his lips once against Hong Fa's, and Hong Fa reddened once more, "Yeah but I see you for the weak fucker that you really are."

"Weak, hmm?" He Tian hummed. He released Hong Fa finally, gingerly fixing the bandage on his busted knuckles, and then he was exiting the kitchen. Hong Fa frowned.

"Where are you going?" The sound of the front door opening was the only answer, and Hong Fa stalked after the dark haired boy. "He Tian-"

"I'm getting you groceries and you can't stop me."

Hong Fa scowled, "I'll kick your ass if you do, He Tian, I swear."

"If you don't come with me I'll just be obligated to buy anything I see. I'm not decent at shopping."

The redhead blanched, but knew He Tian wasn't joking. He would most definitely buy far more than necessary.

" _Fuck_ you."

"Eventually, I'm hoping," He Tian replied pleasantly. "Grab your jacket."

Hong Fa swore again. But he grabbed his jacket and keys and followed a beaming He Tian out the front door, locking it behind him.

☼

_We could save each other._

There wasn't much left that could be done to save He Tian, truthfully. But he could still protect Hong Fa. It was far too late to try to cut Hong Fa out of his life without hurting both of them as a result. Hong Fa could help He Tian by keeping him sane.

Sane enough. Hong Fa certainly made him feel emotions he tried to avoid; fear, guilt, sorrow. Learning that Hong Fa skipped meals because of low funds made He Tian's chest ache in a way he refused to admit. Instead, he forced Hong Fa into letting him buy as much as possible.

"Bread?"

"Fine."

"Broccoli, carrots, celery..."

"Fine..."

"Egg custard tarts."

"No. Put them back."

He Tian got them anyway. He ended up spending more on Hong Fa than he had himself, but he wouldn't let Hong Fa see the price that it all rang up to. The redhead didn't need to know, and He Tian was just assured by the fact that his boy... the boy... wouldn't be going hungry.

It was growing dark out when they boarded the bus with their arms full of groceries, the sky hinting towards rain. He Tian insisted that Hong Fa tuck himself into the window seat once more, and Hong Fa reluctantly obeyed.

Hong Fa set some of his groceries onto his lap to blow warm air into his hands. He Tian noticed, reaching to grab Hong Fa's with his own. The pale slender fingers certainly were freezing, and He Tian squeezed them gently, pulling their hands to tuck under his thigh.

"Your hands are so cold because you're weak," He Tian teased quietly, just loud enough for Hong Fa to hear.

Hong Fa rolled his eyes, but he didn't pull his hand away. Instead, he glanced nervously to He Tian, "So we hold hands, we kiss... and we're still just friends?"

He Tian was slightly taken aback. It wasn't a conversation he expected to happen so soon.

"What would you say we were?" He Tian murmured.

"Despite the fact that you drive me fucking insane... I wo- I would like to be more than just friends," the redhead tripped over several of his words, but he locked his blue eyes with He Tian's silver eyes.

He Tian swallowed hard. His instinct was to make a snide remark, but instead he forced back the nervousness and sided for honesty, "I've never had anything more, I've never even had a friend. You'll have to bear with me while I figure things out."

"I'm new to this, too," Hong Fa sounded relieved. "So... for now, we can just say that we're dating."

"I like that," He Tian nodded. And he couldn't handle the awkward, tense conversation any longer. "Smartest idea you've had yet, Carrot Head."

Hong Fa smiled, a smile that made He Tian's stomach flip strangely, "You're such an asshole."

In He Tian's pocket, his phone buzzed. He momentarily released Hong Fa's hand in confusion to pull it out and glance at it. And his heart dropped. There was _no_ reason his father would be calling again. But yet...

He shoved his phone back onto his pocket. All happiness was always taken from him by his father. By the mafia. He wouldn't let them take Hong Fa away. He _refused._ With a slight tremble to his hand, one he hoped the red head didn't notice, he took Hong Fa's hand back into his own. He hid the shaking by sticking their hands back under his thigh.   
☼

He Tian didn't let go of Hong Fa's hand as they exited the bus at the stop near Hong Fa's house. A light drizzle had started, and the two hurried back to the small house and into the dry warmth. Surprisingly enough, He Tian tried helping put groceries away even though he was absolutely useless.

Hong Fa ended up shooing him to sit down in a kitchen chair so he could get something done. He made them a warm broth that he filled with egg, celery, and potato, and He Tian practically devoured it.

"I've never met someone who has made better food than you, Carrot Head," He Tian declared. "My boyfriend is the best chef."

Hong Fa blushed madly, "Shut up..."

_Boyfriend._

"No, I'm serious," He Tian showed Hong Fa his empty bowl. "Have you considered it as a future occupation?"

"I have."

"You have my blessing."

Hong Fa gave He Tian a light kick from where they sat at the kitchen table, but he glanced at the clock on the wall.

"You should head home before it gets too late."

"I'm not scared of the dark, you know," He Tian chuckled. "Not much could hurt me. People who are out in the dark are scared of _me."_

"Don't flatter yourself, you're not that scary," Hong Fa stood, taking his and He Tian's bowl to the sink.

However, Hong Fa jumped as arms slipped around his waist and a mouth pressed to the side of his neck, "Oh?"

"You're weak and spineless."

Hong Fa was off his feet in an instant, the bowls crashing into the sink as He Tian carried Hong Fa over his shoulder into the living room. He was dropped onto the couch, sprawled on his back, and He Tian pounced on top of him.

"Stop squirming," He Tian laughed. "Don't elbow me."

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

The redhead was attempting to thrash from He Tian's grip as the larger boy rolled them onto their sides, but finally He Tian settled behind him, his chest warm and firm against Hong Fa's back as strong limbs clung tightly to him.

"Cozy."

"You're supposed to be leaving," Hong Fa grumbled, but he hadn't realized just how cold and damp he was until He Tian's warmth was enveloping him.

"I'll get there," He Tian assured. His long arm released Hong Fa just long enough to reach for the remote from the side table. He flipped on the small television across the room, and then he was nuzzling his face against Hong Fa's neck.

"When the fuck did you get so cuddly?" Hong Fa huffed. He wasn't necessarily complaining, but he was certainly caught off guard.

"I've always been this cuddly. You've just never let me cuddle you. I could feel how cold you were in the kitchen so I'm staying here until you're warm."

Hong Fa could feel the vibrations of He Tian speaking against his back, and he actually was surprisingly comfortable where he was. He was well fed, warm, and He Tian, of all people, felt so incredibly safe to Hong Fa.

"Fine. We'll watch one basketball game or something. But then you _have_ to leave."

"Sure," He Tian agreed, cuddling Hong Fa impossibly closer and kissing the boy's reddening cheek.

Hong Fa gave a small smile. It wasn't anything he knew he wanted, having He Tian cuddle him... but it was something he was looking forward to happening far more often.

☼

He Tian didn't care that his father, his brother, or one of the members of Wenyi Siwang could be waiting for him. He'd watched for them frantically ever since they'd exited the bus, and he hadn't caught a glimpse of anyone. Still, he wasn't willing to leave Hong Fa alone quite yet.

So when the redhead was relaxing against his chest, quiet snores beginning to reverberate from him, He Tian simply held tighter. It was nearly peaceful, Hong Fa breathing deeply against him. But He Tian was too nervous to relax.

It would most likely be a mistake, dating Hong Fa. But He Tian was selfish. He couldn't deny himself the need to kiss the boy, hold the boy, call him his _boyfriend._

_If Wenyi Siwang knew they'd take him from me, they'd make me suffer._

He Tian pressed his face into the sweet smelling red hair, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever happens but I'm going to keep you safe."

The boy only stirred slightly, his pale fingers curling around He Tian's wrist where He Tian's arm rested against Hong Fa's chest. It made He Tian's heart clench.

But then, the doorknob across the room in the entryway was rattling, and He Tian was on high alert. His body was tense, prepared to flip Hong Fa towards the back of the couch and shield the boy with his body.

A red headed woman in a blue dress and a brown jacket entered the room, her back to the two on the couch as she locked the front door, "Guanshan, are you awake?"

She turned back to the couch, and as her eyes fell on the two on the couch her purse clattered to the floor. He Tian lifted up a single hand, whispering over the still sound asleep Hong Fa, "Hello. I'm He Tian, and I should probably explain myself."

 


	9. hold me down

_Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine_  
_I'm helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine_  
_They rush me_  
_Telling me I'm running out of time_  
_They shush me_  
_Walking me across a fragile line_  
_(Hold Me Down / Halsey)_

_☼_

"Ma..." Hong Fa sighed for the tenth time. "Ma,  I'm sorry I didn't-"

"I want you to trust me, Guanshan!" the redheaded woman was frantically pacing. "You've never even mentioned a boy and I suddenly come home to find you necking on my couch with this... how old even are you?"

"Leave him out of this," Hong Fa huffed. His eyes were still a little puffy from his short sleep, and He Tian found it quite endearing. He had been shoved to the corner of the couch, however, Hong Fa sitting on the opposite end looking ashamed.

The redhead had awoken at the choking sound his mother had made upon He Tian's greeting. He'd rocketed up, his eyes wild, and would have fallen off the couch had He Tian not been holding onto his waist.

"Okay," Hong Fa's mother sucked in a deep breath. "I'm going to allow you to explain, Guanshan, and don't you dare lie to me."

Hong Fa was scratching awkwardly at the back of his head, and He Tian considered speaking for him before the boy shrugged, "He's been a friend of mine for about a month now. He needed someone to clean his apartment, so I've been doing it for him and that's where my money has been coming from."

" _Guanshan-"_

"I was going to tell you but I didn't want you to make a big deal out of it!"

"Are you two... _intimate?"_

"Ma!" and He Tian thought that _he_ could make Hong Fa's face red, but the boy's mother certainly won the prize.

"Are you at least using protection?" she pressed.

He Tian chewed at his thumb nail to hide his smirk as Hong Fa buried his face into his hands, "We... we aren't having sex, Ma."

"But you're dating?"

At that, Hong Fa fell silent. He did, however, turn his gaze to He Tian. The dark haired boy took it as Hong Fa asking for assistance, for an answer. Ideally, it would be safe for Hong Fa's mother to know. Of course, if she were to tell someone who was somehow affiliated with Wenyi Siwang... not that it was likely that she herself knew of the gang, but He Tian's thoughts were suddenly running wild.

"Just friends."

It was said at the exact moment that Hong Fa mumbled, "Yeah, we're dating."

There was an awkward pause, and He Tian saw the momentary look of hurt and confusion that Hong Fa directed his way before his nose scrunched, "Dating. Right. I wasn't sure what we were telling people."

"Guanshan... I told you when you were younger that I'd be open to any friend or significant other you brought home and I don't intend to go back on that promise," his mother said slowly. "But I do wish that you would have just given me a bit of a warning."

"I just didn't want you to worry," Hong Fa looked down at his hands. "He Tian is a good guy. He's actually who patched my neck up when I... cut it on that fence."

Hong Fa's mother walked to where Hong Fa was seated on the edge of the couch, cupping his face in her hands, "He should have taken you to get stitches... but maybe I'm being too overbearing. If you trust him, I'll trust you."

"Thank you," Hong Fa breathed a huge sigh of relief. "He's a busy guy so he probably won't be over here much."

He Tian was slightly surprised by the statement. He much rather preferred the small house over his larger and much more known about studio apartment.

"Oh, but I can always make time for you, my dear!" He Tian cooed, scooting towards Hong Fa with arms outstretched.

"He Tian, is it?" Hong Fa's mother asked as the redhead held He Tian away from him with a hand on the boy's chest. "Call me Seonigmi."

"Mrs. Seonigmi?"

"If you wish," she nodded. "Now. Guanshan, is He Tian staying the night?"

The urge to irritate Hong Fa crept over He Tian, and he grinned largely, "Yeah, _baby_ , am I staying the night?"

A deep scarlet flush washed over Hong Fa's features, "No. You're going home. And don't call me baby."

Mrs. Seonigmi frowned, "Guanshan! It's dark, cold out, and likely to rain more soon. He Tian is more than welcome to stay."

"He's right, ma'am," He Tian waved a hand. "I should head home. Maybe I can catch a bus if I head out now."

He Tian stood and stretched, and Hong Fa stood as well, "I'll walk you to the bus stop."

"Don't be stupid, you'll walk me off the porch and that's it," He Tian scoffed, but he held a hand out politely to the blonde woman. "It was a pleasure to meet you. I'll see you soon, I'm sure. Sorry for the surprise meeting."

"It was nice to meet you as well..." the woman murmured, and He Tian could feel her gaze on them as they walked for the door. He Tian pulled Hong Fa's jacket from a small coat hanger and shoved it at the boy.

"Put this on, dummy."

In response, Hong Fa simply shoved the boy out the door, shutting it behind them with a click, "So are... we together? You told my mother-"

"We are," He Tian pulled Hong Fa close by the elbow, his other hand moving to stroke over the boy's jaw. "I'm just worried about letting people know. It could be dangerous. Granted, I wouldn't let anything happen to you, but still."

"My mother is trustworthy," Hong Fa sighed.

"Alright. You still aren't wearing your jacket, _Guanshan,"_ He Tian snickered.

"Don't call me that. But you take the jacket," Hong Fa held it out. "You're the one walking to the bus stop."

"Walking home," He Tian corrected, but his heart was doing strange things. The boy in front of him was so fucking... endearing? He wasn't sure if that was the word he wanted, but he _really_ liked him.

"It's starting to rain, what the fuck do you mean you're walking home?"

"Worried about me, Carrot Head?" He Tian cocked his head, giving the boy a smug smile.

"No..." Hong Fa huffed. "But maybe my mother was right, you should stay."

It truly was tempting. He Tian could only imagine what it would be like to climb into Hong Fa's bed with him, nose at the soft skin of Hong Fa's neck. Smell his sweet smelling hair. Taste his mouth.

He Tian took a step back, "I'll meet you here tomorrow morning to walk you to school."

Hong Fa held out the jacket that he still held, "Take this!"

He Tian stepped forward like he was preparing to accept the jacket, but instead he pressed a quick kiss, with perhaps a little tongue for the hell of it, against Hong Fa's lips, "See you tomorrow, Carrot Head."

He whispered the words, and then he was spinning on his heel and strolling away, his bruised hands shoved in his pockets.

There wasn't the sound of a door shutting, so He Tian stole a glance over his shoulder to see Hong Fa standing in slight shock on the porch. But eventually the boy slipped back inside, and He Tian was left to focus on how icy the rain felt against his skin, free to watch his breath cloud up and into the dark sky.

☼

"Guanshan... where did these groceries come from?"

Hong Fa froze in the doorway to his room, but his mother was coming out of the kitchen with a gallon of milk and the container of food Hong Fa had made. He had showered and brushed his teeth in record time, hoping to avoid the conversation he knew would be coming.

"Uh... I bought it," he mumbled.

"Where did the money come from?" there was a slight quiver to her voice, and Hong Fa knew why. His father was always showing up with random money, lying about it being a bonus from work. He'd held his lie up until the day he was arrested.

"Okay," Hong Fa sighed. He'd rather his mother be pissed at him than worried about him. "He Tian bought them. I swear I told him not to, but he's... he's persistent Ma-"

"Tell that boy I'll pay him back on my next paycheck!" she gasped, appalled. "Why did he do that?"

"I don't know," Hong Fa replied honestly. "I was going to scrounge up money and buy us cheap ramen, but he insisted that he was going to buy groceries. He said he'd just go alone and buy more than necessary if I didn't go too."

"Where does _he_ get the money?"

Hong Fa wasn't sure how much he could share about He Tian - especially since he hardly knew much about He Tian, "I... I think he has a rich uncle? I don't know, Ma. I'm tired. Can we talk about it another time?"

His mother sighed, walking down the hall towards him and giving him a gentle hug, "Of course, Guanshan. Go to bed, sweetie."

"Goodnight, Ma."

He scurried into his bedroom before she could ask more. She could be overbearing at times, incredibly so. But Hong Fa understood. They'd lost his sister, his father... his mother was terrified of losing Hong Fa, as well.

He stripped to boxers before he crawled into bed, his phone in his hand. He Tian hadn't texted him yet, so after several moments he shot the boy a text instead.

_Dont forget to text me when u get to ur apartment bastard._

Hong Fa could still feel He Tian's lips against his own, could almost feel the warmth of the boy pressed close behind him, holding him snugly on the couch. He flipped his pillow into the air and stuffed his head under it to stop the burning in his face.

How the asshole had gone from being an annoying shithead to an annoying shithead that was also attractive and capable of weakening Hong Fa's heart... Hong Fa would never know.

He was certainly regretting sending He Tian home. He _was_ worried, despite trying not to be. Sleep wasn't easily achieved at all. However he has finally started to doze off when his phone buzzed where he had rested it against his ribcage. With a bit of fumbling he pulled it up and squinted against the bright light.

**I'm in my apartment, fucker. Missing my maid tho. See u tomorrow Carrot Head**

Hong Fa snorted, but he was smiling as he drifted off to sleep.

☼

Being jumped right outside his apartment had been something He Tian half expected. Rather, he expected to be attacked much sooner. But as soon as he was preparing to enter the building, three of his "brothers" were yanking him around the corner and out of the view of street lights.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Jiefeng's voice was snarling in his ear. Something sharp and cold was pressed against his neck.

"The church, repenting for my sins," He Tian replied, shaking rain from his hair.

"You little shit."

"We're sinners, you know," He Tian smirked. "We're going to hell."

"Where _were_ you?" Jiefeng repeated. He pressed the blade of his knife more firmly into He Tian, the two men that He Tian recognized as Kim Ciao and Dazhu Qing, simple members of Wenyi Siwang. He Tian wanted to break their noses and send them scrambling.

"School for most of the day," He Tian shoved Jiefeng away. He wasn't afraid of a stupid little blade. "Then I had to go to the library for a stupid group project."

"We know who you were with."

"Can we maybe move this inside, wouldn't want you fragile boy's catching a cold in this rain-"

Jiefeng swung out and downward with his switchblade, catching He Tian's ribs with a stinging slash. He Tian kicked out immediately, sending the blade flying from Jiefeng's hand, but the other two were on He Tian in an instant.

"I'm tired of you acting high and fucking mighty," Jiefeng snarled. "We're going to beat the pride out of you."

He Tian fought back, of course. But three against one led to a bruised jaw, a black eye, and his knuckles were rebloodied. Still, despite the unfair circumstances, he managed to most likely break some ribs and fractured an eye socket before he was snatching up Jiefeng's switch blade and sinking it into his brother's arm.

Only then was he able to bolt from the alley and into the apartment building, clutching his bleeding and wet side as he ran up the steps and fumbled to open his apartment door. They didn't follow him.

His first thoughts went to Hong Fa; he had to text the boy and let Hong Fa know he was home. He sent a single text with one hand, blood oozing between his fingers where he pressed his hand over his ribs, and then he stumbled to his bathroom to strip out of his drenched clothing.

Blood loss was making him cold and dizzy, and he turned his shower to a scalding temperature and looked at his ribs in the mirror. There weren't any bones visible, and He Tian took that as a good sign. Granted, the wound was long and stung anytime He Tian stretched the already tight skin.

It was easy to hide that wound. He wouldn't worry much about it. His eye and jaw, however... that would be a bit more difficult to explain.

His spinning head forced him to sit down under the hot spray, carefully washing both his blood and the blood of the other three men from his skin. It didn't matter. He had worse. And he'd accept worse if it meant protecting Hong Fa. School the next day was going to be a bitch.

☼

It was a strange concept that Hong Fa was the first at the bus stop. When he'd left his house he had stood on his porch for a bit waiting for He Tian. There weren't any missed calls from him, nor any new texts. So Hong Fa had gone to the bus stop. He Tian wasn't there either.

The morning seemed even colder than the day before, and Hong Fa blew into his hands, burrowed deeper inside his jacket as he stood and waited. _Finally_ , however, he could see He Tian making his way towards the bus stop in his usual black and yellow track pants, and of course a plain grey T shirt. No jacket despite the frigid weather. He was moving strange, almost carefully.

Hong Fa walked to meet him. As he got closer, could see more of He Tian's face, he froze where he was. He Tian had a black eye and a heavily bruised jaw. The bandages on his knuckles were different and poorly wrapped.

"What the _fuck?_ " Hong Fa demanded, storming forward. He Tian gave him a guilty smile. "What the fuck, He Tian, what happened to you? Who did this?"

"Eh, I'm fine."

"Jesus Christ..."

"No, he didn't do it," He Tian joked. Hong Fa knew immediately then. His hands reached out to touch the bruise, and He Tian didn't pull away much to Hong Fa's surprise.

"It was your brother, wasn't it?" Hong Fa demanded.

"Don't say it so loud," He Tian said immediately. "It's fine."

"When did it happen?" Hong Fa continued. His behavior was probably bordering on obnoxious, but he didn't care.

"Last night."

"But you said you made it back to your apartment! I assumed you were fine, you idiot, why did you lie?"

He Tian sighed heavily, finally moving Hong Fa's hand away from his face, "I didn't lie. I _was_ fine. I made it into my apartment. What wouldn't be fine would be me still laying in the alleyway."

Guilt coursed through the redhead, "I should have just let you stay last night, I shouldn't have let you leave."

"Come on, Carrot Head, it's cold out here," He Tian changed the subject, gingerly throwing an arm around Hong Fa's shoulders. But the boy stiffened and removed it almost instantly, switching sides only to drape his other arm over Hong Fa. "There, that's much better."

"I'm re-wrapping your knuckles when we get there, you ass."

As they walked, they were silent aside from He Tian's breathing. The boy was breathing through his mouth, almost as if they were walking too fast. Generally He Tian was dragging Hong Fa along since his legs were longer, so Hong Fa knew very well that they were walking at a normal pace.

"Where's the fire, Carrot Head?" He Tian panted out, and he removed his arm to wrap it around himself. "I think I'm feeling kind of ill, so you go learn some shit or whatever it is you do in school. We're close enough now that you're safe."

"What's wrong with you?" Hong Fa demanded. "What's wrong with your ribs?"

"Nothing-"

"Bullshit," Hong Fa didn't believe him for a second. Without hesitation Hong Fa's fingers reached for He Tian's shirt, prepared to hoist it up and examine the boy's ribcage. However, a strong hand curled around his wrist, not tight enough to bruise of course, but tight enough that Hong Fa froze.

"You won't want to see," He Tian said slowly. "It's fine, but you..."

He Tian released him, however, allowing Hong Fa to reach again and lift He Tian's shirt. There was a bandage with a few spots of blood covering He Tian's ribs, but Hong Fa could still see the angry red mark on each end of the bandage.

"Fuck..." Hong Fa touched the own cut on his neck. "Is that..."

"Don't be nosy, Carrot Head," He Tian pulled his shirt down. "I said it's fine."

However, Hong Fa's heart was racing rapidly in his chest. He Tian could have been seriously hurt had the cut been deeper. There was no way in hell he would head to school and leave He Tian alone. Instead, he shrugged off his backpack and unzipped his jacket to force it at He Tian.

"Put this on right now."

"Are you going to make me?" He Tian grinned.

Hong Fa held the jacket up for He Tian to put his arms inside, "Just do it, shithead."

He Tian merely pushed Hong Fa's hands down, "Feel my arms and tell me if I feel cold to you. Put your jacket back on, Carrot Head. You're going to get sick."

Hong Fa tossed the jacket over He Tian's shoulder and picked his backpack back up off the sidewalk, "No. Now come on. We'll walk slow and miss first period, I don't give a shit, but you're coming to school so your asshole brother doesn't try anything else. I'll beat-"

"Absolutely not," He Tian was suddenly all seriousness. "You won't. You won't go near him at all. He doesn't fight fair. He'd kill you and that's exactly what we're trying to avoid."

But then he dropped Hong Fa's jacket over the boy's head and grabbed his hand in his own. Hong Fa wanted to protest, wanted to claim that they _both_ needed to avoid getting killed. But He Tian started discussing what Hong Fa could make them for dinner, mentioning the egg custard tarts, and Hong Fa could only focus on how warm He Tian's hands felt in his own cold one.

☼

"What the fuck?!"

Jian Yi was hunched over, his head between his knees, and Hong Fa was awkwardly attempting  
to pull his hand away from He Tian's.

"Hello to you as well," He Tian snickered. He was enjoying himself far too much.

"Call an ambulance," Jian Yi gasped. "I can't breathe. My vision... it's going dark-"

Even Zhan Zheng Xi had his eyebrow arched at them, "It isn't our business, Jian Yi."

"If you're curious, yes. We're dating," He Tian announced, smirking as Hong Fa flushed scarlet. "Now, you should really pull yourself together. You have class with Hong Fa next. You three can walk together."

Hong Fa moved to elbow He Tian in the ribs, on the side with his wound and all, and He Tian was going to allow it, but the boy froze. He was far too merciful and He Tian knew for a fact that Hong Fa deserved more. But he was selfish, incredibly so, and he'd keep Hong Fa around for as long as he could.

"Come on Hong Fa," Zhan Zheng Xi's mouth twitched up into a smile. "I don't let Jian Yi show up late so I'm not about to let you either."

Hong Fa flipped He Tian off as he followed Zhengxi, who was pulling Jian Yi by the elbow, and He Tian winked at him in response. However, he desperately needed a smoke break to calm down. His ribs hurt like a bitch.

With that being so, he simple let himself rest just outside the doors to the courtyard, skipping his second period class as well. Perhaps he'd go to his third, or he'd just go unseen on the grounds all day and wait for Hong Fa to finish. Granted, he'd eat lunch with the boy of course.

So He Tian hung out in the hallways until lunch to remain warm, and then he set off in search for Hong Fa. Unsurprisingly the boy was surrounded by a bunch of wannabe punks. He was, however, scanning the courtyard.

Just as He Tian began making his way over, a white haired boy all but sat on top of Hong Fa. He Tian froze, his eyes narrowing as he watched the boy from afar. He did, however, slink closer to listen.

"So what'd'ya say, Hong Fa?" the way the fucker elbowed the redhead made He Tian's blood boil.

"No," Hong Fa said simply, scooting away. The boy scooted closer.

"Just one date," the boy continued. "I'll buy."

"I said no, She Li," Hong Fa repeated. _She Li._

"Why are you acting like a fuckin' uptight bitch?" She Li's pleasant behavior was souring, and He Tian clenched his fists so hard that his bruised knuckles popped. "'M askin' for a ramen date, not a fuck."

He was going to intervene. He was going to _rip off_ She Li's limbs. His heart was racing in his chest, his face burning with fury. Hong Fa, however, shoved away as She Li attempted to wrap an arm around him.

"Fuck off."

But as Hong Fa stood from the table he was at, She Li's hand curled around the back of Hong Fa's jacket and yanked him roughly back down. There were a few remarks from the others to lay off, but She Li was grabbing Hong Fa's jaw, despite Hong Fa protesting and trying to slap him away, and leaning in.

He Tian didn't know if She Li intended to kiss Hong Fa or simply speak to the boy, but he didn't wait to figure out. With only a second passing it seemed, He Tian was across the courtyard and flinging She Li off of the bench and onto the ground by his hair.

"Hey!" one of the others at the table started to protest, but He Tian snarled.

"Sit the fuck down."

His chest was heaving with his anger, which didn't at all help his ribs. In fact he was certain it was bleeding again. He didn't care. Rather, he held his hand out for Hong Fa just as She Li pushed off the ground.

"I'm fine," Hong Fa waved off the hand that He Tian was trying to touch his chin with. There were red marks from She Li's grip on his jaw. And He Tian saw red.

He spun on his heel, swinging and punching She Li in the mouth hard enough to knock the boy back to the ground. The others scattered like the chickens they always were.

"If you _ever_... put your hands on him again when he tells you not to," He Tian spat. "I'll kill you."

She Li only groaned, rolling onto his side and clutching his face. Hong Fa suddenly gasped, grabbing He Tian by the arm and quickly pulling him away from the boy.

"Hold on I'm about to kick his fucking-" He Tian was trying to pull away.

"You're bleeding through your shirt," Hong Fa said quietly, and the boy almost sounded... nervous.

Still, He Tian couldn't be calmed. It'd been quite some time since he had let himself get so angry, as it was never a good thing when he couldn't control his rage.

"Where are we _going,_ I'm not finished with that fucking bastard-"

"Yes you are," Hong Fa tugged He Tian to a hole in the fencing in the very far corner of the school yard. "We're going to your apartment and I'll decide if you need to go to the hospital or not."

Before He Tian could protest, Hong Fa was shrugging from his jacket and wrapping it around He Tian's ribs. He tied it firmly, and then pulled back the fencing to allow He Tian through.

"I'm not-"

"Please."

The red marks on Hong Fa's jaw weren't helping, but they were fading.

"Fine."

He Tian reluctantly ducked through the fence. Hong Fa was following closely behind, and he seized He Tian's hand with once again rebloodied knuckles, and He Tian allowed himself to be taken to his apartment.

If his brother or anyone even attempted to lay a finger on Hong Fa he'd kill them, he wouldn't hold back. However, no one stopped them from entering the building, and He Tian was left to wallow in his own fury.

The redhead had him strip out of his shirt in the bathroom, gingerly cleaning the wound with a blank face but gentle hands. He Tian was still livid.

But Hong Fa stood, carefully placing a massive bandage over the cut and using athletic tape from He Tian's first aid kit to tape it down, "Am I the one that has you so pissed off?"

He Tian was momentarily snapped to attention, slightly stunned, "What? No, it's that fucking white haired asshole that was forcing himself on you in the courtyard."

"That doesn't seem like something that would make you mad. I hardly ever see you mad, you just always look smug," Hong Fa admitted. "But back there in the courtyard I wanted to get you away from there before you actually killed someone. I hadn't seen you like that before. Even before I really knew who you were and just saw you around school I'd never seen you like that."

He Tian examined the red hair and green eyes, the healing cut on Hong Fa's neck, and the sharpness of the boy's collarbones. He sucked in a deep breath, "You're mine."

Hong Fa's brow scrunched, "What?"

And He Tian placed his hands where _She Li_ had laid his own filthy ones. His touch of course was far more gentle, and he stroked Hong Fa's high cheekbone, "Is it alright if I kiss you?"

He watched Hong Fa's lips, his throat, as the boy swallowed hard, "Yeah..."

So He Tian did, gently. It wasn't rough or hurried or overly intimate. It was soft, careful, simply brushing their lips together in a desperate attempt to portray that even if he seemed like a heartless asshole at times that He Tian would _never_ force Hong Fa to do something he didn't want.

Hong Fa was still chasing He Tian's lips as the taller boy pulled away, "You're... you're mine. Not She Ali's. You're mine - if... if you'll have me."

The redhead softly touched the uncovered side of He Tian's ribs, "I will. I'm. Yeah. I'm yours."

"Thank you," He Tian hugged him tight. He didn't feel so furious anymore... but warm. He felt wonderfully warm.

Later on, after Hong Fa had made them pasta and He Tian had his head resting on Hong Fa's thigh as they watched television on He Tian's couch, Hong Fa snickered.

"You were jealous."

"I don't feel jealousy," He Tian scoffed. It was a lie. He had been _so fucking_ jealous he had thought his heart was going to burst from his already cut ribs.

"What the fuck ever," Hong Fa gave He Tian's hair a light tug. He Tian, in response, turned his head and lightly hit Hong Fa's thigh. The boy gave a startled yelp. "I guess I'll just head home then-"

Hong Fa was moving to push He Tian's head from his lap so he could get up, but He Tian curled his arms around Hong Fa's waist, "Nope. You're stuck here. I'm too tired to walk you home and it's too dangerous for you to go alone."

" _She Li_ could come pick me up," Hong Fa said slowly. He Tian's grip tightened.

"Not funny."

"You're jealous."

"You're not just mine. I'm yours, too," He Tian pointed out, smirking up at the red head to watch him blush.

"Well... yes. But you're still jealous."

He Tian simply rolled over, careful of his protesting ribs, and burrowed his head fondly into Hong Fa's stomach. It was a few minutes later that he heard Hong Fa quietly telling his mother over the phone that he'd be staying the night. He Tian nuzzled closer.

Hong Fa still refused to sleep in He Tian's bed, so He Tian stayed on the couch, spooning him and clinging to him much like he had the night before. He fell asleep happier than he had in a long time, his face burrowed into soft red hair.

 


	10. strange love

_They think I'm insane_   
_They think my lover is strange_   
_But I don't have to fucking tell them anything_   
_Anything_   
_Halsey / Strange Love_

_☼_

"Stop chewing on your pencil like that."

"Fuck off."

"It's making me want to kiss you, you fucker."

Hong Fa pulled the pencil from his mouth and launched it across his kitchen at He Tian, "There, dickhead."

Things felt so _simple_. So relaxed and care free, and He Tian was loving it. It'd been two weeks since they'd started "dating", and despite having spent everyday including weekends together, He Tian still had yet to grow tired of the red haired boy.

Hong Fa was sitting at his kitchen table, gripping another pencil in his hand as he glared down at a homework assignment. He Tian found it... cute... that the boy's brow was almost always furrowed into a scowl. It made it much better to see him smile.

He Tian picked up the pencil that had been thrown, carrying it back over to Hong Fa and leaning down into the boy's face.

"Just one stab with your pencil could take me out, you know," He Tian smirked. "My weaker ribs are facing you."

"I'm going to kick you out of my house," Hong Fa pushed He Tian's face away with the palm of his hand. "My mom will kill me if I don't get my grades up."

The curl of Hong Fa's lip was far too tempting, and He Tian leaned to press a kiss to the corner of the boy's mouth. Hong Fa grumbled, but he turned into the kiss.

"There," He Tian hummed. "Now, if you truly want me to shut up, make me egg custard."

The boy ignored him. He seemed to have gotten rather decent at ignoring He Tian when He Tian was purposely trying to be annoying. He Tian noisily pulled a chair next to Hong Fa, straddling it backwards so he could run a finger up and down Hong Fa's arm.

"That tickles, cut it out."

"Make me egg custard," He Tian repeated.

"You know where to find shit, make it yourself," Hong Fa shook He Tian off. "Get away."

"I'll do your work if you make me egg custard."

Hong Fa slammed a fist down on the table, "You can do advanced calculus?"

"Let me see," He Tian scooted closer to Hong Fa, leaning in to look at the sheet and book that rested on the table. "Oh yeah. Easy."

"Easy?" Hong Fa scoffed.

"Yeah, you're integrating exponential functions. Easy," He Tian shrugged. Calculus and algebra were second nature to him, he'd studied them quite a bit when he was younger. He'd wanted to work for CNSA, go to space and leave the shit hole that was earth. But that dream had been crushed. He was destined to be miserable.

"If you seriously can do this for me, I'll fucking make you so much egg custard."

"Deal."

He Tian completed Hong Fa's work in mere minutes, fixing anything he had gotten incorrect, and it left him free to pester the boy. If he pressed up close to look over his shoulder, it would make Hong Fa make his coined frustrated snort and start throwing his bony elbows.

"There's no way you're done!" Hong Fa's eyes narrowed. "If you bullshitted me and I fail that assignment I'm cutting your ribs back open."

He Tian simply rested his chin on Hong Fa's shoulder, practically gluing himself to the boy's body, "If you get more than three wrong I'll let you do _whatever_ you want to me."

"I'll kick your ass."

"Don't threaten me with a good time," He Tian murmured lowly, his lips directly behind Hong Fa's ear. He felt the boy shiver, and it left him so fucking smug. "But usually I'm the one who does the punishing."

Hong Fa jolted, and he squirmed away to push at He Tian with a bright red face, "Don't be crude! G-go sit down."

The raven haired boy laughed, reveling in how flustered Hong Fa was. However, he left the kitchen to wander down the hall to Hong Fa's room. The furthest they'd gone intimacy wise was heavily making out, but He Tian thrived on riling Hong Fa up.

Hong Fa still refused to let He Tian sleep in a bed with him, and He Tian respected it. They'd only dated for two weeks. Still, he'd managed to sleep on the couch with Hong Fa two or three times. Not only did He Tian like to press the boy's buttons, but he also enjoyed _cuddling._ But he'd never verbally admit that to anyone besides Hong Fa.

As he entered Hong Fa's room, he glanced around the orderly space before flopping himself down on Hong Fa's small single bed. _Soft_. The blankets and pillow smelled faintly of Hong Fa, sweet with a bit of spice. Slightly like nutmeg, which was ironic considering Hong Fa had hair the color of mixed spices.

He Tian was never one to respect boundaries and privacy, and he shamelessly pulled things off the shelf near Hong Fa's bed, flipping through books and papers. A snort came from the doorway, and He Tian peered over the book he held in his hands to see Hong Fa standing with eyebrows raised.

"Get your filth out of my bed."

"Join me, Carrot Head," He Tian said sultrily.

Hong Fa unfortunately didn't blush. Instead he walked to the bed, sitting down and waiting for He Tian to sit up from his sprawled position. He Tian gave an innocent grin up at Hong Fa, simply admiring. His long lashes, his furrowed brow, the faint pink line on his neck that was _finally_ almost healed.

"Sit up, you fuck," Hong Fa sighed. "Or I'll send you home without letting you eat your egg custard."

He Tian grabbed Hong Fa's shirt and yanked hard. Despite his flailing attempts at escape, the redhead still crashed face first onto He Tina's chest, one knee hitting He Tian's crotch and knocking the air out of the dark haired boy.

"You hit me in the dick," He Tian wheezed, but he wrapped his limbs tightly around Hong Fa to prevent escape.

"Good, now let go-"

"Does your mom work late tonight?" He Tian asked, wanting to change the subject away from the fact that he also wanted a cuddle. But he'd really asked because Seonigmi had still been home when they'd returned from school. Over the past two weeks the woman had apparently asked where He Tian was every time Hong Fa had returned home without him and hadn't gone to He Tian's.

She also certainly went out of her way to make He Tian feel welcome, and it was a foreign concept to the boy. Never before had he had someone leave him food in the fridge, or make lemonade out of kindness for him. But Seonigmi was _always_ doing something for Hong Fa, and therefore He Tian. She'd tried to repay He Tian for buying groceries, but He Tian always snuck it back into Hong Fa's pockets.

"Yeah, she probably won't be back until I'm leaving for school. Why?" Hong Fa was still attempting to pry free from He Tian's clinging limbs.

"Then you can come to my house with me," He sTian declared, stroking at the boy's red head he had squished to his chest.

"No."

Hong Fa had stopped straining against He Tian, but was still tense. Only when the boy was sleepy could He Tian properly cuddle him.

"Why not?" He Tian laughed.

"Because we aren't having sex, if that's what you're after."

He Tian snorted, "I'm offended. Is that what you think I'm after?"

"Your hand is on my ass."

To further prove Hong Fa's point, He Tian squeezed the cheek he had under his hand, "Still doesn't mean I'm after sex. I just want you to come with me so you don't have to stay here alone."

"Sleep on my couch, then," Hong Fa pushed himself up. "You're a pervert."

It made a small frown form on He Tian's face, but he sat up as well. Hong Fa eyed him suspiciously, but He Tian only touched his arm, "Yeah, I am, so if I ever make you uncomfortable just tell me in all seriousness and I'll cut it out."

"What?" Hong Fa blinked in confusion.

"I mean it. I like to fuck around and try to piss you off because it's cute when you try to act tough and angry, but I don't actually want to hurt you or make you upset."

Surprisingly, the redhead still looked confused, but his face was slowly growing pink, "Oh. You... you're fine. It doesn't- it's fine, you never upset me."

"That's good," He Tian breathed a sigh of relief. Seriousness gone, he seized Hong Fa's chin in his hand. "Because I like being a pervert."

Hong Fa scowled, "I need to check on the egg custard."

He Tian happily followed him from the room, pressed so close behind him with his arms around his waist that they both struggled to walk normally.

☼

"So if you don't come with me I'll just be walking home alone again," He Tian mumbled around a mouthful of egg custard. "Maybe get knifed like last time. Who knows?"

Hong Fa had no idea how he put up with the bastard. His head already hurt from He Tian's constant pestering. And yet... Hong Fa thrived off of it. He secretly loved the way He Tian could make anything seem less serious... or, most of the time he did.

"I just told you to sleep on my couch," Hong Fa grumbled. He already knew who would be winning the battle. They'd bicker, but He Tian would without a doubt walk home alone. Hong Fa hadn't let him do that since he'd been jumped by his brother. Not in the dark, at least, and it was well past dark outside.

"I want my bed."

The redhead snorted, "You're a dick."

He Tian stood, depositing his dish in the sink, most likely because he knew Hong Fa would bitch if he didn't, and leaned against the counter, "Come on, Carrot Head. I don't want to leave you here alone."

"Fine. But only because I'll feel guilty if your brother kicks your ass again."

So Hong Fa washed up the dishes, and He Tian surprisingly picked up the clutter they'd left. The redhead shot a text to his mother to let her know he was staying at He Tian's, and then he prepared his school bag for the next morning.

In all honesty, Hong Fa was nervous. He trusted He Tian and knew He Tian would never force anything on him, but it also worried him that he'd take too long to get his shit together, to be as open with physics affection as He Tian was. He Tian would get tired of him. He'd be lonely again.

He Tian was the only person who was _honest._ Was the only person He Tian could truly consider a friend. He finished stuffing books into his backpack, slinging it onto a shoulder and walking down the hall only to find He Tian awkwardly moving things around the living room.

"What are you doing?" Hong Fa asked, eyebrow arched.

"Picking up for your mom," He Tian responded. "Your jacket is in the closet. Maybe wear two, it's colder out."

"You have no idea how to clean, do you?"

"Nope."

Hong Fa snorted, grabbing his jacket from the closet by the door and sliding his shoes on. Rather than putting his jacket on, he merely it over his shoulder with his bag. He Tian gave one last adjustment to a throw resting on the couch, and then finally he followed Hong Fa out of the house.

It took a bit of fumbling in order for Hong Fa to lock the door behind him, but they set off down the sidewalk at a brisk pace. He Tian's arm found its way around Hong Fa's waist.

"Let's try to catch a bus," Hong Fa suggested, fighting to keep his teeth from chattering. The air was positively frigid, and yet He Tian seemed unfazed.

"Cold?" He Tian snickered. "I told you to wear your jacket. You're going to get sick."

The raven haired boy sounded smug, but at the same time he moved his arm up higher, pulled Hong Fa closer, and rubbed at Hong Fa's chilled arm with a warm hand.

They stopped at the bus stop, standing in the icy air. He Tian took his warmth away when he released Hong Fa to dig in his pockets. Their clouded breaths were far more visible beneath the street light, and Hong Fa spotted He Tian pulling out a cigarette to light up as they waited. Despite his attempts to stay jacketless, Hong Fa had to put his backpack down and slip his jacket on, rubbing at his arms to help warm up the fabric quicker.

But He Tian, with his cigarette balanced between his lips, wrapped both of his arms around Hong Fa from behind. Hong Fa couldn't resist the warmth. He leaned back against the boy, and they remained like that in silence for the ten minutes it took for a bus to arrive.

The bus was nearly vacant with it being ten o'clock at night, and yet they sat towards the middle. However, He Tian took the window seat rather than tucking Hong Fa on the inside. Hong Fa was hyper aware of the arm He Tian had around him, of the smell of the boy's cigarette smoke that lingered on him. In someway, that smell was so soothing to him

"Warm yet, Carrot Head?" He Tian asked quietly.

Hong Fa huffed, "Yeah, yeah. Make fun of me all you want, fuck head."

He Tian laughed, moving his arm from Hong Fa's shoulder, "I was being genuine. Bastard."

"You're still a fuck head," A fond smile crept onto Hong Fa's face. The insults they threw at each other were never harsh, only playful. It was so fucking addicting.

He Tian leaned in close, placing one hand on Hong Fa's thigh while he typed on his phone, "Jian Yi is freaking out over some thing he saw on the school's student run twitter."

Something strangely uncomfortable stirred in Hong Fa's stomach, "How often do you text Jian Yi?"

"Enough to help him with math homework," He Tian replied. "We were in the same class and he liked to write 'shit face' on any assignment I had."

"Yeah, well, you are a shit face," Hong Fa mumbled, turning his head away. He Tian was allowed to talk to other people, Hong Fa wasn't bothered. Definitely not.

"You wouldn't happen to be _jealous_?" He Tian queried, fingers squeezing around Hong Fa's thigh.

"Fuck you, I'm not. I don't care if you talk to him," Hong Fa sneered, pushing He Tian's hand away.

"Sure, sure," He Tian chuckled, but he turned his attention back to his phone. "He was just telling me that people are noticing us and saying that we might be dating. Took them long enough. Two weeks of me holding your hand and groping you, and we _might_ be dating. We're in a school full of idiots."

It surprised Hong Fa a bit. He hadn't expected He Tian to want people to know. But the fact that He Tian _did_ want people to know made the redhead feel strange... almost warm inside.   
Still, he pulled out his own phone and stared at it. There wasn't anyone _he_ could text.   
However, He Tian wasn't texting much longer. Rather, his long eye lashes were fluttering, falling against high cheek bones.

By the time they reached the stop near He Tian's apartment, the boy had rested his head on Hong Fa's shoulder and was dozing off.

"C'mon, idiot, we're at your apartment," Hong Fa gently shook He Tian.

He Tian sat up immediately, rubbing his palm into one of his eyes, "Damn. You must be comfortable, Carrot Head, because I never just fall asleep like that."

"Let's just hurry up, I'm not looking forward to freezing my dick off."

The two climbed off before the bus driver got pissy, He Tian taking Hong Fa's backpack and putting it over his own shoulder. But before they could even begin walking towards He Tian's apartment, He Tian was shoving Hong Fa's backpack at him again.

"Stay here, and if I'm not back in five minutes or if I tell you to run, you run," He Tian hissed under his breath.

"What?" Hong Fa asked in bewilderment, and he reached to catch He Tian's elbow, but the boy was already slinking out from under the street light and slipping around the street corner into a darkened alley.

Panic was immediately welling up in Hong Fa's throat and chest. He wasn't just going to _run away,_ not if He Tian was being left behind. Hong Fa took a shaky step toward the alley, still clutching his backpack in his hands. There wasn't any sound coming from the alley He Tian had disappeared into.

"He Tian?" Hong Fa called out. No response. "He Tian!"

At a loud clatter from the alleyway, adrenaline drove Hong Fa forward with another shout of He Tian's name. He charged his way into the alleyway, wielding his backpack like a weapon. He was prepared to fuck up whoever He Tian was after, or rather, whoever had been after He Tian.

But as he ran around the corner and plunged into the darkness, he crashed straight into a solid and warm chest. Hong Fa was bellowing, dropping his bag and rearing his fist back in preparation to break the nose of the figure in front of him.

Strong hands grabbed him, however, "You don't listen well, do you?"

"I'll kick your ass you son of a-" his mind was racing as he tried to break free from the vice-like grip.

"It's _me_ , you idiot. Relax," the person in front of him gave a familiar chuckle. _He Tian._

☼

He Tian stepped them out of the alleyway and back into better lighting, attempting to show the redhead that he wasn't someone else out for murder.

Relief flitted across Hong Fa's face, but at the same time he punched He Tian in the chest, "You _fucker!"_

"Not exactly the reaction I expected," He Tian pursed his lips, holding his arms up defensively.

But then he suddenly had his arms full of a trembling body, red hair in his face and arms hugging him tight, "You made me so fucking worried about you, what kind of horse shit was that?"

His eyebrows shot up, his heart flip flopping strangely in his chest. For once in his life, he fought a blush, "Worried? Really now. Maybe I should worry you more often. The last time you were worried about me you kissed me."

"Go fuck yourself," Hong Fa snapped, but he didn't stop hugging He Tian. "What was that about?"

"I saw someone step into the alley, and it wasn't anyone I knew, but before I went to find out I thought it might be. He tried to jump me when I went to investigate, but I threatened to chop his balls off and he ran so fast he tripped over a trashcan," He Tian explained, wrapping his arms around Hong Fa as well.

The redhead _never_ displayed affection, so He Tian was enjoying it more than he'd ever admit. Hong Fa grumbled in his arms, "Let's just go inside now. Can't believe you thought I'd just run away and leave you."

As the boy pulled away, still gripping He Tian's hand as he dragged him down the sidewalk, He Tian laughed, "Did you plan to beat someone to death with your backpack?"

Hong Fa didn't respond. Truthfully He Tian had been a bit worried as well when he'd spotted the dark figure stepping into the alley. His first thought was to take Hong Fa by the wrist and lead him away. But if it was his brother, and his brother was armed, he could shoot at them when their backs turned. Leaving Hong Fa standing alone had troubled him as well. It left him nervous that someone else would be waiting elsewhere. The streetlight seemed safer than taking Hong Fa _towards_ the dark alley, so He Tian had to work with what he could.

He was dragged nearly the entire way up the stairs to his apartment, laughing practically the entire way. Only when they were safely inside did the red haired boy release He Tian.

The makeshift bed on He Tian's couch was already prepared, it was always prepared. Unless, of course, Hong Fa had cleaned it up. Which reminded He Tian; he needed to write the boy a check. They may have been dating, but Hong Fa was still somewhat cleaning his house and He Tian wasn't going to use that to his advantage. He'd pay the boy fairly, perhaps by slipping the check, or just money so it wouldn't be shredded, into Hong Fa's wallet.

Hong Fa had immediately taken his shoes off by the door and headed for the couch, stripping from his jacket and shirt and folding them neatly over the back. The boy always seemed to sleep in joggers, but He Tian knew that Hong Fa stripped out of those too once he was under covers.

It left the perfect opportunity to admire the milky torso standing in his living room. He Tian longed to bite the skin, mark up the smooth white with his tongue and teeth.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Hong Fa huffed.

"I'm admiring," He Tian rumbled, leaning against his front door and crossing his arms. "You're sexy."

Even the boy's chest turned red when he blushed, "Go to bed, pervert."

He Tian smiled, kicking his own shoes off and striding towards Hong Fa for. Hong Fa spluttered a bit as He Tian all but mashed their lips together in a sloppy and wet kiss, "Nighty night, darling!"

Of course he had to sneak in a quick grope to Hong Fa's ass, but then he pulled away and rushed down the hall before the boy could get in a punch.

As always, He Tian turned his tv on for faint light but muted it, and he changed from track pants to sweats and stripped out of his shirt before he sprawled out across his bed. Oddly enough, he hated sleeping with a pillow, so therefore he didn't have a certain way that he slept in bed. He slept however he collapsed onto the mattress.

From down the hall there was faint shuffling, most likely Hong Fa getting comfortable, and He Tian pursed his lips. The apartment was always kept rather cold, as he naturally was always warm, so he hoped the seemingly always cold boy was snug enough with the two   
blankets he'd been given.

Yet as if He Tian had been thinking aloud, Hong Fa was suddenly standing in the doorway sheepishly.

"Uh..." his face was beat red as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Do you need more blankets?" He Tian asked, starting to sit up.

Rather than speak verbally, Hong Fa hurried into the room and slunk his way onto the bed, inching close to where He Tian was propped on his side. Without a single word, the comforter was pulled all the way up next to Hong Fa's red face.

"Goodnight," Hong Fa croaked.

He Tian desperately wanted to get in a few good jabs to all of Hong Fa's ticklish areas, wanted to poke fun that Hong Fa was starting to like cuddling. However, he was a bit stunned that the boy was in _his bed_ with _him_ present.

Hesitantly, he draped an arm around Hong Fa's middle, one that wasn't immediately shoved off. Unfortunately, He Tian thought, now that he knew what it was like to cuddle in a bed with Hong Fa, he was going to request it every single time they spent the night together. Cold feet found their way against He Tian's, and he chuckled into red hair, pressed a soft kiss to the always furrowed brow.

"Goodnight, Carrot Head."

☼

During the next week, as whispers of Hong Fa and He Tian continued to spread around, it became a habit for He Tian to sit with Hong Fa in the courtyard for lunch. Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi joined in when they could, but on one particular day they weren't out for lunch for whatever reason. Hong Fa didn't particularly care. Although he knew it was an innocent friendship between He Tian and Jian Yi, the boy with pale blonde hair still intimidated him. Perhaps it was due to the fact that Jian Yi had once held him down to twist his balls, and He Tian had helped... even if it was before he'd gotten close to the dark haired boy.

Hong Fa had started bringing two lunches; one for himself, and of course one for He Tian, as the boy was hopeless and wouldn't eat otherwise. The courtyard was freezing, as it was as good as winter out, but He Tian wanted to smoke and Hong Fa was hungry.

They sat side by side at a table eating, and in Hong Fa's case, shivering.

"Do you think I could skip next period?" He Tian hummed as he popped a carrot, that Hong Fa had packed for him, into his mouth. "It's history, which is boring as fuck."

"Do whatever the hell you want," Hong Fa shrugged. "I have an exam in trig that I'm fucked over."

"I'll tutor you," He Tian laughed.

"No, I don't want your help," Hong Fa shot back, and He Tian grabbed his hand to intertwine their fingers.

"Your eyebrows can squish so close together, it's hysterical. You look like an angry puppy," the boy smirked.

He was so infuriating sometimes that Hong Fa wanted to kick him. But it also made him so endearing that Hong Fa could hardly meet He Tian's silver eyes without his heart thudding rapidly in his chest. He Tian was super human and could probably hear it beating.

A voice from behind him suddenly snapped him from his thoughts, "You two? I guess it makes sense, you're both fucked up."

Both He Tian and Hong Fa turned to find a boy dressed in black with white hair hanging into his eyes. His nose was crooked, just recently having been made so. He was accompanied by two other assholes, both looking ridiculous in their black track pants and yellow shirts. He Tian's entire body stiffened, and Hong Fa tightened the grip he held on the boy's hand. Hong Fa had been hoping not to ever see the white haired fucker again.

"I can _show_ you fucked up, She Li," He Tian snarled, but Hong Fa only squeezed his hand tighter. It'd be best to keep He Tian _out_ of jail, and something told Hong Fa that He Tian wasn't kidding the last time about killing She Li.

She Li completely ignored He Tian as if the last time they'd interacted He Tian hadn't knocked him on his ass, "So you'll fuck this black haired pussy but you won't even go on a date with me?"

Hong Fa remained silent, He Tian so livid that he shook at Hong Fa's side.

"Look at that, She Li, the boy who thinks he's hot shit is shaking where he sits," one of the assholes behind She Li sneered.

"Yeah, he's an ugly and mental bastard," She Li laughed. "I'd slit his throat if I could, but he's not the one who turned me down. Maybe I'll reopen the scar on Red's neck just for shits and-"

He Tian lunged up from the table, breaking loose from Hong Fa's grip, but Hong Fa grabbed the back of He Tian's shirt out of desperation. If He Tian actually killed someone on school property then Hong Fa could never see him again, or the "family" He Tian was always warning Hong Fa about could take He Tian away.

So out of a desperate attempt to make He Tian calmer, Hong Fa stepped between She Li and He Tian, seized He Tian's clenched and burning hot jaw in his hands, and pressed their lips together.

He heard snorts of disgust behind him, and He Tian stiffened more, but then fingers tangled in his hair and He Tian finally relaxed. Hong Fa broke free for only a few moments to crane around and flip the three boys his middle finger, "Go fuck yourselves, or next time I'll just let him kill you."

He Tian's silver eyes were blazing as Hong Fa turned his attention back to the boy, but he brushed their lips together once more, nibbling a bit on He Tian's lower one, and He Tian snickered into his mouth.

Never before had someone been so willing to look after Hong Fa, been so ready to take his side. But the taller boy melting under his lips was a rarity, never before had Hong Fa knew someone who could be such a dick but such a kind hearted person. And Hong Fa realized, in that instant, that he was so fucking gone for the boy in front of him.

 


	11. the feeling

_I'm notorious for thinking you're_   
_Full of beautiful_   
_Instead of hollow_   
_Sugar on your lips, it's hard to kill_   
_Jagged like a pill, so hard to swallow_   
_-Halsey_ _(and Justin Bieber)_ _/_ _The Feeling_

_☼_

A heavy fog covered the large wall of a window in He Tian's apartment. It clouded and blurred the lights that illuminated the street and city below, creating a sort of calming solitude in the warm and well lit kitchen and living room.

With the back of his hand, Hong Fa wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead. He Tian watched him with hooded eyes, a small smile on his face.

"I bet people down in the street think that we're having killer sex up here with how much this window has fogged," He Tian announced, running a finger across the condensation.

"What the fuck," Hong Fa snorted. "Of course that's the first thing you mention. Not that it's warm in here _and_ that I'm making you beef stew, but that people will assume we're having sex."

The dark haired boy laughed, "You and I know the truth though. We have yet to christen the relationship. Two month anniversary is coming up though, you know."

 _Two months._ He Tian couldn't believe it'd been two months. Never had he imagined he could be with someone for so long without consequences, but he hadn't seen or heard from any of the Wenyi Siwang members. He flaunted around with Hong Fa's hand clutched tight in his own, because the gorgeous redhead belonged to _He Tian._

Anyone who claimed otherwise generally had the shit scared out of them, and the interaction would end with Hong Fa guiding He Tian away. But jealousy hadn't been a one way street, oh no.

•••

Hong Fa, He Tian discovered, could put him to shame. The discovery came about all thanks to Jian Yi. It had been about three weeks prior, and they had been eating inside to avoid the frigid cold that winter had brought. Zhan Zheng Xi was out sick, but Jian Yi had surprisingly come to school rather than skipping as well.

And he had sat with He Tian and Hong Fa. The blond had spent the entire time stealing He Tian's food, touching He Tian's hair, rubbing his leg subconsciously against He Tian's thigh. Granted, He Tian knew it was something Jian Yi was doing to soothe himself while the one person who kept him grounded was gone.

Hong Fa _didn't_ know this. The boy absolutely thought that Jian Yi was flirting, and he was _livid._ The boy had managed to keep his cool until Jian Yi had claimed, "You have a jaw that could fucking cut someone, He Tian. Like, you piss me off but you're attractive as fuck and I'd willingly let you slice me with your cheekbones."

"Fuck off," Hong Fa had spat, surprising both of the two other boys. The redhead had quite literally been silent the entire time. Hong Fa's hand flew down to seize He Tian's thigh while his other hand knocked Jian Yi's hand away from where it rested near He Tian's. "You already text him all the time. You're supposed to be working your way into Zhan Zheng Xi's pants and _not my boyfriend's._ "

Which, Jesus Christ, turned He Tian on beyond belief. He simply smirked back and forth between Jian Yi and Hong Fa. Jian Yi stared with mouth agape, but then almost immediately began cackling, "You think I like _him?_ That's fucking hysterical, oh my god-"

Hong Fa had simply given Jian Yi the finger, and despite He Tian secretly wishing there'd be some sort of cat fight, he winked at Jian Yi and took Hong Fa by the arm to guide him from the room.

Out in the hallway, Hong Fa was flushed completely red from anger, "Of course you think this is funny, you-"

But he Tian hadn't waited for Hong Fa to finish, but instead ducked forward and closed his mouth over the soft skin of Hong Fa's neck, sucking and pulling at the skin with his teeth. The boy gasped, his hands seizing He Tian's shirt, and He Tian pulled back as soon as he was sure he'd burst vessels under the milky skin.

Hong Fa was still red, but this time from something much different than jealousy.

"Your turn," He Tian breathed. Clumsily, Hong Fa stepped forward, seizing He Tian's face to suck right above his Adam's apple. "Suck a bit harder... press your tongue- _ah,_ yeah like that. You can bite, too, I don't mind."

Hong Fa pulled back, eyeing the forming bruise he'd created. He pressed a finger against it, and He Tian marveled in the stinging pain. He Tian was glad for the track pants he wore, as he was so fucking hard in his briefs.

•••

 _"Hey!"_ Hong Fa's voice snapped He Tian out of his thoughts. "Stew is ready."

He Tian smiled, looking to the glass that he'd marked his finger down. He drew a large heart, doodling inside an incredibly cheesy message:

_He Tian + Carrot Head_

"I'm making art."

"That should say 'Hong Fa hates He Tian'."

He Tian gave a surprised chuckle, but he erased his previous heart on the glass and drew another, writing out Hong Fa's message, but making a few tweaks:

_Carrot Head worships He Tian_

"Perfect."

"You're ridiculous," Hong Fa sighed, but he was smiling.

As always, they sat together on the couch, He Tian praising Hong Fa's cooking as he ate nearly three bowls worth. He had _started_ attempting to help do dishes, but generally Hong Fa grew irritated and pushed him from the kitchen.

But with a clean kitchen, Hong Fa began packing his things up to head home, and He Tian began to bribe him into staying the night.

"I stayed last night," Hong Fa sighed. "I really should go home."

"It really makes me nervous when you go home in the dark, even if I do take you there and then come back," He Tian admitted. "Stay, one more night."

Hong Fa seemed to think it over for a few moments, but he finally sighed, "Alright. But only one more night."

For sleeping over purposes, there was no longer blankets on a couch. Rather they generally sprawled on He Tina's bed, watching movies until both were too tired to keep their eyes open. It was almost a secret weapon of sorts, but He Tian would purposely stay awake longer than Hong Fa. When he stayed awake longer, the boy would eventually roll over and hide his face against He Tian's chest as a source to block out the light from the television.

It allowed the dark haired boy to drape an arm over Hong Fa, maybe slide a hand into the red hair to pet at the soft top or the shaved fuzz underneath.

However, after He Tian coaxed Hong Fa into staying one more night, the boy plopped himself down at the never-used dining room table and started pulling stuff from his backpack.

"You're a nerd," He Tian pestered, climbing atop the table to sit near Hong Fa's book . "Doing homework."

"I got a D on my last calculus test, I can't keep getting bad grades, remember?" Hong Fa mumbled, itching his nose to hide a blush.

"Yes, and I offered to help teach you."

"Who's the nerd now?" Hong Fa sneered back, prodding at He Tian's bare foot with his eraser.

He Tian pursed his lips, watching the redhead pull out his assignment and start scribbling away numbers on the page only to erase them once more. Without a doubt Hong Fa was one of the most stubborn people He Tian had ever met. He was no longer allowed to give Hong Fa a payment for occasionally cleaning his house. He had to negotiate out being able to buy groceries for Hong Fa and his mother whenever they needed. And he knew for a fact when they needed it, as he most likely followed Hong Fa around far more than Hong Fa wanted and was constantly at his house.

In He Tian's pocket, his phone buzzed. He wiggled it out of his sweats to look at it, still remaining on his perch atop his dining room table.

_-math can suck my entire ass- : Blond Bastard (Jian Yi)_

And it gave He Tian an evil, evil idea.

"It seems like Jian Yi is struggling with math, too," He Tian began slyly.

"Mhm."

 **-call me-** : He Tian texted.

_-???- : Blond Bastard (Jian Yi)_

**-just fuckin do it-**

His phone was ringing a second later, and he climbed off the table to answer and stand near the window, "Jian Yi!"

_"Why did you-"_

"Yeah, cutie, I'll help you!" He Tian interrupted with a smirk, hearing a slight scuffle behind him. It sounded as if Hong Fa was getting up from the table.

_"Ew what the fuck-"_

"I'll help you with anything you want-" He Tian began, but the phone was suddenly pulled out of his hand from behind.

"Do your own homework and do your own boyfriend," Hong Fa snapped into the phone before all but throwing it, and then he was grabbing He Tian and attaching his mouth to He Tian's exposed neck.

A surprised grunt escaped the taller boy at the stinging pain that erupted under Hong Fa's mouth. With a trembling hand he cradled the back of the red haired boy's head, tilted his own head to give Hong Fa better access.

Another sharp pain, the feeling of teeth scraping against his skin, and He Tian's blood was not only bursting under the skin from the pressure of a hot tongue and mouth, but his blood was rushing south and hardening his dick in his pants.

"That's so fucking hot," he hissed. "I love when you use teeth."

Hong Fa pulled back with a stern look, "Don't fucking flirt with Jian Yi to piss me off because a hickey won't always be my response."

He Tian's eyes were blown wide, his voice ragged with arousal "Alright. Let me kiss you?"

"No."

Hong Fa walked back to the table, sitting down and leaving He Tian half hard and standing dumbfounded by the window. Immediately he scrambled after the redhead.

"But you-"

"I need to do my homework," Hong Fa smirked. He Tian was thankful that his sweatpants could at least somewhat shield his crotch.

"Christ. I will _do_ your homework, but I want to kiss you so badly."

He Tian sank into a chair next to Hong Fa, whose smug nature was gradually fading into shyness, "You can't want to kiss me _that_ badly."

"Sit on my lap," He Tian requested, licking his dry lips and swallowing hard.

Hong Fa paused a moment, but he stood and hesitantly straddled He Tian, nearly nose to nose as He Tian clenched and unclenched his teeth.

Pale hands came to rest on He Tian's chest, and Hong Fa whispered, "Okay. Kiss me."

And oh did He Tian kiss him. With one arm around his waist and the other gripping the back of Hong Fa's neck, He Tian pressed their bodies flush together, the force of Hong Fa collapsing forward against him nearly tipping the chair.

Fingers tangled into He Tian's dark hair, mouths nipping and brushing against each other. Hong Fa was breathing hard, but then again so was He Tian, and they were far too into each other to think to pull back to breathe and rather panted into the other's mouth.

Hong Fa tasted like stew and lemon tea. He Tian was certain he'd found a new addiction. Or that was his new addiction until Hong Fa's hand slid down He Tian's chest and cupped He Tian's bulge through his sweats.

"Shit," He Tian gasped with a jolt, pulling back abruptly. Hong Fa's lips were red and shiny, his face flushed.

"Sorry- sorry," Hong Fa pulled his hand away immediately, much to He Tian's dismay.

"Please do that again."

His hand shook, but Hong Fa obeyed, meeting He Tian's gaze under his lashes. He Tian's hips pressed up on their own accord, nearly spilling a surprised Hong Fa from his lap.

Hong Fa curled his hand around the girth through He Tian's pants, and He Tian gripped onto the boy with another low groan.

"Is this okay?" Hong Fa asked quietly.

"I've wanted you for so long now."

"I'm hard too, I'm sorry, I've never..."

"Stand up for me," He Tian interrupted, cupping Hong Fa's face in his hands and staring into the nervous blue eyes. "Everything is fine. Promise."

Hong Fa shimmied off in a way that had He Tian's eyes rolling back, but then the solid pressure on his cock was sadly gone. He Tian could see it then that the boy certainly was hard. He Tian stood as well, only to drop to his knees between Hong Fa's legs, looking up at him as he grabbed the boy's trousers.

"Wait-" Hong Fa croaked. "Let me... let me do you first."

"That's the long term goal, babe, I wanna do the fuck out of you-"

It certainly helped Hong Fa relax a bit, as the boy rolled his eyes, "I meant... I want to touch you or suck you or whatever you want."

"As much as I've imagined what it would look like with your dick in my mouth, I've imagined how you look when you orgasm far more."

Rather than an identifiable word coming from Hong Fa, the boy only whimpered, nodding his head. Just to be sure the redhead was 100% on board, He Tian had Hong Fa help remove his pants, letting the boy's dick spring free.

"He Tian..."

"I find it unfair that there isn't a single part of you that's ugly," He Tian murmured, taking Hong Fa's dick in his hand. The boy immediately cried out, grabbing He Tian's wrist and hunching over. He had no idea how to handle the pleasure. They'd only just started and Hong Fa seemed incredibly overwhelmed. "Even your dick is beautiful. But maybe it'd be best if you come lay in my bed."

He Tian half expected.1 a remark about how he was awful at seduction, but Hong Fa only nodded rapidly.

It of course meant that he had to release Hong Fa's cock, which was pink, pretty, and well over 6", not to mention it was placed in a lovely bed of ginger pubes. He led the way, Hong Fa following nervously behind him. His coy clumsiness was such a huge turn on and He Tian had no idea why.

"Should I take my shirt off, too?" Hong Fa asked as He Tian sat on his bed and examined the boy, naked from the waist down.

"I think that's a great idea."

And the redhead before him could then be placed near godliness. Red hair, red flushed skin. He Tian eyed him hungrily. He wanted to _devour_ Hong Fa.

Hong Fa nervously sat on the bed near He Tian, but He Tian placed one hand on his chest and shoved him back. A gasp emitted from the startled boy, and He Tian climbed over him to kiss his lips softly, kiss his way down his neck and over the faint pink scar there. He left purple and red marks down the flushed chest of the boy, biting freckles and kissing the indents of his hip bones.

Hong Fa was completely still beneath him, aside from little jolts with each bite, panting and staring down at He Tian with glossy blue eyes.

But finally, what He Tian had waited for for quite some time, he draped himself between Hong Fa's legs and took Hong Fa's dick into his hand once more, licking a quick strip over the head. Immediately Hong Fa was arching into the touch.

"Holy fuck-" he wheezed.

He Tian laughed. _It was going to be so much fucking fun._

He was relentless. He pinned down Hong Fa's hips, took the boy into his mouth and pressed the flat of his tongue hard against the hot base. His nose was pressed into the musky wiry hair around Hong Fa's cock, and Hong Fa was writhing under him, hands knotted into his hair so tightly that he could hardly pull off to speak to the boy.

"Alright so far?" He Tian chuckled, his voice slightly hoarse.

Hong Fa simply tugged He Tian back down, and He Tian complied, laughing around the girth that he slid between his lips.

" _Jesus_ ," Hong Fa whined, turning his face to the side and biting at his own bicep. He Tian nearly came in his pants like a twelve year old. "That's so good- fuck, fuck, goddamn-"

It only pushed He Tian to please him further, pulling back and lapping at the head before taking Hong Fa to the hilt, swallowing around him. And then, with absolutely no warning, Hong Fa shouted out, hands flying to the bed sheets and yanking as he came down He Tian's throat, back arched, mouth agape, and brow furrowed.

It was a bit of a surprise, but He Tian swallowed it all, only pulling away when Hong Fa squirmed and shoved He Tian's head back, gasping, "Too much!"

He Tian, despite being hard in his own pants, flopped down next to Hong Fa to kiss him, let the boy taste himself.

"You know... ideally it's polite to warn someone before you come down their throat."

"Shit, I'm sorry-" Hong Fa started, immediately looking panicked. He Tian yanked him in and cuddle him close. _How was it possible for someone to be so damn precious?_

"I'm kidding. I don't mind. It was clearly your first time judging by how fast you came... which, isn't a bad thing."

"Was _I_ bad?" Hong Fa asked.

He Tian snorted, "You were the one getting your dick sucked and you ask if you're bad at it. I should be asking you if I was alright."

"It was so fucking fantastic. How do people go back to just using their hand?"

"Excellent question," He Tian smiled into Hong Fa's hair. "On another note, I used to think my favorite color was blue, like your eyes. Now it might be tied with red, because it's so hot how literally your entire body matches your hair when you're turned on."

Hong Fa pushed himself up to meet He Tian's gaze, his eyes wide and his pupils blown. They stared at each other for only a few moments, but then Hong Fa croaked out, "Your turn."

And his hand found it's way into He Tian's pants as their lips smashed together once more.

 


	12. young god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much everyone for the kind words :D

_Don't get cut on my edges_   
_I'm the king of everything_   
_And oh, my tongue is a weapon_   
_There's a light in the gap_   
_That's separating your thighs_   
_And if you wanna go to heaven_   
_You should fuck me tonight_   
_-Halsey / Young God_

_☼_

If Hong Fa hadn't been laying down already, he was certain he would collapse. Not only had He Tian just sucked him to a boneless orgasm, but He Tian's dick was now in his hand and He Tian's teeth were on his collarbone.

They were tangled up in He Tian's bed, and He Tian was pushing his hips against Hong Fa as Hong Fa stroked him.

The dark haired boy's cock felt large and heavy in his palm, and Hong Fa wanted it out in the open so he could see it. And yet he couldn't seem to work up the nerve to remove it from He Tian's sweats.

"Goddamn," He Tian hissed against Hong Fa's skin. "You've never done this before?"

"I'm just touching you how I would touch myself," Hong Fa responded, thumbing a bit just under the head. He Tian gave a grunt that nearly had Hong Fa hardening up again as well.

"Fuck, if you keep this up I'm going to come so fast," He Tian panted, and then he was firmly pressing his lips to Hong Fa's.

"Wait," Hong Fa said, decidedly gathering his courage as he pulled his hand from He Tian's pants, leaving He Tian wildly scrambling to shove his own hand back to replace Hong Fa's. "I want... let's fuck."

"Jesus Christ," He Tian choked in surprise. "We touch each other's dicks once and this is what happens?"

Hong Fa blushed heavily, immediately hating himself for seeming too desperate, but he'd thought He Tian felt the same way, "Oh. Well we don't have to-"

"I want to," He Tian groaned, pulling his hand from his pants as he rolled, sliding his way across Hong Fa's body and pinning the boy onto his back. "But do you?"

"Yes..." Hong Fa breathed immediately. "I really do."

He Tian's pupils were blown so large, and he leaned down to purr into Hong Fa's ear, "I suppose I should match your nakedness, then."

And just like that, with He Tian's weight and He Tian's breath against his skin, Hong Fa was hardening once more as He Tian sat up and all but ripped his clothes from his body.

His bronzed skin was beautiful in the dim lighting of his room, contrasted against the white sheets. He sprawled out on his side, gazing at Hong Fa, but the red haired boy's eyes flitted to the healing scar on He Tian's ribs.

Gently he rolled over, leaning and kissing softly over the pink and raised skin. He Tian's hands settled over the back of Hong Fa's head, and the dark haired boy made a surprised noise.

"So how are we... what are we doing, who is going to like..." Hong Fa spluttered.

"Well," He Tian immediately regained his confidence, smirking down at where Hong Fa was nuzzling against his ribs. "We can do two things. I can ride you, or I can pin you down and fuck you senseless."

Hong Fa spluttered, his heart racing faster at the thought. Either way, he was clueless as to what to do. He'd never done anything sexual before, and something told him He Tian knew.

"I don't... I don't know? I'll try to-" Hong Fa attempted to hide his face.

"Carrot Head," hands pulled at him, practically dragging him up into He Tian's warm, and very naked, embrace. "Hey. Either way I'm going to take care of you. You don't have to be nervous, but if you are just speak up and we can do this another time."

Hong Fa sucked in a sharp breath. He didn't want to wait until another time, He Tian had made him feel so good. He wanted He Tian to feel good as well. It wasn't something he'd willingly admit, but he'd stuck a few fingers inside himself before and imagined them as He Tian's, but it never sparked anything. And yet the thought of being pinned down made Hong Fa squirm.

"Uh... I think I want you to fuck me."

"And you're sure?" He Tian murmured. Hong Fa nodded, but He Tian pressed on. "I want a straight up 'Yes, I want this' before we move further."

Fed up with He Tian's pestering, Hong Fa reached up and seized the boy's hair, "Yes, goddamn it, I want this. Now fuck me."

He Tian flipped Hong Fa off of his chest and onto his back, both still horizontal across the bed, and he pinned Hong Fa's arms near his head, "Careful, now."

Hong Fa was confused as to how he was again was pinned down with He Tian pleasuring him once more, but his dick wasn't complaining where it leaked against his stomach. He Tian ran a finger over the length, making Hong Fa jolt and hiss. But then He Tian's brow furrowed, and he pushed himself away and off the bed to dig in his dresser.

"What?" Hong Fa sat up. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure where my lube is," He Tian murmured, but he tossed a condom packet onto the bed. "I'll find it."

Jealousy churned in Hong Fa's gut suddenly. It was his first time, but how many people had He Tian been with?

"Used it often, huh?"

"If I used it often I'd know where it was," He Tian pointed out, stepping into the hall. His head poked back around to look at where Hong Fa was curling in on himself on the bed. "And before you freak out, I don't just keep a constant supply of condoms. I've only ever had two partners, both just flings. I bought those condoms for _us_."

It made the lump in Hong Fa's throat pass, but a snort escaped him instead. He Tian was still a pervert for buying condoms in hopes of getting lucky.

Hong Fa sprawled back out on the bed to wait for He Tian, and he called out, "Can't we just fuck without the lube?"

A sticky bottle was then tossed into the room, clattering to the floor just short of the bed, "Fuck no. I'd sooner fuck myself with a cactus then go in you dry. I'm an asshole, not a sadist. You need lube basically every time, _especially_ your first, unless you want it to hurt like a bitch."

He Tian entered the room, picking the bottle up off the floor, and then he was standing in front of where Hong Fa was on the bed. The redhead moved to sit up, aiming to kiss He Tian, but he was immediately shoved backwards and his feet were grabbed and pushed up.

"Fuck," Hong Fa croaked. There wasn't any sort of stimulation anywhere, but something about being pushed around was making him _burn._

"Mmm... can I eat you out?" He Tian asked lowly.

Hong Fa gave a startled squeak, "Eat... what?"

"Your ass, obviously."

"No!" Hong Fa gasped. "That sounds filthy, why would you put your mouth there?"

"Because it'll loosen you up and make you feel good," He Tian murmured, his voice dripping with arousal that shot straight to Hong Fa's dick. "Let me eat your ass."

Hong Fa nervously itched his abdomen, but he swallowed hard, "You've got twenty seconds."

"Better get to it then!" He Tian exclaimed happily, and then his face was burrowing between Hong Fa's cheeks.

Hong Fa wasn't expecting pleasure. In fact, he expected it'd simply feel gross and uneasy. But the second the warm tongue flicked against his rim he jolted. It was _sensitive, what the fuck-_

Then boy between his legs nuzzled in closer, lapping his tongue and humming, coating Hong Fa in warm and wet saliva, sending little jolts of pleasure that had him trembling. He grabbed the bed sheets, pulling at them as he arched his back and tried to resist pushing his hips down onto He Tian's face, but he couldn't fight the whimper that escaped his lips.

He Tian's warm and wet tongue eased slightly into Hong Fa, his hands pushing Hong Fa's knees higher towards Hong Fa's chest.

"Oh _fuck_ -" Hong Fa cried out, but He Tian pulled away.

"Twenty seconds is up!" he informed happily.

"You bastard- don't fucking _stop_ , please..."

He Tian wiped spit from his shining lips and wiped his mouth, "It's not gross?"

His voice was so smug, and in another circumstance Hong Fa would tell him to fuck off, but rather he wanted to _be_ fucked, "Please, please, it felt so good..."

"Let's add a finger as well!" He Tian replied happily.

Hong Fa didn't get the chance to ask what that meant, as He Tian's mouth was back where he wanted it. Yet this time, a warm finger slipped in carefully. It was far different from his own fingers inside himself. This finger was longer, curling up and prodding at a spot inside Hong Fa that had him crying out and rocking his hips down.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck, He Tian..."_

"I love how loud you are," He Tian breathed against the puckered skin of Hong Fa's rim. "It's so fucking hot. Feel good?"

"So good, _damn-"_

"I'm adding another finger."

And then two fingers were three, and Hong Fa couldn't keep still. He writhed, wailing out and pleading for more. He Tian seemed desperate as well, rock hard as he rubbed his hips against the bed. But finally, he pulled out his fingers and moved back to shove Hong Fa a bit higher on the bed.

The redhead wanted to protest, but He Tian was climbing and kneeling between Hong Fa's legs, sliding on a condom as he lubed himself up.

"Come on, come on..." Hong Fa begged.

He Tian positioned himself outside Hong Fa's entrance, Hong Fa on his back with his knees to his chest, "Slow... Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

Hong Fa simply squirmed in anticipation, and He Tian pushed in the head. Hong Fa nearly came on the spot. It burned, it was painful most definitely, but it was good. It was _He Tian_ , painful but so sweet with a hint of pleasure, so warm and filling.

" _More."_

He Tian complied, pushing in more, and Hong Fa hissed at the stretch. He Tian was thick, and Hong Fa was biting his lip trying not to come.

"Alright?" He Tian asked hoarsely. "You're so fucking tight-"

"Don't talk," Hong Fa wheezed. "You're gonna make me come..."

He Tian only gave a choked laugh, "Don't you dare, Carrot Head. I haven't even gotten to properly fuck you."

The dark haired boy moved slightly, which certainly hurt more than Hong Fa expected, "Wait, wait, fuck that-"

"Sorry," He Tian said immediately, stiffening. "Fuck, did I hurt you? Should I pull out?"

"No, no..." Hong Fa lowered his legs away from his chest slowly, ignoring how it increased the burn. He wrapped his legs carefully around He Tian's waist. "Stay inside."

He Tian leaned close, nibbling Hong Fa's ear, whispering apologies, and kissing his lips and neck for several minutes until Hong Fa wiggled experimentally. It made both their breaths hitch.

"I can move?" He Tian asked.

"Move..." Hong Fa encouraged throatily.

If Hong Fa had thought He Tian sucking him off had been pleasurable, he certainly wasn't prepared to be fucked. It had him arching his back, scratching up He Tian's back as the boy rocked in and out, He Tian giving low groans and huffs to match Hong Fa's loud cries.

It made him writhe, the heat, the friction. Sweaty skin sliding against sweaty skin, their mouths locked as tongues licked and tasted.

"Fuck, faster, please... you're gonna make me come-" Hong Fa choked.

"Do it," He Tian growled, speeding the roll of his hips. "Come between us, come all over my chest."

Hong Fa's breath hitched, and he pressed up hard as he spilled for the second time between their sweat sticky skin. Through hooded eyes he watched as He Tian pulled out, tugging off the condom and jerking at his dick frantically as he hovered over Hong Fa.

With a shaky hand, Hong Fa reached up to curl his fingers around He Tian's length as well, and that did it for He Tian. The boy's muscles clenched, and he grunted as he spilled onto Hong Fa's torso, his jaw tight and his eyes squeezed shut. He was _so fucking_ gorgeous.

Post orgasm, He Tian collapsed onto Hong Fa, stroking the boy's sweaty red hair, "You felt fucking fantastic around me."

Hong Fa's dick twitched in interest. He wanted a shower, but at the same time he wasn't ready to stop.

"Again?" he murmured after several minutes of soft hair kissing and cuddling close.

"You're speaking my language."

☼

The two became addicted to the feel of each other's skin. They were always touching in some way. Even if they were bickering, they'd be holding hands. Their two months anniversary passed, spent skipping school to have sex, eat food, and banter over what to watch on television while they climbed over each other on the couch to fight for the remote.

People left them alone. Those at school would stare, but they didn't bother them. Wenyi Siwang seemed nonexistent. He Tian hadn't heard from them since he'd stabbed his brother in the arm.

But He Tian was also growing hopelessly attached. Being away from Hong Fa, being alone, it made him feel _empty._ Not so much in an unhealthy way, but in a sickening way that was far too familiar. Hong Fa was the light in his life that He Tian never wanted to leave.

It was after school a few weeks after their two month anniversary that He Tian presented Hong Fa with a gift.

The two were seated on the couch at Hong Fa's, Hong Fa's legs propped on He Tian's lap as the boy played a game on his phone.

He Tian plopped the wrapped box onto Hong Fa's lap.

The boy jumped slightly, "Watch the balls- _wait, shit_ , did I forget something significant? What the hell is this He Tian-"

"No, Carrot Head. Nothing significant, just a surprise for you."

"If you're trying to give me money through this box I'll kick your ass," Hong Fa warned. "I told you I'd get another job, you can't keep paying me. I mess up your apartment more than I clean it now."

He Tian sighed, "This gift is kind of for _when_ you get a job. Just open it, fucker."

Hong Fa dug his heel into He Tian's leg playfully, but he carefully peeled away ribbon and paper to open up the box. Placed inside was a black switchblade, the end golden and shining in the dim living room light.

"What..." Hong Fa croaked. "What is this?"

He Tian took the box and carefully removed Hong Fa's legs from his lap, "Look..."

With a smooth motion, he flicked the handle to flip the blade up and out. The blade itself was golden as well, contrasting against the black handle.

"A knife? What am I supposed to do, threaten the person who interviews me?" Hong Fa asked. "How much even was this?"

"Carrot Head," He Tian sighed. "It's to keep you safe. Carry it with you to and from work, I won't always be able to walk you around, yeah?"

"Well duh," Hong Fa snorted. "But isn't a knife a little drastic?"

"Not with what I deal with, no. If you're with me, you're at risk too. I don't want anything happening to you because of me," He Tian said firmly, making Hong Fa meet his serious gaze.

"I don't think I can just carry around a weapon-"

"It's small enough to hide in your shoe, practically," He Tian pressed. "Just... remember what my brother did to my ribs? You'll have the capability of doing that to anyone who tries to fuck with you."

Hong Fa sighed, taking the blade and closing it, "Thank you... I think... but I can't accept it."

"We've almost been together three months, consider it my early gift?" He Tian tried.

The red haired boy stood, much to He Tian's dismay, "Nope. I know you too well. I can't keep the blade. Besides, my mom would kill me if she knew I had a weapon."

"Just hold on to it for me then. It's mine. But you're holding it for me."

"He Tian-"

"Please," He Tian jumped to his feet as well, taking Hong Fa's face in his hands to come nose to nose with the boy. It was a dirty trick, knowing that He Tian's lips always weakened Hong Fa. "I want to know you're safe."

Hong Fa sucked in a sharp breath, weakening a bit under the gentle touch. Slowly, he nodded, "Fine. I'll keep it in my backpack, but that's it."

A smug smile crossed He Tian's face, and he pressed a soft kiss to the boy's lips, "Fantastic."

"You're a weak bitch," Hong Fa snickered.

And He Tian loved a challenge. So he scooped the boy up to pin him down on the couch, sucking at his neck to remind him just how far from weak he truly was.

☼

"If you don't want to be here that badly, why are you here?" Jian Yi asked, pulling at a strand of his blonde hair and stealing some of Zhan Zheng Xi's chips.

"You guys had a test in calculus," Zhengxi pointed out before Hong Fa had the chance. "He couldn't skip with He Tian."

"He Tian told me he was skipping to get tested for STD's," Jian Yi snickered. "But I'm pretty sure he's fucking with-"

"He's telling the truth," Hong Fa rolled his eyes. "We want to kick condoms out of our relationship, and we know we're both clean, but it's good to be sure."

Hong Fa reveled in the way Jian Yi and Zhengxi's faces paled, and he smirked, "Nosy people can get more information than they wish for. But now that I've taken my test, I've decided I'm leaving once the teachers clear out and head back into classrooms."

"I'll skip class too and watch your back!" Jian Yi volunteered immediately.

"That's fine-" Hong Fa started.

"It'll be bad ass, I can tell you right now," Jian Yi began excitedly, and Hong Fa stood immediately to rush off before Jian Yi could follow, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

The courtyard was freezing, but he remained pressed to the side of the building as he watched teachers conversing near the fence. There was no way to bolt without them seeing, so he'd be forced to wait and hunker out of the wind until they left.

He stuffed his hand into his pockets just as a hand clamped down on his shoulder. He twisted his neck around, expecting Jian Yi to be looking about suspiciously as if they were on some sort of secret mission. And yet he was met with white hair and a snake like grin. Dressed in his usual black was She Li, three boys standing close behind with him blank faces.

"Hi there, Red."

Hong Fa shrugged away from the hand on his shoulder, "She Li, I'm just waiting for the teachers to leave so I can climb the fence..."

"You'll have to wait longer," She Li chuckled. "I brought some friends of mine who want to practice their cricket."

One of the boy's held up a cricket bat, and She Li grabbed Hong Fa by the shirt before the boy could bolt out into the open. Part of him said to scream for help, to pussy out, but a hand clamped over his mouth and he opted to fight back instead.

He bit down hard on the hand, tasting blood, and as the hand yanked back he spat out, "Fuck off-"

The hand, which had formed a first, reconnected with his mouth and silenced him behind a burst of pain. A crack sounded as a solid object collided with his legs, sending him collapsing onto the rough cold ground. Hong Fa couldn't stop the cry of pain that escaped him. His hands desperately tried to shield his aching thighs, but a hard kick to the stomach from one of the boys knocked the air out of him and had him shielding that as well. One was prepared to kick again, one held him down on his side with a foot to his temple, and one threateningly wielded the cricket bat while She Li watched on.

"This'll teach you to deny _me,"_ She Li snarled. "It'll teach that fuck buddy of yours to embarrass me."

"My _fuck buddy,"_ Hong Fa hissed through bloody teeth and lips. "Is going to kill you."

One of the other boy's swung the cricket bat back down against Hong Fa's ribs. Something _certainly_ had cracked that time, leaving Hong Fa coughing weakly and wheezing. _They're going to kill me,_ he thought as the boy with the cricket bat moved towards his head.

Not even the teachers were going to come to his aid, they'd surely all gone back inside. He hadn't been loud enough, hadn't gotten attention to himself in time. But then he remembered, with shocking force, the gift from He Tian in his backpack.

His hand trembled as he fumbled behind himself. His backpack was still attached to his shoulder. Just as his fingers managed to dig into the side pocket where the knife was, the bat was brought down onto his arm.

Throbbing pain coursed through his arm, and he had to fight to curl his fingers in order to grab.

"Should I fracture his skull?" one of the boys asked.

"Do it."

But Hong Fa, gripping the handle tight and flipping the blade up and slicing the boy's leg that was on his head before he propelled himself up against the agonizing pain in his ribs, swung out with the blade just enough to catch She Li's jaw.

"What the fuck?!" A familiar voice croaked, and the four boys all darted away as Hong Fa continued swinging his blade blindly.

"Redhead!"

Hong Fa turned wobbily on his heel, but he collapsed, the blade falling from his throbbing and failing hand. Jian Yi dropped to his knees near him, "Fuck... should I call an ambulance-?"

"Not yet!" Hong Fa gasped hoarsely. His ribs were _stinging._ "M'fine. I'll be okay, just help me up..."

"You can't catch a bus like this..." Jian Yi huffed. "Shit, why didn't you wait for me? Have you told He Tian?"

"Does it look like I've told He Tian?" Hong Fa snapped weakly. "I can't even move my fingers of my right hand or stand up by myself."

"What do you want me to-"

"First put the knife back in my backpack. It was a gift. Then help me to the ramen store a block over, He Tian can meet us there," Hong Fa grunted, clutching his rib cage with his good arm. "If I collapse before we get there, you can call an ambulance, okay?"

"If your boyfriend kicks my ass for this I'm going to be so pissed," Jian Yi groaned, but he leaned to pick up the knife and helped Hong Fa to his feet.

☼

He Tian was finally leaving the doctor's office, shooting Hong Fa a text that he would wait for him outside the school gates to walk to the shops with him. The red haired boy had finally gotten an interview that was coming up in the next few days, and He Tian was determined to buy Hong Fa a nice suit to score him the job.

However, as he weaved his way down the sidewalk, his phone began ringing in his pocket. He had to step out of the flow of the crowd to answer, glancing at the screen to see Jian Yi's name.

"Aren't you in school you blond asshole?" He Tian laughed.

" _He Tian wait_ ," Jian Yi's voice sounded, and it was the most serious He Tian had ever heard him. "Redhead is hurt."

He Tian's blood turned frigid, his hand tightening around his phone, "He what? What the fuck do you mean?"

"She Li and some other fuckers beat the shit out of him with a cricket bat and-"

He Tian had to put a hand against the glass window he stood next to in order to sturdy himself. His vision blurred around the edges, and he didn't know if he was worried or pissed or what he was feeling, but it was so powerful he was certain he'd puke, "Where is he, is he alright? Where is he, Jian Yi, I swear to god-"

"He's sitting right next to me at the ramen store near school but he's in a shit ton of pain, obviously. His mouth his all bloody and-"

"I'm on my way."

He Tian didn't wait for a response, he simply hung the phone up and began shoving his way through the crowd. He was called a slew of curses as he shoved to the front of a line at a bus stop, but there wasn't anything that would stop him from reaching Hong Fa.

He found them sitting in a booth at the back of the ramen shop. Hong Fa was pale, leant up against the wall he was near, and Jian Yi was beside him holding him up and looking around frantically. He Tian's knees felt weak, it was completely foreign. _Never_ did something like this affect him, he could always keep his cool.

"Fuck!" Jian Yi swore as He Tian strode towards them. "You're here- can we call an-"

"Get out of my way and call an ambulance," He Tian snarled. "You should have done that already."

Jian Yi scrambled up from where he was, letting He Tian slide into the booth to replace him.

"Leave him alone," Hong Fa snorted weakly, "I told him not to."

"Shut up," He Tian mumbled, but the threat was weakened as he tugged Hong Fa away from the wall to lean him against his chest and his voice softened. "Why the fuck did you tell him not to?"

"Watch my ribs, they hurt so bad..." Hong Fa wheezed. The boy turned paler if it were possible, suddenly struggling to breathe in enough air.

"Fuck, Guanshan..." he was unable to stop himself from using the boy's real name. Something sharp and painful was gnawing at him, burning his stomach and throat. "Where are you hurt at?"

Jian Yi was speaking to an emergency operator a few feet away, and He Tian felt Hong Fa relaxing slightly into him, "Uh... ribs, my legs, my arm, and my lip. They didn't get the chance to crack my skull open."

"Crack your-" He Tian choked, but instead he shuddered. If only he had _been_ there to protect Hong Fa.  "What happened?"

"She Li's pissed that I turned him down and that you made him look weak, I guess. But I scared them off with the knife you gave me... just after they beat me senseless because I'm fucking weak."

The boy looked sickly, sounded so weak, and He Tian's heart hurt. With shaking hands and breath, He Tian pressed his face weakly into Hong Fa's hair despite his fists tightening with rage, "As soon as I make sure you're okay, I'm going to kill them. I swear to fucking god, I'll kill them. You're not weak. Four against one... that's fucked."

"Uh... the ambulance is coming," Jian Yi squeaked out as he stepped in.

"Go get me a wet paper towel so I can clean his face," He Tian snarled, and Jian Yi scampered away obediently. But then He Tian's voice was quiet and gentle as he turned back to Hong Fa. "I might have to kick your ass your when I make sure you're okay. You're scaring me half to death."

"M'fine," Hong Fa tilted his head just enough to smile up at He Tian with half lidded eyes.

He Tian simply cuddled him closer as they waited for the ambulance. Despite the weakness he felt, there was a deep burning anger inside him. No one hurt what he cared for without consequence. She Li would pay.

 


	13. drive

_Your laugh, echoes down the hallway_   
_Carves into my hollow chest_   
_Spreads over the emptiness_   
_It's bliss_   
_It's so simple but we can't stay_   
_Over analyze again_   
_Would it really kill you if we kissed?_   
_Halsey / Drive_

_☼_

Four fractured ribs, bruised femurs, and a bent radius. Hong Fa wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and sleep, but he was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed being forced to take pulmonary function tests. The nurses were too bossy, his ribs hurt, and everything was pissing him off.

To make matters worse, He Tian had called the police and Hong Fa's _mother._ He Tian stood by the window of Hong Fa's room. Hong Fa could feel the boy's silver gaze on him quite literally the entire time the doctor prescribed him his pain medication as well as the entire time he gave the information to file the police report. In fact, He Tian had gone against the nurses requests and followed Hong Fa everywhere he was allowed. Only when his mother arrived did the raven haired boy move to the side.

Hong Fa's arm had been placed in a cast that already had him itching like mad. Much to his embarrassment, He Tian rented a wheelchair from the hospital that they expected Hong Fa to _sit_ in.

His mother was the one that pushed him towards the bus stop in the chair, but He Tian walked alongside it to hold Hong Fa's good hand. That didn't stop Hong Fa from pouting.

"Are you warm enough, baby?" Seonigmi asked, her red hair slightly frazzled around the scarf she wore.

"Yeah, Ma, I'm fine," Hong Fa sighed, keeping his gaze on his lap. "I've got like three blankets, my jacket, and He Tian's jacket."

Which, Hong Fa had wanted to complain about, but He Tian hardly ever wore a jacket and this particular Adidas brand was soft, black, and smelled like He Tian's scent of smoky peppermint.

"Care to explain what happened again?" his mother asked gently. "I heard it when you told the police, but... Guanshan, I know you've gotten into fights at school before but this one was excessive-"

"He wasn't trying to fight them this time," He Tian spoke up, his voice taking on a dark undertone. "He was attacked."

Seonigmi's took one hand away from the wheelchair to rest it on Hong Fa's shoulder, "Have they bothered you before? Do I need to tell the school?"

Getting the shit kicked out of him and then being grilled about it wasn't something he felt up to. With his free hand, he covered his face. The movement had him wincing and tightening the hold he had on He Tian's hand. Which, of course the boy took notice of, as he gently squeezed back.

"You okay, Carrot Head?"

"It hurts to _breathe,_ I don't want to answer any more questions."

His mother made a sad sound at that, "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm just worried, I don't want something like this happening again."

"It won't," He Tian said immediately. "They aren't going to bother him anymore, I'll be sure of that."

"Again, thank you for calling me," Seonigmi said gratefully. "And thank you for looking out for him."

They arrived at the bus stop, waiting quietly amidst the others there. Hong Fa let his eyes flutter closed, leaning his head back against the wheelchair. A nap sounded heavenly. But unfortunately, He Tian was almost immediately tapping his cheek with a single finger.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty, you can sleep when we get you in your bed," He Tian murmured. Hong Fa opened his eyes to find the boy crouching in front of him. "The bus is here and we have to get you in it."

"I can walk, my legs aren't broken."

"You _can_ walk, but you're a bruise away from a fracture in your legs, your ribs are cracked, and you're not _going_ to walk. Put your arms around my neck. I'm going to carry you."

Hong Fa looked behind to his mother in exasperation, "No fucking way."

"I'll just scoop you up if I have to, but I wanted to avoid hurting your ribs. I figured it'd feel better if your ass has the most pressure on it," He Tian winked. "Or maybe I just want to touch it."

"Sick fuck," Hong Fa grumbled, but he leaned with a wince and looped his arms, careful of his cast, around He Tian's neck.

It took a few moments of groping that seemed far unnecessary, but He Tian finally stood with Hong Fa, "You alright?"

His ribs were throbbing, as were his thighs that he wrapped around He Tian's waist, but he croaked out, "Peachy."

"I'll let you carry the wheel chair on first Seonigmi," He Tian murmured. "Put it in a window seat and then sit by the window across the aisle. Guanshan can sit next to you."

"Don't call me that," Hong Fa grumbled, lifting his good hand to the best of his ability so he could pull He Tian's hair.

They received plenty of stares, but as those on the bus realized that Hong Fa was injured they were no longer as interested. He Tian gingerly placed Hong Fa down next to his mother, and Hong Fa snorted as He Tian all but collapsed into the seat beside the wheelchair.

"Christ, you need to lay off the beef stew," He Tian chuckled. "You're heavy."

"Go fuck yourself."

"I actually don't mind though, I like 'em thick."

Hong Fa shot a nervous glance at his mother who didn't seem to be paying any attention, and then he flipped He Tian the finger as he hissed, "My mother is literally right there, you can't say that shit."

He Tian simply smiled, leaning to kiss Hong Fa's split lip with a gentleness Hong Fa loved. The bus ride itself was quiet, with He Tian pulling the cord near their stop. Hong Fa allowed He Tian to pick him up once more, his nose scrunching as his arms being looped around He Tian's neck pulled painfully at his ribs. But the boy carrying him was putting him back in the wheelchair as soon as he could, tucking him back under blankets and a jacket.

Truthfully, had it just been Hong Fa and Seonigmi, getting to the house and getting Hong Fa inside would have been next to impossible. Hong Fa was a head taller than his mother, there would be no way for her to carry him and the wheelchair. Yet, as they reached the house, He Tian carried Hong Fa inside and to his bedroom. He placed Hong Fa sitting up on his bed, his hands stroking over Hong Fa's cheeks and examining the boy's split lip.

As a force of habit Hong Fa attempted scooting  over to make room for He Tian. The dark haired boy stopped him by gently holding onto his shoulder, "Hold on Carrot Head, the bed is all yours. I can't stay."

Hong Fa frowned, "Places to be? When your boyfriend is injured?"

He Tian smiled, "I know my _boyfriend_ is going to be okay. You had me worried, though."

"Exactly. I figured you'd want to stay here. I was actually going to let you cuddle me for once, but not now. You missed your opportunity, you bitch."

"Shithead," He Tian snorted, but his smile was fading. Hong Fa was immediately concerned.

"Is something wrong?" Hong Fa questioned. "You still haven't told me why you can't stay."

"I've got some people to talk to," He Tian murmured, his jaw tightening.

Hong Fa reached for He Tian's wrist with his own casted arm, "Not your brother."

It wasn't a question, more of a demand. He Tian gently took the cast in his hands, "The fuckers who did this to you."

It wasn't much better. Hong Fa wasn't sure how he could convince He Tian to stay, "The police are probably already questioning them. I'd let you kill them but you don't need to go to jail."

"They won't have any proof it was me," He Tian said lowly. "I don't plan to let them escape with their eyes intact. Or their limbs, truthfully."

There wasn't a hint of sarcasm or humor in He Tian's tone. In full seriousness, the bronze skinned boy planned to gouge out She Li's eyes. Hong Fa finally reached with his good hand to seize He Tian's shirt.

"Don't get caught. If I can't make you stay here, then just make sure you're coming back. Or I'll kick the shit out of you," Hong Fa mumbled.

He Tian smiled once more, leaning and pressing his lips a bit too fervently to Hong Fa. A tongue was slipping into Hong Fa's mouth, tasting him carefully. It no longer came as a surprise to Hong Fa, even the sweetest kisses He Tian loved putting tongue into.

But then He Tian was pulling back, "Don't wanna make your lip bleed again. Rest up Carrot Head. I might come back this evening."

He Tian helped Hong Fa lay back in bed, and Hong Fa could only snort as the dark haired boy retrieved him water, crackers, and covered him thoroughly.

"You're worse than my mother, idiot."

He Tian only chuckled, kissing his middle finger before holding it out to Hong Fa. But then He Tian was leaving, and Hong Fa carefully settled back again his pillows. He'd been given some pain killers for his ribs, which he figured was the only reason he could breathe well enough to speak, but he no longer felt the urge to sleep. Rather he felt anxious, wishing he'd been daring enough to beg He Tian further to stay. Revenge was no longer something Hong Fa cared about. There was a certain boy that was much more important to him.

☼

He Tian was surprised he'd lasted as long as he had without killing something or someone. The sick feeling of worry that has churned in his gut when he'd held a wincing Hong Fa in the ramen store was something he never wanted to repeat again. It heightened his anger, made him feel like he was burning up from the inside out. Hong Fa had mentioned that She Li planned to crack the redhead's _skull._ They could have killed him just by simply beating his torso in general. And they were going to fucking _pay._

He kept his composure together for Hong Fa and Seonigmi. He didn't want them afraid of him or judgmental of the extremes his temper could, though rare, reach. But as he rode the bus towards the school, where many of the boys stayed until dark playing basketball despite the frigid cold, his anger was beginning to escape through trembling hands.

Once off the bus and stalking through the hole in the school gate, the cold night air should have been biting at He Tian's skin. Hong Fa still had his jacket. And yet he felt nothing but the anger. The boys playing basketball paid no mind to him until he blocked a pass and tucked the ball under his arm.

"Evening."

"He Tian?" He Tian recognized a member of Hong Fa's old group of thugs. "Give us back the ball, man."

"Where's She Li?" he asked flatly, and almost immediately a few of the boys took a few steps back.

"Some cops came about an hour ago and took him with them. Dunno what for, probably a lot of shit..." the familiar boy spoke again.

He Tian's gut twisted. The police would go much easier on She Li than He Tian had planned to. The boy was lucky.

"If you're lying, I'll find out," He Tian bounced the ball back. "And just so all of you know, because I don't know who assisted She Li in fucking with Mo Guanshan... but if I ever find so much as a scratch on him that is inflicted by you bunch of fuckwits, I'll slice you open from chin to bellybutton. Got it?"

The group was silent, mouths gaping open. He Tian merely turned and stalked away. Something still wasn't settling right with him, the churning in his stomach wasn't stopping. His feet led him to his own apartment where he broke out his old punching bag. With his shirt stripped from his torso, he hung the bag up in his living room and worked at it, fists flying, until he was panting and sweat dripped down his abdomen, down his face and into his eyes. Old scars on his knuckles had split back open from his lack of boxing gloves.

It was only when he dug his phone out of his pocket that he was pulled from the fog of animosity in his mind. Ten missed calls from Hong Fa, three from Jian Yi, and one that had even come from Zhan Zheng Xi. He had thoroughly planned on calling Hong Fa back first, but his phone was lighting up with Jian Yi's name once more.

 _"Yes?"_ He Tian asked pleasantly.

 _"Did you kill him? Please tell me you're not in prison,"_ Jian Yi groaned from the other end.

_"I'm not. She Li is. The police got to him first. Now if you'll excuse me-"_

_"Your boyfriend wants to talk to you. Here."_

He Tian blanched at that, but Hong Fa's voice sounded from the other end.

 _"You bitch. You won't answer my calls but you answered Jian Yi's?"_ the boy wasn't angry, however. He Tian could almost picture the smirk he'd be wearing.

_"You're with Jian Yi?"_

_"And Zhan Zheng Xi. They came to me and my mother let them in,"_ Hong Fa sighed. He Tian snorted, looking at his bloodied knuckles, but then Hong Fa spoke again. _"Are you coming back?"_

 _"I'm..."_ He Tian sighed heavily. _"Potentially not in the best mindset right now. You won't want me there. I might try to find where She Li lives."_

_"I always want you here."_

It was so unlike the redhead, that He Tian was left in stunned silence. It had to be the pain killers he was on. Hong Fa was never so... open, so willing to show his affection. He Tian pulled at his earlobe.

_"Who are you and what did you do with my Carrot Head?"_

_"Just fucking get your ass back over here, shit head."_

_"There he is."_

He Tian found he couldn't say no. However, he decided he'd walk past the school once more before catching a bus, just to see if they'd been covering for She Li. There were fewer boys playing on the dark court, but they stopped playing and stood hesitantly when they saw He Tian approaching.

"He's not back yet," a boy with short blond hair spoke. He Tian didn't recognize him, but figured the boy had been present earlier in the evening.

"Does anyone happen to know where he lives?"  He Tian asked, trying to keep his tone pleasant. He was met with silence. "Really? No one at all?"

"He bounces around. Either with his brother or alone, but I don't know where either places are," a boy with shaved hair mumbled.

"I see," He Tian picked at his knuckles that were already scabbing over. "Enjoy your game, boys."

And finally, He Tian headed back to Hong Fa's.    Seonigmi let him in, holding a finger to her lips but waving him to Hong Fa's room. He was quite fond of the woman and the trust she held for them. They'd fucked several times before in Hong Fa's small bed, and she either didn't know or never spoke about it.

The boy was dozing, much to He Tian's surprise, and Jian Yi and Zhengxi had already left. His plan was to sleep on the floor so he wouldn't disturb Hong Fa, but blue eyes flickered open and landed on He Tian.

"You didn't kill anyone yet, right?" Hong Fa asked, his voice hoarse with sleep.

"Nah," He Tian chuckled, sitting near the boy before drowning. "Your shirt has blood stains on it from your lip. Let me help you out of it."

Hong Fa winced as He Tian helped him sit up, clutching his side and taking short gasps for air. He Tian's heart was clenching, but he remained silent as he gently lifted Hong Fa's arms over his head and eased his shirt off the boy. He himself had received fractured ribs before after being run over by bike by a member of Wenyi Siwang. It had been when he was younger, and the boy who ran him over was young too. He Tian remembered his brother kicking the shit out of the kid for it, and it only made him think how the tables had flipped. Now his brother wanted to kick the shit out of _him_ and he wanted to kick the shit out of his brother.

"My mother made me call and rearrange my job interview I had tomorrow."

"That stinks, but it was a good idea."

"And I have to go to court because of She Li," Hong Fa murmured. "The police dropped by to see if we wanted to press charges, and my mother is. I have to go give my testimony."

He Tian paused, dropping the dirty shirt to the floor, "Oh?"

"Will you um..." Hong Fa turned red enough to match his hair, and He Tian fought a smirk. "Will you come with us? My mother and me, I mean."

"No fuck you," He Tian snorted, but then he took Hong Fa's chin in his hands "Duh. I'm not letting you go alone. Plus I'd like to get a few words in to She Li, if I'm able."

However, Hong Fa used his non-casted arm to grab He Tian's wrist, "What the fuck have you done to your knuckles now?"

"Punching bag," He Tian murmured. "It's fine. You need sleep."

"Your going to end up having knuckles so swollen one day that you can't use your hands, you idiot," Hong Fa grumbled.

He Tian immediately shoved his way into the bed with Hong Fa, snuggling close, "Ehhh..."

"Ouch, watch it!" Hong Fa gasped. "My ribs-"

"I hardly touched you!" He Tian snorted, but he pressed an apologetic kiss to Hong Fa's temple. "We left the light on."

" _You_ left the light on," Hong Fa grumbled.

Eventually He Tian was pestered into getting up and turning it off, but before they went to sleep, He Tian pressed his lips over Hong Fa's ear, "I should get my test results back in a few days. Then I'll know if I can fuck you skin to skin."

There was a coughing nose that escaped the red head resting near his own, and Hong Fa spat out, "Damn it, He Tian, if you make me hard right now when I can't do anything about it, I swear to God."

He Tian had to silence his laughter before he ended up on the floor.

•••

He Tian, in a way, became Hong Fa's caretaker. He started spending the night with Hong Fa so he could wheel him to school the next morning, covered in several blankets and bundled up warm. Hong Fa demanded after a week in a wheel chair that he be allowed to walk to school once more, but He Tian still stayed since the boy's ribs were injured as was his arm.

Shoving in a bed together at night certainly led to some uncomfortable circumstances, especially since Hong Fa's right hand was unusable. They would end up with their hands down the other's pants, stroking and squeezing as they nipped and sucked at the other's mouth.

It was two Friday's after Hong Fa's incident that He Tian finally agreed to ditch the wheelchair entirely. Still, they took it slow on the way to school, walking at Hong Fa's pace. His ribs were thankfully healing fast, but they still ached with the cold and with sudden movements or stepping too heavily.

They skipped the bus stop near Hong Fa's house in favor of picking up breakfast. It was at the next stop that He Tian was seizing Hong Fa by his bad arm, thoughtlessly.

"Go back. Just turn around and keep walking."

"Fuck no, we're almost to the restaurant and it's freezing-"

"I don't have time to argue. Go-"

"Brother."

He Tian turned Hong Fa away, pressing himself against the boys back and forcing him to walk fast back the way they had came. Because up ahead, leaning against the side of an old shoe store, was his brother a long with three other members of Wenyi Siwang.

Hong Fa spluttered out protests as He Tian tried forcing him into the nearest alley. There weren't any fucking stores open near them, and He Tian was debating breaking a window to get Hong Fa inside of one. To get Hong Fa safe.

The men were following them, He Tian could hear them.  He swung himself around, standing tall as he did his best to block the alleyway, "Hi, boys! What brings you-"

They were just as close as he had anticipated, and a blow to his stomach silenced him, but didn't faze him. He swung his fist out as well,  but his arms were grabbed by two of the members. He recognized them as the brothers Kim Heise and Kim Baise.

But his thoughts were not on his own safety as one of them grunted and shoved him to the ground, "Keep quiet."

He Tian didn't speak, but he didn't stay quiet. He let out a bellow of rage, pushing with all his might against the hands holding him.

"Get the fuck off him you bastards!" Hong Fa shouted, swinging at them with his casted arm. And then Jiefeng was reaching for Hong Fa, a blade in his hand.

"Stop!" He Tian roared. "Don't touch him, get the fuck off me!"

His face was smashed back into the sidewalk. He needed to be loud, needed to get attention. If it wasn't so goddamn early in the morning-

"He Tian!" Hong Fa yelled, his voice sounding further away.

"If you hurt him-" He Tian snarled, but the two men released him and bolted. He Tian scrambled to his feet, but his heart sank. A limp Mo Guanshan was being stuffed into a black car that had pulled up near the sidewalk, Jiefeng and the other three men jumping in as well.

He Tian couldn't see straight. Pure adrenaline propelled him forward, and he managed to seize the car door before they could close it completely.

"Guanshan!" he screamed. " _Guanshan-"_

"Call the police and he won't live. See you at the warehouse," Kim Heise spat, slamming the door once more, this time on He Tian's fingers. The car was screeching off down the road before the door was closed all the way.

He Tian knew very well where the warehouse was. He never wanted Hong Fa anywhere near the warehouse. His heart was erratically beating in his chest, his hands shaking. Hong Fa's phone lay abandoned on the curb where it'd been ripped from his pocket.

There wasn't much time. The one person that made He Tian happy, the person He Tian had come to _love_ had been taken by the one thing he feared most. And he was terrified they wouldn't give him back. Even so, He Tian broke into a stumbling run. The warehouse was across the city, and He Tian would rather be killed before he let the group that owned him hurt his favorite person in the world. He had to ensure Guanshan was safe. Even if it meant He Tian had to die.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the comments! c: but as for the plot... when it rains, it pours.


	14. castle

_Now my neck is open wide_   
_Begging for a fist around it_   
_Already choking on my pride_   
_So there's no use crying about it_   
_-Halsey / Castle_

_☼_

Hong Fa ached everywhere. Being yanked around had sent blinding pain through him, and all he could remember before arriving at a rundown warehouse at the edge of a river was seeing He Tian pinned to the ground by the men in the car with him, and being stuffed into a car.

A deep worry for the dark haired boy churned in his gut as the car slid to a silent stop. Terror had him frozen in place, daring not to look at the faces near him. The man to his left grabbed his casted arm's bicep.

"Red here is conscious."

And to his right, Jiefeng was leaning into his line of vision, "You passed out without us even knocking you in the head. Impressive."

Hong Fa remained silent. He'd fucking passed out because the bastards had knocked him in the ribs so hard he saw stars. His breathing wasn't any more troubled than before, however, so he figured they hadn't been fully broken. Jiefeng grabbed his hair suddenly, dragging Hong Fa's face close to his own. Hong Fa so badly wanted to spit on him.

"We can go inside whenever," a man in the front seat, one of the fuckers that had held He Tian down, informed.

"Hmm..." Jiefeng murmured, and Hong Fa could feel his warm breath. He smelled of smoke, but it wasn't at all like He Tian. It was sour, and it had Hong Fa jerking away. "What does my brother see in you? What has him guarding you so heavily?"

Hong Fa only scowled. However, he was quickly being dragged from the car. Walking had been something he'd forced He Tian into letting him do within the past few days, but as he was yanked towards the warehouse he'd have given anything to be back in the wheelchair with He Tian behind him and tipping him onto two wheels, leaning over him and nipping his nose, kissing his lips despite him practically being upside down.

The inside was not at all what Hong Fa expected. Despite the ragged look of the outside, the inside of the warehouse was beautiful. It was adorned with artwork, large statues and busts lined the walls following a long hallway with black and white tile. A massive wooden door was at the end, and Hong Fa was all but shoved inside of it.

Again, it wasn't what Hong Fa expected. Lush carpet was under his feet, chandeliers hung above, and it all made sense as to why He Tian had the money he had. Men lined the back wall, the windows above them were perhaps the most unorganized part of the room, as boards covered them. Some of the boards had been made into shelves that plants rested upon.

But also along the far wall, there was a fireplace, although Hong Fa couldn't remember smoke escaping out of the top of the warehouse. Elegant furniture was spread near the fire, and sitting upon a leather black sofa was a man that had Hong Fa stumbling.

The man had nearly a spitting image of He Tian. Or rather, He Tian was the spitting image of the man on the sofa. Dark and _sharp._ Sharp jaw, sharp nose, sharp silver eyes. The eyes that seemed to pierce into Hong Fa's very being. And yet the gaze from the man wasn't  warm like He Tian's at all, but rather had Hong Fa shaking where he stood.

"Father," Jiefeng stated as he dragged Hong Fa towards the man. Hong Fa averted his gaze as he was shoved to his knees directly in front of who was undoubtedly He Tian's father. "We got him."

The man leaned to the side, his arm on the couch's arm rest and his head resting in his hand, "Was your brother left alive?"

Hong Fa's stomach lurched. Were they supposed to kill He Tian? Had they _succeeded?_ Jiefeng didn't respond, and Hong Fa boldly snapped his head around, "What the fuck did you do to him, where is he?"

"He'll be on his way here," Jiefeng shoved Hong Fa's head forwards once more. "I didn't kill the little bitch."

Hong Fa heaved a sigh of relief, but it was short lived. He Tian was on his way, to family members of course, but family members who apparently despised him.

"And what exactly is your name, Red?" the man on the couch asked.

Hong Fa furrowed his brow, fighting the urge to curse at the man. Something told him that he was not at all safe despite the man's calm exterior.

"Sounded like He Tian called him Guanshan."

Hong Fa kept his face blank, but the man leaned forward, close enough to seize his chin in a tight grip, "I go by Shashou, and Guanshan? You're going to get me what I want."

☼

Sweat dripped into his eyes despite the cold, but they were already burning for an entirely different reason. His lungs burned, his legs shaking, but he only pushed himself faster. He couldn't move fast _enough._ But he was close. The warehouse was so incredibly close, and He Tian was going to make sure Hong Fa escaped far, far away from the terrible place. The fact he'd been taken there in the first place had He Tian ripping at himself. _Stupid._ They'd warned him not to get close. He had done it anyway. _Selfish._

In his grip was Hong Fa's backpack that had been left in the alley. The red haired boy didn't even have his knife to defend himself. Granted, it was for the better. A knife would be seen as a threat, and Hong Fa would be harmed. He Tian felt like puking.

By the time he reached the warehouse, he all but collapsed against the door, beating on it, "Give him back, you can't have him! Open the goddamn door-"

Much to his surprise, a single member opened the door willingly. He had to have been new, as he wasn't recognizable and wouldn't look at He Tian, but He Tian wielded the knife from Hong Fa's bag, pressing it to the member's throat.

"They're in the main room," the man croaked.

He Tian considered using him as a hostage, but Wenyi Siwang wouldn't care. One member down wouldn't cause them any sort of problem. So with a second wind and pure adrenaline, He Tian walked on firm and sure legs down the long hallway and shoved open the large door.

Hong Fa was the first thing he saw, facing him on his knees with his arm wrapped around his ribs and He Tian's father standing behind him. He didn't seem to be harmed further than he had previously been, but he was gagged and his legs appeared bound.

His blue eyes flitted up to lock with He Tian's, and while they had been dull with his brow furrowed in the way he always had it, they immediately became panicked, a muffled noise escaping him.

"Quiet down now," He Tian's father, _Shashou,_ murmured pleasantly, but gave a rough tug to Hong Fa's hair that had He Tian livid. "Welcome home, son."

"Let him go," He Tian demanded. "I'm here now, let him go."

"I'm not sure if we can do that," Shashou sighed. "Either he joins us, or he's a traitor and a spy and he'll have to be killed."

He Tian's blood ran cold, " _No."_

Neither option was something He Tian wanted. Joining Wenyi Siwang was merely a slow death. It was likely he'd be kept as a lower ranking member who'd only be used as target practice. And of course, he didn't want to see Hong Fa killed before his eyes either.

"We've asked him if he wished to join, and he denied us, but we thought if _you_ asked him it'd be a different story," Shashou said.

Hong Fa shook his head frantically, his eyes desperate and... damp? The boy looked near tears, and He Tian took another step forward.

"He's innocent, father, he... he can just go free, he doesn't need to join and he doesn't need to be punished. He won't tell a soul and I'll never see him again if that's what it takes, I'll stay here-"

"No, no... you've been a traitor, too," Shashou chuckled darkly. Towards the side of the room, Jiefeng stepped forward and yanked his sleeve up to reveal a scar, the stab wound where He Tian buried Jiefeng's knife into the man's own arm. In retaliation, He Tian pulled his own shirt up to flash the scar on his ribs.

"Brothers will be brothers. I don't care about your childish spats. I'm referring to your act of dawdling with someone who is not of the family. Telling someone who is not of the family _about the family."_

"He doesn't know about us " He Tian swore, keeping his eyes locked on Hong Fa's panicked exterior. "I just told him it was dangerous. I never told him why or how or-"

He Tian was becoming a quivering mess in front of his father. He did every time. _Spineless._

"Shut up, He Tian," Shashou snarled. "Ask him. Ask him if he'll join us, maybe he'll say yes to you."

A step closer had Jiefeng shouting out, "Come closer and he dies right now."

"Ask him."

Hong Fa shook his head frantically, and He Tian swallowed hard. Hong Fa wasn't just saying no, he was desperately trying to get something across to He Tian, his eyes pleading.

"You're lying about something..." He Tian whispered. "There's a catch."

Shashou snorted, "Fine. What a way to ruin our fun. But you're right. We wouldn't let the red haired rat in even if he agreed."

Panic coursed through He Tian, "Then let him go, oh fuck-"

"We have an ultimatum. As you are _both_ traitors, we can torture Red here to death while you watch, knowing all of this could have been prevented had you simply _listened._ Or _you_ can kill Red. Quick and painless," Shashou was speaking, but He Tian's ears were ringing so loudly he could hardly hear. He collapsed to his knees, vaguely hearing Hong Fa give a muffled cry of his name.

"It can be me..." He Tian croaked out. "Please, it can be me."

"You're going to kill him?" Shashou asked pleasantly.

" _No!"_ He Tian wheezed. He couldn't breathe. His chest was constricting, his vision blurring.  And then he did what he had vowed never to do in his life, what had to be his absolute last resort. He begged. "Torture me, torture me all you want and then kill me but let Guanshan go. _Please, God, please..."_

"Pathetic," Jiefeng spat.

Hong Fa had become frantic, shaking his  
head and giving muffled shouts from under the cloth in his mouth. However, Shashou bellowed out, "Quiet! We... I think we will be able to accept your offer. You will be moved to the absolute lowest rank. You will suffer, and if you're killed, no one will be punished for ending your life. In three months, you'll be removed from Wenyi Siwang completely. But I highly doubt you survive that long."

Hong Fa made a strangled sound.

"Yes, yes, okay," He Tian breathed shakily. "Just let him go. You have to swear that you'll never bother him again."

"Certainly."

"No!" Hong Fa was suddenly bellowing, somehow managing to get the gag from his mouth. It was still wrapped around his chin, but he attempted to yank away from Shashou only to be shoved forward.

"Stop!" He Tian lunged forward. Guns were pulled, but Shashou lifted his hand.

"If there is a single bullet fired, the person who shot it will be eating another," Shashou said evenly. "We keep our word. The red haired boy is to go free."

So He Tian dropped down to where Hong Fa had collapsed, where he was gasping for air. As gentle as possible with shaking hands, He Tian pulled Hong Fa into his arms and shielded the boy as best as he could as he whispered into Hong Fa's ear, "Guanshan... are you hurt? Fuck, Guanshan, I'm so sorry."

"You're not-" Hong Fa wheezed. "You're not doing this, I won't let you."

He Tian felt like he was breaking. Hong Fa needed to be persuaded to go. To go far, far away and never think of returning for He Tian.

"You're lucky," He Tian forced out through tight lips. "T-that I'm letting you off easy. This was my plan all along. I- I didn't want to be with you anymore."

Hong Fa saw straight through the lie, "Stop. I didn't fall for it the first time, it's not going to work now."

"I never wanted... I never wanted to be with you," He Tian wheezed, but he held Hong Fa just a bit closer. "Go before I change my mind and- before I kill... I could still kill y-"

He Tian couldn't even make the threat, the words choking off in his throat. Hong Fa pushed away with difficulty, looking to the people that surrounded them, and He Tian kept a careful grip on him still in case he had to shield him.

"I'm not leaving you here."

He Tian looked to his father, "Let me speak to him alone. You know you've won, so just put us in a room where you know I won't try anything, and let me talk to him alone."

Shashou narrowed his gaze, "Five minutes. Any longer and we're keeping Red."

"It'll only take two," He Tian said immediately. "He's leaving this place."

Hong Fa stubbornly shook his head, but He Tian guided him up off the ground and shielded him. His father sat back down, but a few other members guided He Tian and Hong Fa back out into the hallway, shutting the door behind them.

"We'll be right outside," they warned, and then they were exiting the hallway and leaving He Tian and Hong Fa alone.

"I'm not leaving-" Hong Fa began, but He Tian simply pulled Hong Fa's phone and knife from his pants pocket and slipped it into Hong Fa's jacket- _He Tian's_ jacket that Hong Fa was wearing.

Wordlessly, He Tian zipped it up, his lips pressed together tightly. He couldn't meet Hong Fa's gaze. The blue eyes, undoubtedly filling with tears, would shatter him further.

"You should walk a few blocks and call Jian Yi and Zhengxi to come meet you and take you to the hospital again," He Tian mumbled. "Don't walk home, after being shoved around like you were your ribs need checked."

"Stop it," Hong Fa demanded, seizing He Tian's shirt in his fists. "Just fucking stop. Don't act like this is okay, you are _not_ letting them kill you. I won't let you."

"Well they're not killing you, and I- christ, Guanshan, I can't... the second option isn't even-"

"If they would let you go I'd let you kill me without even-"

He Tian couldn't listen anymore. He spun around and stumbled a few steps towards the large door, back to the room where his father was, "Go Guanshan. Go home. It's over. We're over."

It was quiet, neither of the boys moving for several moments. But a hoarse sob broke the silence, and He Tian felt Hong Fa stumble into him from behind. Fists clenched onto He Tian's shirt, Hong Fa's face burrowing into He Tian's back and creating a wet spot there.

"That's not fair, you can't _do_ that," Hong Fa sobbed. He Tian's already crumbling heart might as well have turned to dust. His very soul ached at the sound of Hong Fa's cries, and he hung his own head as tears leaked free.

"We don't have much time, Guanshan, please..."

"I fucking love you, you bastard," Hong Fa sobbed. "You don't get to make me love you and then _leave_ me."

He Tian spun around, pulling Hong Fa flush to his chest. Ideally he had always thought that if he were ever in his final days, he'd want to fuck until he couldn't anymore, would want to kiss until his final _minutes._ But with his death certainly in the foreseeable future, he just wanted to hold Hong Fa for as long as he could.

"Would it be unfair if I said I loved you too?" He Tian croaked.

" _Yes,"_ Hong Fa wailed, clinging tighter. "Please, please, try to escape with me we can-"

"We can't," He Tian mumbled against the crown of red hair. "I won't risk your life like that."

The doors to outside opened back up, blasting the two boys with cold air, "Time is up. It's now or never, Red."

"Never," Hong Fa spat, gripping onto He Tian tightly. He Tian pried him off, however, kissing his forehead and straightening the boy's jacket.

"Don't fail calculus," He Tian cleared his throat, trying to stand tall and strong for the boy shaking apart in front of him. "Keep up your asshole personality... but smile now and then, okay?"

"He Tian stop-"

"I'll probably be back to haunt your ass, anyway."

"I'm not leaving you."

The dark haired boy was slowly maneuvering Hong Fa to the doors. Even then, the boy refused to let go. He Tian swallowed hard. He hadn't wanted to be cruel, but it would take scaring Hong Fa away before the boy would leave.

"If he doesn't start walking away... put a bullet through my head," He Tian choked, averting his gaze. " _My_ head. Don't hurt Guanshan or I'll rampage until the moment I'm shot down."

" _No, fuck-"_

"I'm sorry," He Tian whispered, and he made the mistake of looking to Hong Fa's puffy eyes one last time before he leaned forward just enough to send the boy stumbling in surprise, and then he was yanking the door to the warehouse closed. Even through the heavy door he could hear Hong Fa's responding wail.

He finally collapsed to his knees in the hallway, sobbing into his hands. It was only a short matter of time before he was dragged from the door and into the warehouse garage by his shirt and hair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's about 2 chapters left to go now! thank you so much all who have read, commented, and left kudos! ilysm


	15. trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ☼
> 
> HI FRIENDS. I am so sorry it took me a month to get this out. I've been so busy with the holidays and what not plus i'm lazy but. Yes. Here this is. Almost done. I hope it meets your standards.
> 
> It has also been on wattpad for a few days and I swear I published it here two nights ago and I was like "Hmm there's no comments at all I wonder why?" AND IT IS BECAUSE IT DIDN'T ACTUALLY PUBLISH. I was so salty. But here it is.

_Don't forget me, don't forget me_  
_I wouldn't leave you if you'd let me_  
_When you met me, when you met me_  
_You told me you were gonna get me_  
_-Halsey / Trouble_

_☼_

"The warehouse is completely empty, son," the policeman informed Hong Fa, making his already weak knees give out. "It's the right place. All their belongings are here, but the group is gone. Son? Are you alright?"

The red haired boy remained collapsed on the pavement, his head between his knees. In the short time he'd been away from the warehouse, the time it took him to painfully sprint three blocks, they'd completely evacuated? It was impossible. _The group is gone._

_He Tian. He Tian is gone._

To make matters worse, if the group knew the police had gotten involved, He Tian could be killed immediately. Yet Hong Fa couldn't have just let them _hurt_ He Tian, he couldn't let He Tian die all because of him. Calling the police was the only thing he could think to do.

Hardly aware of what was happening , Hong Fa found himself being loaded into an ambulance and being all but strapped to a gurney. An I.V was jabbed into his hand, but he couldn't feel it. He was completely numb. Hands pinned down his shoulders as someone screamed. It was only as his vision began darkening around the edges that he realized that _he_ was screaming. And then everything was dark and cold and _lonely._

His mother was with him when he groggily opened his eyes once more, his mind scrambling and racing to make sense of where he was.

Hospital. Warehouse. He Tian.

Reality was going to be a fucking bitch, "Did they find him? Please..."

Seonigmi's head snapped up from the book she read, and she scrambled to her feet, "Oh baby, thank God you're okay..."

"He Tian," Hong Fa croaked. "Did they find him?"

His mother stopped by his bed, gently seizing his hand in her own. However, she wouldn't meet his gaze. Hong Fa's stomach churned.

"The police told me what happened... they haven't found any of them."

Just like that the room was spinning again. Hong Fa clamped his hands over his face as the tears welled up behind closed eyelids. _No, no, no-,_ "He saved me. That selfish son of a bitch went with them so they wouldn't kill me. I have to go find him, I have to look-"

He struggled to sit up, his ribs aching, but his mother gently pushed him back down and pulled a strange cord by his bed, "Guanshan, baby, please..."

A nurse came rushing in, "Is everything- oh. I'll request sedation for him again."

"You sedated me?" Hong Fa wheezed. "I don't want it, stop, I have to find him-"

His hands and the front neck of his hospital gown were growing strangely wet, and only when his mother seized his face to meet his gaze did he realize he was sobbing. The nurse had sprinted from the room, but two more returned and injected something into his I.V bag. Almost instantly he felt his limbs growing weak again. His chest was burning far deeper than just his ribs, but not even forced sleep was taking the burn away.

"I'm so sorry, Guanshan," his mother was crying as well.

Darkness blanketed him once more. He longed more than anything to wake up in a large bed with He Tian using him as a sort of pillow, or to wake up cramped in his twin bed draped over a warm chest. But only scratchy hospital sheets and a dull beeping greeted him.

The darkness seemed far more inviting after that. Hong Fa was checked out a few days later. He ignored all calls from Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi, only using his phone to call the police and check on He Tian's case that seemed to come to a dead end at the warehouse.

Vaguely he felt guilty, curled in his bed with the lights off. His mother was clearly worried sick about him, taking days off of work to care for him. She hadn't even taken off work when he had been far more injured, as He Tian had assured her that he'd look after Hong Fa.

On his eighth day out of the hospital... or perhaps it was his ninth, he was losing count... Hong Fa hadn't left his room. He hadn't gone to school, and hardly sat up to eat and drink the food and water his mother would bring him. Jian Yi and Zhengxi finally showed at his front door. Seonigmi sent them straight to Hong Fa's room in hopes that they'd know how to cheer the boy up. However, the first thing Jian Yi asked had Hong Fa out of the bed with intent to wring the blond's neck.

"Is he dead?"

Zhengxi intervened, of course, yanking Jian Yi behind him and holding out a hesitant hand to the panting Hong Fa. Hong Fa felt like he was freezing solid from the feet up, his knees locking and his jaw taunt.

"We're sorry, Red, we are... we've only heard the rumors though and we just wanted to make sure you were okay," Zhengxi explained.

"I'm fine."

It was one of the biggest lies he'd told. His chest squeezed tighter, and he shakily sat back down on his bed. The other two boys shared a glance that Hong Fa caught, and he averted his gaze to his bedside shelf where the pocket knife He Tian had given him rested, looked to his pillow that He Tian's jacket was bunched on.

"He's alive?" Jian Yi questioned further. "I just... I just want to know, he was my... friend."

 _Friend._ Hong Fa wished the pain he felt was as simple as the loss of a friend. He'd never quite had someone he could even call a friend, but he knew for certain the aching in his chest was far too deep than it to be due to the loss of a friend, and he'd heard how much that hurt.

"Red?" Zhengxi pressed softly.

"I don't know," any sort of fight drained from the boy, his shoulders slumping. "Can you just... can you guys go? I don't know. I don't know where he is."

"Then tell us what happened!" Jian Yi huffed.

And it stung, because he could almost hear _his_ voice inside of his mind, could see dark hair and bronze skin sauntering over and flicking Jian Yi in the forehead as _he_ laughed in the deeply rich voice of his, " _Blondie, stop being a nosy shit."_

"It's all because of me."

It was all he said before he slipped back under his covers, turned his back on the boys in his room, and burrowed his face into He Tian's jacket as tears slipped from his eyes for what felt like the millionth time. He hadn't even cried as many times when his father had gone to prison.

☼

It felt like months had passed. He Tian didn't even know anymore. He had tried keeping track of the days in the beginning, but now he couldn't differentiate day from night. Everything hurt. Granted, being sprawled on a hard, cold, stone floor certainly didn't help. His leg, torso, and head were sticky with blood, and he really had to piss but bathroom trips were a rarity. He'd already been forced to soil his clothes several times previously, and being given fresh clothes to wear was a gift, more of a treat to the people who had to touch him to hurt him.

"Traitor."

A deep voice boomed, and the darkness he was in was suddenly illuminated. He Tian squinted against the burning white.

"Oh hey. Is it beat-the-shit-out-of-He-Tian o'clock?" he croaked.

"Watch your fucking mouth."

Something heavy clanged in his direction, and he flinched into himself. Flinching was something he had once considered weak, and yet that was until he had been held captive in a dark basement and used as a punching bag.

However a stale piece of bread landed before him, and he shakily sat up to shove it into his mouth in hopes of soothing the bile churning in his stomach.

"Gourmet dining, let me tell you," He Tian mumbled around a full mouth. "Thanks, pal."

It appeared to be Jihyu, an older member, that had brought him the food. However, pal was certainly not the appropriate term. It only seemed to piss the man in the doorway off.

"We can still hunt down that red haired fucker and slit his throat."

 _Fuck that._ At least once a day He Tian demanded to speak to his father in regards to Guanshan's safety. He Tian shoved himself to his feet immediately, his legs throbbing as he shoved a dirty and broken finger in Jihyu's direction.

"You can't. You _won't,_ because I'll gouge your eyes right out of the fucking sockets with my fingers if you so much as threaten him like that, got it? Just forget he exists."

_God knows I'm trying to._

He Tian missed him. He missed Guanshan so fucking much. But as long as the boy was safe, He Tian would accept what he was receiving. It's what he deserved for putting the redhead in danger in the first place.

The fact that he missed that furrowed brow, the shy smile and blushing cheeks, the soft downy hair that felt so wonderful between his fingers. Missed the soft skin he could run his fingers across, the cold hands, the slightly squishy and ever so ticklish stomach that he could burrow his face into... none of that mattered anymore. Keeping Guanshan safe is what mattered.

Jihyu only ignored He Tian, slamming the door and shrouding him in darkness once more. He Tian sighed, feeling his way across the hard floor for the cold wall he could lean against. Even so, fear curled in the pit of his stomach at the thought of them going after Guanshan all because He Tian didn't know how to keep his mouth shut. He vowed to himself to be quieter in their presence, to just accept things and not talk back.

He wasn't alone long, however, as three other members shoved their way into the dark room. It was most certainly beat-the-shit-out-of-he-tian o'clock.

☼

The following month was the shittiest month of Hong Fa's life. She Li was barely punished for his crime of beating Hong Fa, got off with simple community service and anger management classes. Both of which weren't working, as She Li often still tried to shove Hong Fa around in the hallway.

Hong Fa didn't give a shit about that. He walked through school in a daze when his mother forced him back. Walking without He Tian poking fun and holding his hand or throwing an arm around him ached to his bones. Jian Yi and Zhengxi, for whatever reason, had somewhat glued themselves to Hong Fa's side. Hong Fa often told them to leave him alone, but they remained even so. They acted a bit as his bodyguards, and it kept She Li away, so Hong Fa finally just let them.

His grades slipped. And of course all he could fucking think of was He Tian telling him not to fail calculus. He was failing calculus. His mother was worried sick about him, but as Hong Fa couldn't find a job to help bring in a bit of money she was back to working extra hours.

Truthfully he simply shut himself off from everyone. He rarely slept, kept awake by nightmares of horrible things happening to He Tian, or almost even worse, good things about He Tian. Being held by He Tian. Kissing He Tian. Wrestling around for stupid shit like his phone or the remote. And then he'd wake up to find that none of the good dreams were true, but the bad ones _could_ be. He didn't know where He Tian was. He didn't know if He Tian was alive. And it made him feel like he was dying inside.

It had been a month and two days since He Tian had given his life up for Hong Fa. That was the clearest thing in Hong Fa's mind that he could keep track of.

Jian Yi and Zhengxi had walked him to his house against his wishes. Much to his surprise, his mother was home and preparing dinner.

"Guanshan, come sit and talk with us?" she requested.

Hong Fa immediately spotted the four chairs at the table, two of which Jian Yi and Zhengxi moved to sit at. There was a strong inkling of what they wanted to talk about, and Hong Fa wasn't about to just sit down and have a casual conversation about his missing boyfriend.

He all but dumped his backpack onto the floor, "I don't feel well. I'm going to bed."

"Guanshan-" Jian Yi began to stand up, his face sorrowful.

"Don't. Call me that."

His mother could call him that. And He Tian had been able to. Hong Fa slipped down the hall and slipped under his covers. It was routine, more than anything. He didn't have to see the looks of sympathy he got, and he didn't have to be reminded of the deep ache in his chest.

☼

He was without a doubt going to die. For once, after being knocked unconscious by several members of Wenyi Siwang, he didn't wake up on the same cold hard floor. Rather his hands and ankles were bound, cloth tied around his face and shoved between his lips, and he was blindfolded. However, he could hear the familiar hum of a car, could feel a leather seat under his aching body.

Oddly enough, he didn't mind too much. He'd finally stop being tortured, and perhaps without him around they'd forget about Guanshan. With a grunt, he flipped himself from his back, where his hands were numb from being pinned, to his side.

"Don't flop around much, He Tian," a voice murmured lowly. "Good you're finally awake. I know you can't talk, so just listen."

"Mhm," He Tian practically snorted around his  gag.

"I'm supposed to kill you by either drowning you or shooting you in the back of the head."

He knew the voice. He knew it very well. He simply didn't hear it enough to place it with a face, but it was familiar. With a lot of difficulty, He Tian repeatedly rubbed his face against the seat of the car to push off his blindfold. If he was going to die, he figured he'd see his killer's face, even if it meant dying sooner.

However, he certainly was not expecting his uncle to be staring back at him in the rear view mirror.

A muffled noise of surprise escaped him, and his uncle sighed heavily.

"You just had to go out and get attached to someone, hmm?" the man murmured, and they were suddenly pulling off on the side of the road.

He Shufen, a man He Tian had considered more of a father than his actual father, was supposed to kill him. It was with wide eyes that he watched Shufen exit the vehicle before opening He Tian's door. With a quick tug the man pulled He Tian's gag free and helped He Tian into a sitting position.

"You have to kill me?" the boy grunted in pain.

"Mm. That's my given task, yes. I'm the one they trusted could do it without a fight being put forth."

"Oh..." He Tian croaked, looking down at his bound wrists.

"So I'm going to untie you," Shufen responded. "You're going to get out of my car. And you're going to leave and _never_ fucking speak to me again, do you understand?"

He Tian's entire body stiffened. Of course he couldn't speak if he'd been killed, "I don't..."

"I'm assuming you're smart enough to keep your own ass safe after this, and if you're not, I _will_ kill you, because I'll without a doubt be killed as well."

"You're not going to kill me right now?" He Tian croaked stupidly. He understood, he just couldn't comprehend. Didn't understand why his uncle would risk something so extreme.

"I don't kill family. You're fucking going places, kid. You never belonged with us in the first place. So go out and form whatever fucking bonds you want, but stay low and don't be an idiot," Shufen instructed, his voice harsh but his hands gentle as they untied He Tian's limbs.

"Aren't you supposed to come back with some sort of proof that-"

Overall, bringing it up was a bad idea. But before He Tian could finish, Shufen had a knife against He Tian's hand and sliced as easy as slicing a carrot.

He couldn't even shout out in protest, the shock far too great. Granted, he also didn't feel a damn thing aside from the initial sting of the blade sinking into flesh. With blurred vision he could vaguely see his uncle holding up his detached middle finger.

"Yes. This is all that's left of you, as far as they'll know," his uncle replied, handing a slightly messy rag to He Tian. "Now please get out of my car, you're bleeding all over."

"You... you cut off my fucking finger," He Tian spluttered, holding the dirty rag dumbly in his hand until realizing he was to use it to stop the blood dripping all over his legs and down his arm. So much fucking blood. "That was my favorite finger."

"Listen, I brought you to the supermarket you always shop at but it's 1am so you'll have to find help elsewhere. I figure you can stumble your way to help. Don't go back to your apartment."

He Tian stood on his good leg, the other far too painful to put real pressure on, "Can I have my finger back?"

"Afraid not," Shufen quite literally stuck He Tian's middle digit into his pocket, shooing the boy out of the way as he walked around his car and slid into the passenger seat. "Good luck and have a good life."

And with that, his uncle shut the door and sped off, leaving He Tian stunned, confused, and extremely broken bodily on the side of the road. The boy was only in a t-shirt and boxers, freezing in the early spring night. He attempted a step forward only to crumble completely, catching himself with his right hand, the hand of his missing finger, and staring at the bloody handprint he left on the cement.

Vaguely he realized he definitely should find help sooner than later. His blood loss made him feel dizzy and weak, but the red of his blood triggered a single thought. Guanshan. Guanshan was just across town. If He Tian was dead, Guanshan was safe. So without further hesitation and firm determination He Tian began to crawl, knees stiff and arms weak. His torso throbbed and his left leg cooperated poorly, mainly dragging along behind him, but he crawled, using the forearm of his bloodied hand so as not to leave a trail, to the only person he could think to go to.

☼

As usual, Hong Fa was still awake long after his mother had left at midnight to work. Sleep only came in spurts, and half the time he fought it. The nightmares weren't worth the few hours of forgetting the rest of the world. Wrapped in blankets and He Tian's jacket, always He Tian's jacket, he sat on the couch and flipped numbly through infomercials, the only things that would play after 2am.

Somehow he was dozing off near 4am when a light thumping sound emitted from his front door across the room. For a moment his eyes remained closed. His mother was more than likely coming in with a key. Yet, it dawned on him that his mother wouldn't be returning until at least 9am. His eyes snapped open then, and he sat up rigidly. With a scrambling mind, his thoughts flitted to the gold knife that rested on his dresser.

Rather than further calamity, the only sound from his door was a faint knocking. A hoarse cough. On shaky limbs Hong Fa crept to the door, peeking out the window near it. It didn't appear that anyone was on the porch.

Stupidly enough, he opened it. Perhaps it had been the wind or an animal. Upon his first scan outside, there was nothing. And then his gaze fell to the crumbled heap of a boy at the threshold of his door.

The boy was barely recognizable, bruised, bloody, and the normally sharp features puffy with swelling, but Hong Fa collapsed.

"Oh my God," shaky hands tugged and pulled, guiding a shivering shoulders onto his lap, a head of greasy, bloody black hair against his chest. " _Oh my God-"_

"That's a new nickname," sounded the voice he loved so much. It was hoarse and softer than usual, but it was the voice he _adored._

The red haired boy was torn between clutching He Tian close and pulling away to look at him, to see him alive and in front of Hong Fa's own eyes. Still, Hong Fa sat He Tian up, still half on the porch with his door wide open as he gingerly took He Tian's face into his hands with trembling fingers. It was only as He Tian lifted his own bloody hand to thumb away tears that Hong Fa realized he was sobbing.

"I thought... I thought you were dead, I'm so sorry He Tian, oh my God-"

"Just my..." He Tian's head came to rest again against Hong Fa's shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the skin there. "My finger is dead."

The dark haired boy held up his hand, and Hong Fa nearly had to lean away to throw up at the sight. He Tian's middle finger was gone, barely a bloody stump left. Hong Fa gently pulled the hand to his chest. The wound was still bleeding slightly, and although Hong Fa knew little about amputated fingers, but he figured it should be elevated.

"You need an ambulance," Hong Fa croaked, trying to think clearly. He didn't dare release He Tian. If he released him, there was a chance of waking up alone, a chance of He Tian disappearing. It had happened countless times in his dreams. "I'll carry you inside."

"You look so cute in my jacket," He Tian sighed, nuzzling into Hong Fa. The boy was clearly out of it, his eyes glazed and his reflexes slow. Hong Fa did his best to carry, or rather drag, the injured boy into the warmth of the house.

It had him torn, but he raced down the hall to sort frantically through his cluttered room to find his phone. When he returned, He Tian was still seated near the couch, covered in Hong Fa's blankets. Relief courses through Hong Fa. This seemed so real. He Tian was in front of him.

He dropped to his knees, cupping He Tian's face as he pressed his ear to his phone, "Please don't leave again, I wont be able to handle it."

"I'm right here, Carrot Head," He Tian laughed, leaning into Hong Fa. "Guanshan."

"I fucking missed you, you idiot," Hong Fa choked, but then he was pushed through to an emergency operator, giving them his address in a hoarse voice. He stroked He Tian's bruised cheek the entire time.

"I love you, too," He Tian quietly replied once Hong Fa was off the phone.

Hong Fa's chest spasmed, but in a good way, unlike the past aches he'd felt. It'd been over a month since he'd heard that, heard it as what he thought was the last time, "I... I actually said I missed you but fuck, He Tian, I love you, too."

The boy dazedly lifted up his hand again, examining it, "You're warmer than me for once... also, my finger is still fucking gone. My favorite finger."

"Jesus," Hong Fa croaked, and he couldn't resist tilting He Tian's head back to gently kiss his scabbed and chapped lips. It wasn't the best taste in the world, but it was He Tian. "I'm going to keep you safe now. It's my turn to protect you."

He Tian smiled up at him, but he dropped his head back down against Hong Fa and wrapped his arms around the redhead tightly. Hong Fa held back just as tight. When the EMT's arrived, Hong Fa climbed into the ambulance with He Tian. He'd have to eventually tell his mother what was going on, but he'd keep his word. He Tian was back, and he wasn't letting him go again.

 


	16. not afraid anymore

_And touch me like you never_   
_And push me like you never_   
_And touch me like you never_   
_'Cause I am not afraid_   
_I am not afraid anymore_   
_-Not Afraid Anymore / Halsey_

**_ And yes this is unfortunately from the FSOG soundtrack (which i do not support i don't want anything to do with it) but halsey is my mom and this song fits well so. _ **

_☼_

"Go- go sit down before you hurt yourself!" an arm, the arm that had recently gotten the cast off of it, curled around He Tian's waist to help him out of the kitchen and towards the couch.

"I'm just testing my walking cast, Carrot Head!"

"You're being an idiot."

With a heavy sigh He Tian allowed himself to flop back on the couch. The redhead that helped him prop up his leg was the largest worry wart he'd ever met. Granted, it had only been two months since he'd showed up beaten to near death and bleeding all over Guanshan's porch - all of which happened after He Tian had more or less submitted himself to his grave right in front of the poor boy.

He figured it was probably a bit scarring to a person. And he spoke from first hand experience. The very thought of Guanshan being killed by _Wenyi Siwang_ had nearly made He Tian lose his mind. In fact, had he not been half out of his mind from blood loss, pain, and dehydration, he wouldn't have dared show up at Guanshan's door again. Even with Wenyi Siwang supposedly in his past, he didn't ever want Guanshan in danger again because of him .

Guanshan had other ideas. From the moment He Tian woke up in a hospital with a cast on his leg, arm, and a total of fifty-two stitches placed here and there across his body, Guanshan remained at his side. Or rather, from the moment he had been pulled into Guanshan's warm arms after He Tian crawled to him in the cold spring night the boy had been there. Guanshan was still at his side despite it being nearly two months later.

Seonigmi and Guanshan had been so good to him, taking him into their home. He Tian swore it was just until he could get back onto his feet, but Guanshan seemed determined that it'd be for as long as He Tian needed. Of course, he was already going stir crazy from staying in the house while Guanshan was at school.

The redhead had determined it wouldn't be safe for He Tian to attend their school anymore, just in case. Rather, Guanshan was to finish up his year before he would transfer a town over, and He Tian would transfer with him. It certainly would put him behind, but he hadn't been left much of a choice when Guanshan quite literally stopped talking to him and slept on the couch because He Tian insisted he'd go back to school despite the threat of his ex-mafia finding him alive.

It had been a far greater ordeal than necessary, possibly with He Tian being a bit of an asshole and purposely pushing Guanshan's buttons.

_"If I let them find me a second time and they actually kill me it's my own fault. I'm not worried."_

_"What the dick- I'm worried about you, you fucker!"_

And then Guanshan had ranted about preferring to keep He Tian around, about not wanting to lose him again, and pouted on the couch until He Tian wormed his way onto the small sofa with Guanshan, bum leg and all, to apologize with gentle kisses and the soft stroking of red hair.

However, He Tian then attempted to insist the exact same concept to Guanshan. Wenyi Siwang certainly knew about him as well, and if they ever wanted could go after him there. Guanshan retaliated with the fact that Jian Yi and Zhengxi took it upon themselves to walk to and from school with Guanshan. Which was quite true, as the duo swore up and down that they'd let no harm come to Guanshan. And with He Tian's father (if he could even be considered that anymore) holding himself high and mighty to the fact that he always kept his word, he desperately chose to believe that they'd leave Guanshan alone.

It didn't stop him from worrying, of course. He demanded updates from Jian Yi and Zhengxi at nearly all parts of the day _atop_ the text updates he would get from Guanshan. Nothing ever in a controlling way, just making sure that the boy was as content and as safe as he could be at school.

Jian Yi was always texting He Tian anymore anyway, seemingly having deemed him as a bestfriend. Which, therefore, Zhengxi was dragged into the 'friendship' as well. The reunion between He Tian and the blondish pair in general had been interesting. The only person Guanshan had told about He Tian's rather bloody arrival was Seonigmi, and that was hours later when the worried mother had called her son about the blood on their doorstep. Guanshan couldn't be blamed, of course, he'd been in a rather great state of shock.

When Guanshan hadn't showed up to school two days in a row, Jian Yi and Zhengxi all but forced themselves into Guanshan's house. Guanshan and He Tian had returned back to Guanshan with He Tian still heavily relying on painkillers, and Guanshan had been doing dishes in the kitchen when Jian Yi and Zhengxi burst in and rushed down the hall. Guanshan, having not seen the two, thought someone was after He Tian and ended up scrambling after them with a paring knife.

Of course he quickly realized there wasn't any threat after Zhengxi flung his arms out in front of Jian Yi to defend the blond, who wasn't at all paying attention to either of them. Rather, Jian Yi had promptly burst into messy tears and was blubbering as he tried to yank He Tian into a hug. To which He Tian was groggy with medication, half asleep having been woken up from a nap, but still having none of the sudden affection. Guanshan came to his rescue thankfully, pushing the boy off of him, albeit possessively as well, but He Tian let Jian Yi hug him after he was much more coherent and determined to make Guanshan jealous.

A bowl being placed on the side table beside him snapped him out of his thoughts, and his gaze flickered up to meet the raised eyebrows and blue eyes of Guanshan. With one arm broken and the other not only having the stiffness of once broken fingers but also a _missing_ finger, He Tian had some difficulties using silverware still. Guanshan had taken it upon himself to spoon feed He Tian, generally.

"Thank you, babe," He Tian murmured, but he used his good leg to suddenly wrap it around Guanshan's behind and yank the boy atop him.

The redhead gave a yelped protest, twisting away from He Tian's bad leg, "Jesus- are you trying to hurt yourself today?"

"I've been alone here all day while you were at school and I just want your company," He Tian replied innocently, wrapping his arms tightly around Guanshan.

And the pale skin of the boy's was always so soft. He Tian took advantage of stroking it with his thumbs in hopes of relaxing Guanshan's tense body. It worked slightly, but Guanshan only pulled away and stood back up on his feet.

"You need to eat and I need to clean the kitchen."

With a false pout, He Tian looked at the redhead, "You aren't going to feed me?"

For awhile He Tian had been able to get away with acting helpless in order to have the boy's constant attention. In fact, for the first few weeks they were practically glued at the hip. Only when Guanshan was certain He Tian wasn't going to up and disappear so suddenly again did he slowly start reverting back to a healthy distance.

"I know you can use a spoon."

"Guanshan," He Tian dragged out, purposely being as whiny as he was capable of. He tried to stand up, but a pale hand placed itself on his shoulder.

"I'm going to go in the kitchen and you're going to eat. You need to start taking better care of yourself."

"That's what I have you for."

Guanshan only rolled his eyes, walking away but holding his middle finger up at He Tian. He Tian attempted to do the same in return, but scowled when his only hand with a finger available was casted. Sooner or later, though, He Tian knew he'd be well enough to go out on his own again.

There was so much he needed to do without being financially aided by Wenyi Siwang. He needed a job, a place to stay... the cozy little house was wonderful, but he couldn't overstay his welcome. Even if sharing a bed with Guanshan each night had been wonderful for a multitude of reasons.

Idly he ate the soup Guanshan had made, slightly dreading all that he would have to do. Dreading the risk it could bring to work in a public atmosphere where a mafia member could spot him at anytime. He wasn't even able to enjoy the wonderful cooking that his boyfriend always supplied. It wasn't even that he was concerned for himself, but if they had tried to get to him through Guanshan before...

Guanshan was suddenly sitting onto the couch beside him and eying the half eaten soup before he pressed himself wordlessly against He Tian's side and flipped the television off mute so he could channel skim.

"Basketball?" Guanshan asked.

"I don't recall my opinion ever helping you decide before," He Tian teased, kissing the shaved hair on the side of Guanshan's head.

"Yeah, bastard, but something's bothering you and I'm trying to con you into telling me," Guanshan deadpanned.

"I'm mainly just hoping that when I'm well enough to get a job, and if my old _family_ was to ever find me, that they'd mainly just kill me instead of trying to make me suffer."

The television remote clattered to the floor as Guanshan twisted his torso so violently that He Tian wondered how his spine stayed in place, "That's not even fucking funny."

"I'm not _joking,"_ He Tian snorted. Which, okay, he kind of was. But in all seriousness. "I'm just saying that I'm worried about you. About them finding out I'm alive and then coming for you to hurt me."

"They aren't going to-"

"But they _could_. They know. They know how much you mean to me."

Guanshan turned as red as his hair, and He Tian loved it. As many times as he confessed his affections for Guanshan, the boy always seemed to blush, "I... I meant that they aren't going to find out you're alive."

"Here's to hoping," He Tian sighed, but he placed his best hand, though still damaged, on Guanshan's cheek.

☼

" _Jesus-"_

Guanshan leaned and sank his teeth into He Tian's neck to silence himself as he rocked his hips atop the other boy, sweaty skin sliding together, a deep heat throbbing where He Tian was sheathed inside Guanshan and where the redhead's own length rubbed between their torsos.

It made He Tian give a loud grunt of his own, however. Biting was his _thing._ Guanshan tended to forget it in the moment, but would certainly use it to his advantage if he remembered.

It'd been awhile. With a broken leg and a broken arm, Guanshan had turned down He Tian's advances for fear of the boy hurting himself. He had only allowed handjobs, blowjobs, and had frotted against He Tian's good leg once or twice after He Tian's insistence. But the immediate day that the casts were off, they'd all but rushed back home, Guanshan having skipped school for the occasion.

And his fucking _mother_ was home. They'd lied, said they were going to nap, and with the lights off and the door locked they'd rolled around for quite some time as they kissed, sucked, and nipped at each other's bare skin hungrily. He Tian fingered Guanshan for what felt like hours, had him writhing with a pillow clutched to his face so his escaping noises couldn't be heard by his mother. The raven haired bastard seemed so smug about it, too.

That was, until he was gazing up at Guanshan with his mouth agape and his hands squeezing bruises onto pale hips. He Tian's own hips felt bony under Guanshan's thighs. The tan skin certainly seemed scrawnier and less built, but He Tian also had been extremely malnourished in the time he'd been kept away from Guanshan. It only had Guanshan clinging to He Tian that much tighter as they rocked together.

"You're so tight, it's not hurting you is it?" He Tian panted quietly against Guanshan's neck as he surged up to hold the boy close, to bite at the soft skin there. His breath hitched as he reached around to feel where he was buried deep, skin to skin. Condoms were a thing of the past after they'd both been tested. "More lube?"

"Fuck, it's perfect just like this-" Guanshan groaned, arching himself forward to keep the sweaty friction on his dick and to keep He Tian deep inside.

Rather than rocking their hips, He Tian tried to guide Guanshan into bouncing on and off of him with Guanshan's nails digging into his shoulders. But the mattress creaked beneath them with their movements growing a bit more frantic, and He Tian stilled with a snort.

"Your mattress is so fucking loud."

"It wasn't until we started fucking on it all the time. Now shut up and keep fucking me," Guanshan grabbed He Tian's face into his hands.

He Tian had to stifle his laughter into Guanshan's hair, "Goddamn, I love you."

Desperation drove He Tian into flipping them over, holding Guanshan down and grinding into him hard and deep until he was grabbing at He Tian's hair, ripping at the bedsheets, and spilling between them with a gasp of He Tian's name.

He Tian fucked him through it, the grinding vaguely nearing a thrust hard enough to knock the bedframe against the wall. He was far too close to care. He came hard enough for his vision to white out, panting against Guanshan's neck as he slumped on top of the boy.

After several minutes of soft hair stroking and gentle kisses, Guanshan snorted, "Ma is definitely going to know we weren't napping."

He Tian snickered quietly, "Especially when I run out in nothing but a towel to beat you to the shower."

"You just came in my _ass_ , I get to fucking shower first," Guanshan attempted to squirm out from under He Tian's weight at the threat.

He Tian shoved a pillow into Guanshan's face, before bolting up and searching blindly through the dark room for a towel, laughing the whole time as Guanshan stumbled around after him complaining about the feeling of _He Tian_ making its way out of his ass. But it also turned the dark haired boy on enough that he joined Guanshan in the shower regardless. Seonigmi seemed too invested in her tv show to mind.

☼

"I got hired on at a supermarket."

He Tian watched as Guanshan froze in the doorway. So, perhaps it wasn't the best way to greet someone as they entered their house after school. He, of course, helped the boy take off his bag and jacket as he waited anxiously for a response.

"Which... which market?"

"It's nowhere near where they'd be," He Tian assured. "It's a town over so the bus commute will suck, but. It's a job."

"I don't even have a job yet, aside from helping our neighbor with her groceries sometimes," Guanshan snorted. "What was your rush?"

"Unlike you, I'm kind of homeless," He Tian laughed as he followed Guanshan into the kitchen.

It earned him another furrowed brow look, "You have a home."

"I can't go back to my apartment, remember?"

Guanshan abandoned whatever he was going to do in the kitchen to shuffle to He Tian, soft cold hands seeking out the warmer, far more damaged ones, "I know. I mean here. You have a home here. With... with me."

Warmth flooded through the taller boy, and he gave Guanshan's hands a gentle squeeze. 

"Well, yeah, you're the first person that's ever felt like home to me. A real home," but he felt he was being far too serious and he didn't want to make Guanshan do something insane like _cry_. The redhead's tears always frazzled him and made him feel shaky. "I just mean I can't keep mooching off you and your mother like the bastard I am. That's like stealing. I'm trying to give up my life of crime, remember?"

"You really are an idiot," Guanshan yanked his grip free, but he simply stood higher on his toes and seized He Tian's face between his hands. "We want you here. You're part of our family now whether you like it or not. I fucking dare you to tell my mother you don't want to live here anymore. You'll make her cry."

It was another unspoken rule He Tian had for himself. Don't make Guanshan cry. Don't make Seonigmi cry. Don't disappoint either of them.

"If I'm living here the I'm at least going to buy groceries and help pay bills," He Tian said firmly. "No one can change my mind on that."

Guanshan had certainly seemed to relax, however. His stunned state before, the tense shoulders, all melted away. Even the boy's always furrowed brow smoothed out as he cracked a smile, "Yeah, yeah. Now unload the dishwasher, bastard. I'll start on dinner."

He Tian obliged, but only after stealing a kiss and a grope of Guanshan's ass.

☼

Somehow, someway, he'd been with He Tian for a full year and three months. It always astounded Guanshan that someone he once was so irritated by - or rather, someone who he was _still_ irritated by, owned his heart so entirely. He loved the dark haired, always smug, asshole that was full of crude humor, joking battles, but warm affection. He loved that stupid boy so much.

He Tian had become such a huge part of Guanshan's life that the redhead truly couldn't see himself without the playful snark, the mischievous eyes, and gentle hugs that the raven haired boy held.

For the longest time, even after getting He Tian back, he was terrified of losing him again. Terrified was perhaps an understatement. It was a cold and numbing fear that had him utterly petrified. There were nightmares. On both boy's part, really. Guanshan dreamed of He Tian's body turning up, of He Tian being killed in front of his very eyes, or of He Tian being found again. Apparently He Tian had similar dreams. A numerous amount of times the other had been awoken by panicked hands feeling out for them.

But things were good. They were as good as they could be. Guanshan got on as a stocker at a more local grocery store, He Tian had somehow worked his way up to assistant manager at his store, and the two were saving to purchase an old building for a restaurant to surprise Seonigmi. Somehow, they truly seemed out of reach from Wenyi Siwang.

There was one close call where He Tian called Guanshan up in a panic as Guanshan left work. 

"Are you safe?" He Tian had croaked out. "Guanshan, just- please stay where you are."

It had only been efficient in panicking Guanshan as well, as he immediately thought _they'd_ come for He Tian. And of course He Tian had shot down all of Guanshan's questions.

"Yeah I'm fucking safe, are _you safe?_ What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Just don't move- Jian Yi and Zhengxi are going to walk you home. Promise me you'll stay where you are."

And Guanshan _didn't_ fucking promise, but He Tian hung up anyway and wasn't answering his phone anymore. Guanshan fought to keep his sanity, fought the urge to ignore He Tian and head straight home. However, Jian Yi and Zhengxi showed up shortly. They were just as confused. The redheaded boy sprinted home, knowing it'd be faster than waiting for a bus, and the two accompanying him did their best to keep up.

Oddly enough, He Tian met them a few blocks away from the house, seemingly running from the bus stop on their street. As always, Guanshan's first instinct was to be _furious_ with He Tian for worrying him, but He Tian slammed into him with a hug so tight that Guanshan couldn't do anything but reciprocate it.

"Damn it, He Tian, what happened? I was so worried about you, I-"

"I saw my brother."

Guanshan scrambled backwards, his eyes wide, "What? Did he see you? He Tian!"

"You didn't see anyone familiar looking, did you? My brother wasn't- he was just picking someone up. He didn't see me, but I panicked. I was afraid they were looking for us."

The redhead had wanted to smack the other boy, but He Tian truly did seem freaked out. He was still clinging to Guanshan's arms, keeping him within arms reach. Jian Yi and Zhengxi only seemed bored, and Jian Yi demanded Guanshan make them food for their troubles. Guanshan put chili flakes in Jian Yi's tea.

☼

Never in a million years would Guanshan have seen himself, a practical recluse with fake people who he called fake friends, falling in love with a boy like He Tian. And He Tian, he never imagined getting out of Wenyi Siwang, and he _definitely_ had never imagined finding someone who looked past his looks, the money he once had, someone he would give anything to protect. He had considered himself invisible, strong... but Guanshan could make him weak in the best way.

They understood each other in a way no one else could, a way no one else _would._ People had thought they were insane, and they probably were, but none of it mattered. Those people were left far behind, and Guanshan and He Tian moved on to build each other up. To support each other. The love they shared may have been strange, but it was theirs, no one else could have a say in it. It was immense. Strong, unbreakable, their strange love.

_fin._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm shook. I've been writing this fic for so long now it seems. Thank you all who have supported our grumpy redhead and asshole He Tian! I'm sorry if some of it seems super unfinished, but I wanted it that way. These boys are prone to mystery you feel? I might write more of them in the future, I'm not sure! I love them dearly and I love that their relationship is advancing in the ACTUAL 19 Days, too. So yes, thank you again for reading! Goodbye, for now! 
> 
> OH and you can also come talk to me at my [tumblr](http://paladincoolcats.tumblr.com) c:


End file.
